~ HK sharing
And yes the first dish served to us was seafood chowder soup. Erm its amazing, have I not said enough!?! I wondered if we have something like this in Spore? So if anyone knows, jus leave me a note? Its creamy-yet-not-too-creamy seafood soup covered with a layer of crispy-not-oily-thin-and-soft bread. Its so delicious. And since its the first dish no one needs to ask the other person to finish it, we cant have enough of it! When the next dish came, salmon and prawn salad, we were amazed! Shocked is a better word. Its such a big plate and we were like "opps did we order too much". Yes, everything is fresh and super duper naturally-sweet. Argh! We finished a whole plate of crispy fruits and seafood again. Then came two plates of spagetti. Erm the best I ever tried. Second would have to be Chicken Pasta from Singapore' s cream bistro. But really I would go crazy with eating spagetti. I love it! We were super duper full!! But we really managed to finish them all. Amazing! Oh plus the moment the dishes came, we were like photos-crazy, jus keep taking photos of the food, till we both got tired of waiting and hurried the other person. Erm even empty plates were featured. Fun times.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Fun times do not come all the time. Maybe its because there are many tiring, sad, angry, disappointing, heart- breaking, exhausting times would fun times be fun, and happy times be happy. It is so easy to tell you not to look back but I never seemed to too ready for the future.

Things you still dont know
1. I cut my hair
2. I dislike i-t to the core.
3. I do not wish that I would see i-t ever again.
4. When I am slow at your msn, unless I am busy (how busy am I in front of you?), mostly I am angry with you.
5. When I am angry with you, my replies are short, and appeared to be redundant.
6. When I am angry with you, I would not reply unless until you stop saying things that would make me upset.
7. When I am angry with you, I get hurt more than anything else.
8. I dont like it when I am angry with you.
9. When I am angry with you on a friday, sometimes I dont know how to react on a Monday.
10. You often call, but rarely because of me. Yet everything disappear the next time again. Yet everything disappear when you jus asked "so how is it?" or "hows the response?".
11. I have moved on. Jus that I still turned back. I need something to pull me away. I cant push myself far away enough.

Ten random things about my day of being a "receptionist"
1. Getting thirsty, headache and a fever (due to lack of sleep)
2. Some people have names that are so difficult to spell and I write them in my own interpretation. (imagine my supervisor fainting when she sees the rough work)
3. Some people have emails that are so difficult to piece together, and I got the A-B-Cs all wrong.
4. Some people have names that are so difficult to pronounce and I silently pray they dont pick up so that I wouldnt need to embarrass myself.
5. Its not easy being a receptionist. After going for toilet visit (I had 4 since morning today), I dont feel like calling again.
6. I listen to so many different kind of ringing tones that they sound like mobile phone ringing.
7. I get so frightened when I am speaking and heard nothing over the phone. In general, I am the kind who are most afraid of silent when there is the presence of someone. Shucks.
8. Its quite difficult to use the phone and type at the same time, especially when you want to make sure your (my) rebonded hair remains straight as ever.
9. You know I am done with being a receptionist when I blogged with many exclamation marks throughout my blog (happy!)
10. You know I am getting happier as I end my phone conversation with "Have a nice day!"

One interesting thing is, one of my phone call was directed to Australia and I was like "HUH!"

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
As much as you are my strength most of the time, the later of today is definitely not-one-of-those-most-of-the-time. You made me tired.

Ok the thing is that because each time I put in my thumb drive, my computer will hang on me. So ok I will stop putting the thumb drive in. THE! That means I have to email all the stuff that I want to save to my gmail account. And that also means that my blog entries are unsaved. Its alright for now since everything is online but will get down to all these savings and keeping a copy some time soon. Blog entries provide traces to my life....

Anyway still making calls now. A few more on the list, with of course a whole chunk of unanswered ones. Listening to some music now so ya my hands are free to type.

The thing about calling companies is a scarly yet not a very frightening one. I used to remembered that I am very afraid of making announcement speeches in Borders. If you are there before, and pay attention to their notices (eg about lost child, closing hours) then you know what I meant. When I was first asked to switch from being a shelver to a customer service officer, JY and I were like "ar why both of us only?", "how ar, I dont dare to use the speaker?". But I overcame this fear, telling myself that if I only had one chance in doing it, then I wouldnt want to miss such an experience. So in the end, I did everything! I think whenever there was a need to use the speakers, my friends who remained as shelvers would approach us. Of course, if there is anything, approach JY! We love to sneak off for longer breaks and ended up eating in the pantry or Burger Kings' tarco pie (like it ever since JY introduced to me!). Ok back to the calling-of-companies. It was scarly because you have to speak to some really smart people or people who think they are and kinda ignore you. It is not very frightened because there are some really nice people (especially guys!) and I wrote a script, saying almost the same thing in all the calls I have made.

I really wanted to go. But my meeting with supervisor starts at 2pm that day. I doubt it will end before 3:15pm. How? p/s- If you think I wanted to work in this company, erm yes but it is jus a dream because its far beyond my reach. jus for some reason I wanted to go there. sigh! 

Some updates...

My computer
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt.
Laptop purchase? Thinking, considering and choosing, thanks to ND's help.

Thesis
Been calling companies since morning. Not easy! But nothing is easy. Anyway jus hanging around here since (1) my computer is working, (2) its lunchtime and I can reach no one. By the way did I mention that my next homework submission is on Monday Noon? No I hadnt, because I hadnt had time to work on it!! Sob sob... late friday night, late saturday night (morning and afternoon gone with project and lessons), sunday and monday morning... I hope its enough... Where to start?

I dont know how to pronounce my name?
Ok its because I am selected to act in a mini- role play for Monday 3-6pm class. My name is Prof (WOO!) Serena Seah, dean (more WOO!) of the faculty of science (erm I know nuts about atoms and neutrons) and professor of mathematics (if you hang around long enough with me, you know how bad it can be!)! Haha... erm scared (because I would have to stand in front of the class and act), excited (never been selected for such thingy in class before) and full of anticipation (hsy happens to be acting as Prof Lee, aka the one who is supposed to decide how much to allocate to each faculty. i hope he gets my point*).

* Erm if by now you hadnt know, hsy is someone from school. Very funny person because whatever we say to each other, we always (yes you didnt read me wrongly) misunderstands each other! But the rest of the group understands both of us, so where did it go wrong? Project meetings had been so fun with all the misunderstanding, clearing up of the air and re-communicating!

As I wait for lunch time to end, I better start some work on my thesis! Hope I did well for my GSM midterm yesterday!

The correlation between a guy's fashion sense and amount of security he gives.
Personal theory written by SY.

The more ordinary a guy's fashion sense is, the more security he can gives girls.
Ordinary fashion sense includes white, all shades of blue, black, all shades of grey, all shades of greenish grey. It also includes jeans and berms, slippers and conventional shoes. More security refers to partnership security, i.e. the more security he can gives, the better he would make a good husband, at least from my own point of view.

At the age of 22 (still very young!), I no longer think I am looking for a boyfriend- material in a guy. I guess it is the age thingy. But maybe its a be-it-or-not-be-it-thingy. Ok it is the have-or-not-have issue then. No longer would 22 years of age give you time to search for the one. I no longer fancy handsome looking guys (erm I always thought they jus look better, thats all). I always feel that a husband is someone you want to spend your life with, so it doesnt really matters how ordinary he looks like. Anything handsome and to be seen for a lifetime will soon turn ordinary looking too. More importantly is his values and the level of compatibility with yours; his characters; level of reliability and faithfulness.

I dont know if appearances or fashion sense would reveal all qualities of a husband- material guy, but at least I feel this way.

So who is he? Mickey or Smurf? okok you got enough of mickey huh? nd too! But cute right? *smucks* 

The day was busy, filled with (1) midterm test, (2) phone calls, (3) friend returning me notes, (4) someone asked me for my text (she happens to not know my name, but I know hers. THE! sigh!) (5) ND coming over to "cure" my computer (6) I reckoned I better get a laptop for safety reasons (less disruptive to work and emotions), (7) me uploading OE report, my part!

Thanks ND for all his efforts! Think I was much calmer when facing my dear computer and her tempers with him telling me this and that.

Finally going to call up a whole list of orgnizations when morning comes! Have to drag myself to wake up early because I scared I cant finish that list! Need to submit my thesis homework on Monday, 12 noon! Talk about meeting expectations!

Anyway today hsy and I happened to encounter another mid- communication- crisis! Oh, not again!?! We laughed it off again.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
I was there when you were weak today. I hope it helps though it doesnt solve.

~ HK Sharing
We got off and left the station immediately to take a cab back. The 6 minutes walk from MTR to kimberly is now too far for both tired fellows! Anyway when we got off the cab (SGD 3), we headed straight into Kimberly, avoiding all glares we are receiving! They must have thought something like "see this two crazy fellows dragging so much stuff, crazy man!". Erm erm *smucks*. Anyway I was frantically searching for the electronic card to our room (you always make me keep it saying that you will have a higher chance in displacing it even more!). In the end, by the time we got out of the lift, I still couldnt find it. Two fellows stood outside the hotel desperately trying to hold on to our carriers for some more minutes and finally I found the card. But then I slot in in the wrong direction (throughout the journey this scene repeats itself for umpteen times and each time you would comment and ask how long have I been staying here and why I still got it wrong. we would then laugh it off). Finally we went into our comfortable and cold room and threw all our carriers in the space between our beds! Woo, it filled that little place up! You wanted to try on the purchases, showered before heading for dinner. But we concluded that its real late, we were too hungry and there are too many things we can do later. So both of us went out again, this time for dinner at The Spagetti House. You already mentioned this place in Day 1, so we thought we would go over this day. It has a very classy setting, air-cond is cold and everything is in the red/ black/ purple colour. Hungry, we sat down and looked at the menu. As usual, I would be the slow-coach that needs your prompting every now and then. In the end, you would end up deciding what to order. Either that or I would end up ordering what you order, or what you think I should order. Anyway we were even frantically taking photos of the menu such that JY who was looking through my photos said that I literally took photos of everything I see. And we kept wondering when our orders would come. Oh we sat this English couple besides our table. They had pizzas. Seems really delicious. In fact everything on the menu seems super duper delicious!!! We didnt order pizzas though. Anyway the pretty lamp was kinda low so the tall English man knocked into it while he got up. Both of us were like BE CAREFUL! The waitress came with cold water and we gupped down like thirsty pigs! Waited for food to arrive...

Ok maybe no one cares that I am absent from my own blog. Anyway I had been having loads of problems trying to use the computer and the internet for the past two days. And its so THE when I am home all two days! So difficult to try to get things done.

Anyway ND is coming over tomorrow to help see the computer. Thanks!! I hope he can solve it!

The past two days hadnt been good. Mostly of sad moments, so why not talk about it. But I anticipate more good days. After my thursday 12pm Midterm test, I would be midterm-test-free! Though there seems to be a draggy project discussion that I dont think I am looking very much forward to. Jus hope that things will get beyond the dearest structure that I have worked out. *pray* Then it would be some TV for the night! Friday will come when I finally have time to work on my thesis. Mainly the population sample part already! Back to
school on Saturday for lesson and project discussion. But the thing is, suprisingly, I look forward to that. Probably because I love my project group and so I dont mind going back on Saturday. Plus its mostly alright for a person with no social life. Even better, I will come back home and give myself a break after all that! Sunday till Monday noon would be super duper busy trying to finally start on my measures already!

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
You are still the strongest when you are weak.

~ HK sharing
I left off talking about the interesting train journey. Well, we spotted a group of interesting people. The moment they walked in, our glares crossed and we both knew what the other partner is thinking! Yes!! Its one of those you-know-me-and-I-know-you time. Anyway we conversed in English (jus like how we would converse between ourselves as we tried to bargin for lower prices with the owner) thinking that they wouldnt understand us! To think that they knew English too! Anyway two of the people ended up sitting next to me and our conversations have to stop. Only left with the you-know-me-and-I-know-you glares! Anyway because we kept talking throughout the train journey, it was super duper enjoyable despite all our tiredness. And when we reached our destinations, we wished we dont need to get down. You know why? Because it would mean that we have to carry our carriers!! Amazingly I still managed them all.

People said matters of the love is complicated. I definitely agree. But they forget something. They forget that matters of the computer are equally complicated. Super duper zuper! They are either invisible (all the network thingy) or they are visibly complicated!! Now I understand why. Because a complicated computer is invented by an even more complicated human being. So how can a computer be simple? THE!

I confessed, when it comes to the matter of technoglogy and computer, I have only three phrases to describe myself (1) impatiently desperate (2) helplessly hopless and (3) full of admiration. Yes, my dearest computer is the far most important thing to me. So please my dear, I will treat you really well. I try to give you enough of sleep each day. You see, you sleep more than my sleeping hours already. You sleep when I am away in school and you sleep when I sleep. I try not to make you work so hard with all the programs running at the same time. And I try to give you a one hour lunch break everyday if I am at home....THE!

Anyway yes there is something wrong with the connection. If you are reading this, it doesnt mean there is nothing wrong. It either meant that I am (1) luckily to blog (2) I really have alot of patient to wait for blogger to load (3) I am addicted to blogger or (4) it has miracleously recover by itself.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
It is easier to walk away from you when I want a break from you. It is less easy when you are the one who walked away.

Anyway I am feeling very upset today because of the few hours that were gone due to all the complicated computer and internet thingy. Super duper upset seeing that I have so much work to be done using the computer.

So now, please can someone gives me some peace. I am in no capacity to do other things than work. Especially social interaction.

This is one of my lecture notes, trying to explain a concept.... But is that all? 

I was in class and I thought I saw mickey?!? Keke...  

Yes I didnt blog on Monday.

Monday was fine, except my hair remained u-g-l-y. Woke up later in the morning, went to school in the afternoon. Didnt do much of my paper since I was chatting on msn with you. Anyway had 3pm lessons. When it ended, my project discussion started and stretched all the way past 8pm. Main reason for long meeting? Me and hsy, once again, having huge communication problems. We always (YES always) misunderstood each other, which is obviously very weird since it is happening to only us in our group of 5. But no tension nor screaming. Instead we always had a great laugh about it. Anyway by the time I reached home, my brain was really exhausted. Talked on the phone for an hour plus and then trying to look at my paper again. My brain's tired, but I cant really sleep. Probably shall work through a bit more.

Erm anyway you said you wanted to help me start applying jobs. Are you going to keep to your promises?

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
I send you my resume already. Apply k?

~ HK sharing (short one because my brain needs a rest soon!)
Ok so carrying one mickey mouse bag and probably 3, 4 other bags on my hand, I passed through the MTR gate. Then got you to keep the MTR card for me, or was it the other way? Anyway we walked to the platform and you know something about HK MTR? Their platform is extremely long and so are their trains. Erm, and really crowded I must say. It must be around 6pm + or probably slightly earlier? We told each other that we must really get ourselves seats or we would fall apart by the time the train reaches Tsim Sha Tsim. Anyway so when the train came, we went in and sat down. Imagine the scene with two lazy and smelly people sitting on the train. We kept wishing that the train will be fast. Anyway we were discussing that after alighting at Tsim Sha Tsim, we would take a cab back to Kimberly. Yes yes my dear, Kimberly is jus a mere 6 minutes walk from MTR station but dear us could barely achieve that! Anyway you know what was the most interesting conversation for that train journey? Guess!

The importance of something need not be judged by words. Actions speak louder than words - seeing how much time I spend working and studying through the weeks, my year 4 is so important to me. I even skipped my favourite tv shows unknowingly.

The importance of someone need not be judged by words. This is when there can no other suitable scenario - seeing how the music over my earplug continues to play and how my term paper is set aside as I rushed over to get the phone. Once again, my resolution failed. Badly.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Hi.

Anyway when I jus came back from my trip from Hk (which was like 2 months ago, yayaya), I gotten myself a blogspot, intending to post all the photos up there, and to write all the stuff about HK in there - http://syhk05.blogspot.com/. The name of the blog? SY SQUARE X HK. Anyway it didnt happen because since I came back I was occupied with my thesis and then the semester starts again. Erm maybe next time?

~ HK sharing
So we dragged our tired bodies with all our carriers. We need to check out of the chinese check-point before checking into the hk check-point. We followed closely to the signboards as people from different nationality would be required to follow different check- out counters. So we went down the stairs. Haha! Half way down, we stopped because the carriers were really weighing us down. The heaviest purchases would have to be packet drinks and shampoo keke. Anyway we continued as we didnt want to meet up with the peak hours in HK. So we stood behind a line. I was ahead of you and of course can you imagine all the stares and glares we received? We were joking that perhaps we have to pay taxes because we bought so much. Anyway when it was my turn, I was told that I didnt fill in a form. I was so shocked. I remembered I turned around and told you that something's wrong. Then we had to leave the line and went over to fill in a form. You later told me that I gave you a fright, thinking that there is something wrong and we cannot go back to HK. You see, because of carrying all the carriers, our hands were so tired that we shivered while filling up the forms. Plus, I remembered the pens where those silvery kind that is chained to the table. We joined the line for a second time and each time the line is being cleared, we had to "kick" our carriers ahead. Haha! Finally we cleared the chinese check- point and went to check into the HK check- point. When we done all that, it led us to the HK MTR train entrance. You suggested to take a cab from Luo Wu to Kimberly. Though it is quite far (and thereby costing more), we thought it makes sense since we were so tired and hungry already. But it seems weird that there is no other entrance than the train entrance. Either we do not know of the entrance out to take a cab or there is really no other way to get to other parts of HK from there. So we took out our MTR card and about to board the train. One of your bags had been threatening to fall apart, so we stood aside and tried to squeeze its
contents into other bags. Then we thought, why not put them into the bags you bought? Woo! We have been two big sillies! Didnt realise this till now. So we tried to squeeze them into the brown mickey bag you bought for your sister.

You said that it looks so weird with you carrying that bag, so I offered to carry for you. In exchange, you took over one of my carriers, though I didnt give you the bag that contained the heavy drinks and shampoo. Anyway throughout the trip, as much as there is always you, I always try to be independent. For instance, I carried my own luggage bag and it was only when we were leaving for HK did you carry one of my bags as I was becoming sick. Other times, I often wandered around alone (though you are always somewhere near), and I would carry your bag while you were in the changing room.

Little amusement of the day. (Dad bought them). 

I already resisted but I know once again I was needed. But each time I extended my hand, I realised I came back with my own broken heart and wounded self. Who extends his hands for me, I ask. I got no replies.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
So is this a self- inflicting kindness. Because all I get in exchange of my patient, concerns and emotions are lies, hidden information and self- centered replies.

Little gift from Japan. Thanks to Uncle. My sister gave me the pink one, so thanks to her too. See that little green hole? If you look into it, you would see a picture! Its so cute.... Thanks. I love gifts, or rather who doesnt? 

Been pretty occupied these couple of days. Which is good.

Was home all friday to study my midterm test. Today was a busy day too. Had two project discussions, in which the first one lasted for 4 hours and hence I missed the second one. Anyway it took so long since we were trying to agree on the structure of our report. Ended up with guy not understanding girl and girl not understanding guy. But funny and fun, not those full of tense battling kinds. And the girls kept talking about rebonding and HK during lunch while the guys engaged in some boring conversations which we didnt even notice. Then had dinner with my aunt & uncle at Nai Ji, along Thomson Road.

Anyway my appepite's been rather odd recently- feeling hungry but too full to eat. And drinking too much coke I reckoned. Coke's saviour to my throat but I know all the sugar is bad.

Anyway my hair is pretty short now. *Sob Sob* I probably need to ban the salon on my list. I dislike my short hair!!! So unless you are not consoling me and feel totally sure that my hair is nice, please dont talk to me about my short hair. I get rather depressed over it. And so dont expect to see photos of me any time sooner. Plus I dont engage in much social activity or interaction these days. Very occupied with work. And, I reckoned that if I am not busy nor occupied, I wouldnt feel like I am one of the honours kids. So its peer pressure to get busy!

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Nothing. Maybe the meal can wait.

~ HK sharing
We ended up in a rather run- down mall. The only thing good is that the air- cond is blowing strong. I went into a shop and tried quite a few pieces of skirt. But seemed like the cutting isnt that good, didnt fit on me as if they were tailored. So decided not to get it. It was you who got a geniue leather working bag. You spotted one at Silvercord and said you would buy it if I am getting the shiny Crown tee. But since this leather bag is made of real leather, and I reckoned I wouldnt be getting that crown tee, you decided to get it. We spotted a little flaw of the bag so we managed to get a discount. A huge one indeed! Must be luckily. But its weird because the store owner said that the bag comes with a lifetime guarantee. Erm I dont know how true but it sure sounds interesting. The leather bag, by the way, is rather heavy on its own.

Anyway we decided to go back to get our deposited purchases. With our hands already full of bags, we got even more "tied" up with the initial purchases. You kept asking me to go get a cab. It was more like a order than a request. But since its you throwing a temper and I do have times of such, I went ahead to try to get a cab. And can anyone tell me how to hail a cab when both of your hands are full of bags? Its near impossible. Erm but somehow lady luck was on my side. She got me a cab! A cab stopped in front of me and the passenger paid and got off. So I was trying to get your attention while you actually stood at the side of the walkway with carriers all on the floor. Both of us got into the cab and you told the cabby that we wanted to get to Luo Wu, the train station. We wished the cab can drive us all the way back to Kimberly, even if it costs us much more we are more than willing! Two people who dislike the warm weather and had a long day are desperate people. Plus we were hungry. Anyway if someone has a camera, I bet this is our ever best shot. Two thin people in the cab, with much of the spaces filled with carriers. We each had about 4 to 5 bags full. And some of the bags are threatening to fall apart. Imagine what?!? I didnt even notice the scenery! Because I was gigging over our "states" while you were obviously rather tired and remained silent. Dont know anything about the cabby since he didnt show any emotions on his face. And I was smart, because I was searching my pockets for the cab fare (SGD 3) along the way. It must be a short journey since after a few big turns, we reached the familar train station. I paid, we got off, with me trying to see if we left anything behind. I couldnt close the doors (hey how to? with two hands full of bags and bags) and you had to do it somehow. Oh did I mention that my fingers were becoming red since I dont dare to let out, fearing that I dont know how to go about picking them up when I need to alight fast!!! Crazy us.

Who is the someone whom you dont feel like talking to when you are trying to move on in life. Is it the friend who knows you best or the friend you largely disregard?

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,









(There is nothing wrong, it is meant to be so)

~I am angry. I am sick. I am tired. I am hurt. I am everything, but really I am nothing.

I thought I wouldnt get angry over again.
I thought I wasnt pretending when I am so sick really.
I thought I am alone and thank I am very tired.
I thought I wldnt remember any hurt but too bad I remembered too well.
I am nothing. When was I ever something.

I dont know if it matters to anyone or not, but I am in no capacity to write for today. Till I am back, I am nursing a silly me. For now, jus let me cry.

Going to meet my supervisor at 2pm today. Erm wish me luck and ya be there.

~ HK Sharing
The most memorable purchase for this second round was made when we were about to leave. The lady saw that you like that army-like shirt and asked you to get it. Because she saw that our hands are all full of carriers and with me ready to leave, she immediately slashed the price of that piece of tee by half! Yes, we couldnt believe it. Then you thought since you were looking for that tee in Singapore for some time, you went into her store to try it on. Of course, her selling skills are great. She tried to get you to buy a few more pieces. And she started complaining that why need to try the tee when you said you jus want one. Anyway we got that and left. Came to a very dark shop that sells countless (super duper like thousands and thousands) of bracklets. How to pick one?! We left and went to KFC for a drink. Then we decided we should call it a day.
Thanks, we always thought we should call it a day when it doesnt jus stop there.

~ * 21 September 05, you told me that you wish you could go to HK, not to shop, but to eat and walk around. You said you would be happy.

I wish, we could do it all over again. A million times.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
If I only know the greatest problem of your life and know so little of your present life, what do I know of you.

The whole hall all for us. I like that. See, not that bad... 

My sister still hard at work...
Anyway she is a great companion, though her not-very-good badminton skills remained at that not-very-good level.  

The lazy-me left all the hard work to my sister *smucks*

Played badminton with my sister. Reasons being
1. I wanted to play badminton.
2. I asked her and she agreed, willingly.
3. I am lazy to ask other people.
4. Working friends wouldnt be free for the 4-5pm time slot.
5. Too lazy to walk to Clementi Sports Hall to play.
6. Too lazy to go swimming.
7. Too lazy to go jogging.
8. I badly need exercise.
9. I reckoned my sister needs to get away from the house, books, tv and bed for a while.
10. Jus wanted to get away from my books and be sweaty.

Getting all confused over this...dumb me, mixing up all the number. 

Guess which silly drew this? Me. I drew it during the singapore-idol time.  

Something I did. Something you might think its useless. 

Taken in the law library, a place I used to hang out when I want to avoid you. Anyway it looks really nice when its small in my phone. Good for wallpaper. 

A roller coaster ride of emotions.

Had to wake up early today. Though I was awake before the alarm clock rang feriously, still wished I could laze around a bit longer.Anyway when I reached lab, I was charging my phone and waiting for the computer to start. Then the phone rang loudly, breaking the silence in the lab. I saw a very unfamiliar number though I still press the green button. Before I could say a word, "you in school?" was what I heard. I was super duper shocked. I was about to think carefully who this person is then I heard "you in school?" again. Then I was like, "you ar, I thought who is it, you gave me a fright loh, using this unfamiliar number". Anyway happy. Happy.

Another happy thing is that nd helped me to transfer the photos and music clips from my t630 phone to his laptop. Yipee! Wanted to have those photos and music clips saved elsewhere than my phone but realised only a laptop can do the job. Thanks! Maybe can post some of the photos later.

Anyway throughout the 1 hour meeting (half an hour spend waiting for a guy-who-supposedly-dislike-people-wasting-resources-and-time), I was like a evil- scheming, hard- selling insurance agent who tries to convince him of all the plus points of buying from me. I think I am more like a desperate convict trying to clear my own name. The! "Nearly die" is literally what I would tell you. I never have to justify the simplest task like heaven-knows what. But anyway listening to the music clips now. Magic.

Would be missing you since you are going away later today. A group discussion and a badminton game should make me too occupied and tired to realise your absence? (your msn message jus came in).

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
I dont know if my heart is waiting or not. But it is not important. It really isnt. Because if my heart is not waiting for anything, feels for nothing, then my life will be empty, aimless and unmotivated.

Anyway we have a reminder that will ring in 3 years time. 21 September 2008.

[Edited]
My computer clock reads 1:27am. As much as the afternoon nap is good, its bedtime again.

Jus wanted to say that I enjoyed working with some of the year 4s in my group. But sure, its stressful and competitive when everyone is always so knowledgable and prepared.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
If I have a choice, I always want to work with you. The past.

~ HK Sharing
Anyway we entered into this building and found that it is a massive networks of shops! Compare to Far East? It is 100 x of Far East!!! We are so overwhelmed by what we see. We jus know that to finish going through all these shops will take a long time, let alone to pick and buy! Speed is the critical thing now! You jus keep hurrying me and the-slow-me had to be real fast in spotting, deciding and paying. Of course, you dont get to try. I mean you can if you try in the toilet but then no time to be wasted. Prices are set at warehouses prices. We bought too much that at one point, the owners asked if we are buying for our stores! Opps! We laughed it off. Anyway you jus couldnt stop buying tees. One piece after another, and when you asked for my opinion, I told you in English that an additional one is nothing more but not buying another one is nothing less. And things like - nice loh, if you want then buy. Store owners would say that you are HK citizen while I am from foreign country. Cant recall if you correct them but ya. You also buy bags for your mum and sister. Haha we had some fun trying to bargain for lower prices. I will tell you, jus walk away and the store owner will come running after you. It works!

Nice disney ringtones I wish I have
- Zip-a-dee-doo-dah
- It's a small world
- Love will find a way
- Under the sea 

For yapp: Birkenstock... 

Jus woke up. Slept for an hour. Peaceful nap.

Switched off my phone most of the time, but need to text something so I switched it on when I woke up. Your message came in. Then you call came in. Then you are online.

Though you didnt call to ask "so how are you" and stuff like that, its still nice to hear you whisper over the phone while at work. And it always caught me by surprise when you will suddenly say something related to me out of nowhere.

Anyway next weekend, I might not be free *smucks* Erm, should I go to the salon this friday? *thinking*

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Please be always there. Everywhere? I am not greedy. As long as there is one moment everyday.

Anyway I am super duper dumb. I borrowed many library books and because on and off I returned some of them and get new ones, I lost
track of what I have and what I dont.

This note is found of my file:-
Waiting for library book - HD4904.25 Wor DUE 01-10-05
Zedeck, S (1992) Work, families, and organizations. Imprint San Francisco : Jossey-Bass , c1992. Edition 1st ed.

So I was thinking, erm who else needs this book? Weird. And guess what? What?

I was the borrower of that book. 

Nothing much to say, so what if its the recess week. I guess the only thing is I wouldnt need to go to school. But then already, need to be back on Wednesday, Thursday & Saturday. Ok maybe I am less disciplined - sleep more, watch TV more.

My best companions? TV, computer, my blog and my sister.

Guess I am either frustrated, exhausted or disappointed. Anyway is fine. I will be fine.

~ HK Sharing
Bi Shen Ke- thats the Chinese name for Pizza Hut in China *Smucks*

Anyway after lunch, we continued with our search for Bai Ma Market. We asked the security guard / police (cant differentiate them both from the uniform he is wearing) but gotten not much new information. He jus pointed to us in that direction and spoke nothing more. So we jus went ahead. Since we had our carriers left at the shopping mall, our hands are free again!! Felt recharged and fresh for another round of shopping.

Though we are buying alot of things, prices are relatively cheaper and hence it is really the guilt-free shopping. Though shopping in Thailand is said to be cheaper, but the quality and fashion might be compromise. But in Shen Zhen, nothing is compromise. You get the latest design, in rather alright quality at super duper reasonable price. For instance I got a working skirt at SGD 4! Erm where to get at this price? Though the quality is different from the SGD 60+ from Stage of Playlord, SGD 4 dollars is still not expensive to get it. And yes, you get lots of Mickey and Disney tee too.

Didnt touch on my thesis the whole of today till now. Reckoned I wouldnt do much till tomorrow. Sometimes I get tired of living up to expectations each time round. I guess its a sign of weakening. I will need to find more drive and progress in my thesis.

Anyway doing preparation for my OE project discussion next saturday (yes its a saturaday). Quite happy with what I found and my analysis of the case. Starting to enjoy that module. Especially working with those year 4s and 3s. Can get quite energetic working intensively together. Jus like those IA & CF days. Tough lives but sure the most memorable ones. Then continued working on a cross faculty module (yaya the one with Mr YY as "group member"). When you asked me, "Oh that one with the guy whom you quarrel with?", I thought it was the only time I can find traces in your life with me. Anyway then spend the time talking to you and had dinner. Mum cooked the noodles I brought from Shen Zhen. Super duper yummy!

I dont know if this will extrapolate into the future naturally, but for these few days, my heart hasnt been pinning for you as much as I used to. But reckoned the word is still "as much as", meaning my heart still pins. Anyway you are leaving soon, again. This time for a longer time. I hope I will do fine during this period.

Knew your reply with regards to SYJ's birthday chalet. Guess its you and she isnt your-that-group of friends thats why. Only that-group-of-friends is the closest to you.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Am I always this weak when you are strong?

Isnt this cool? Think its quite a good birthday present idea. *smucks* Man, wished I had this as birthday present... 

Sleepy. Yesterday our family of four was watching the horror movie that was aired on TV on friday. Man, its scary. But the most scary bit about watching them is when you go to bed and when you have to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. Wanted my sister to sleep with me but she was still studying. So Mum had to sleep in with me till she comes. And I had no idea when she came in. Was that sleepy though very frightened.

Been too lazy to go jogging. Think my body needs it. But the! Too lazy to wake up early to jog. Lazy me.

SYJ's celebrating her birthday in chalet next month. Wondered if by then I would have the time to go over. She asked me to ask you along. The. Have to call you later.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
I hope you are not doing it to me.

~ HK sharing
We decided to head for lunch, or maybe we decided to look for the Ba Ma Market. Couldnt remember that clearly already. But we walked up the street and found KFC and Mac in another shopping mall. Ended up in Mac. Rather packed. We were looking through the menu and of course Mac meals over there is also cheaper. One drumstick for SGD 1 bucks- equivalent to the hawker price of one here. You wanted the Grilled Pork Chop burger meal and so I followed suit (Yes Yes, you dont get grilled pork chop burger meal here in Singapore). Its absolutely delicious and mouth-drooling, though I must admit the fries can be rather salty. But hey coke is the saviour of the day! Finished the whole big and juicy burger and the coke. Left the fries unfinished. Anyway the meal costs about SGD 4. Yes!!! You said you could still have one more, and I agreed. Anyway when the staff delivered it to us, you asked them where Ba Ma Market is. He gave vague directions but we decided to get do with it. At least we know we were on the right side of the road. Anyway the burger is super duper zuper delicious, but still we had more important task (i.e. shopping) ahead of us, we left Mac. Thought we might be able to come back for dinner or something. Anyway we followed the toilet sign and was rather lost. They pointed in the direction of the Mac restaurant but we found none in Mac itself. Ended up we found it outside the resturant. Haha.

Oh and guess whats the name of the restuarant who has a chinese name of - Bi Shen Ke?

Going to school on a saturday is no easy feat, especially when your weekday-battling-speed is now reduced to weekend-luxury-noncompetitive motion. Anyway meeting is on the right track especially when I get along with the group pretty well. The next satursdays will be occupied by make-up lessons and project discussions. And two of us reached the consensus that all year fours are "avoiding" their supervisors. The!

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
I dont know if the day has come but I jus know I cant leave.

~ HK sharing
We went to pay. Wanted to pay together but realised that our bills are so mixed up and we would have greater problems if our grocery are to be paid by a person. So decided to pay per trolley. Ya, I never grocery-shop so much in Singapore! Anyway a whole trolley full of items cost less than SGD 30 dollars. Good bargin, great shopping. With our already-alot carriers and now even more grocery bags, our hands are all tied up. I couldnt stop giggling as we braved through the shopping crowds with our bags and bags of purchases. You were smart, found the counter in which we could deposit our bags. No wonder the whole of Shen Zhen probably treats us like locals. The most- HK citizens. We really shop like them. Anyway I wondered if the counter lady has a shock of her life seeing both of us. She had to use a string to tie up your bags, while put mine in one shelf. The! You bought a sausage and we left the mall, with me still giggling non stop.

[Edited]

Sudden food craving for
1. Birthday cake
2. Pork chop rice (saw over TV that there is a store in Singapore that sells that. wonder when that espiode will be aired)
3. Seafood chowder soup
4. Japanese food from Fraiser Suits (Near Great World City, along River Valley Road)
5. Chicken pasta from Cream Bistro (Next to Shaw House)

Ok maybe I will go have instant noodles later. Still have two big chucks for my thesis that is due on Tuesday. Erm as in the draft- of- all- draft thesis. The final thesis is due Year 2006 April.

Anyway for days that I am doing my thesis, I reckoned I have to resort to burying my phone amist my belongings and connect to the internet when necessary. Jus switched on my phone * smucks * Not that there are no more disruption but at least these are the two major time-wasters.

Thats the coin I found in the pockets of my peach- pink skirt. Two months since I am back from HK. I know its dumb, but man, this coin is going to stick with me. Wore the skirt and washed it several times and this coin wasnt lost. Lucky coin. Too bad it is not like a ring or something, so that I could string it up. *smucks*
Anyway I was watching TV and saw a crown-like ring. Remembered we were looking for it throughout Day 3 of our HK trip. Really wanted to get it. But guess everything's the past.

[Edited]

Spent today working on my thesis. Still reading new literatures at this time argh! Getting rather impatient. The reference list is now up to Number 88. Soon it will hit Number 100, I reckoned. Then what the other friends heard from my supervisor (that I have read 100 over literature) will turn true. Seriously need some help for my thesis. Argh!

Going back to school for project discussion tomorrow. Dont really mind that especially when I recognise that I could be rather unproductive over the weekends. And I also take it as a break from my thesis, which is good! Especially cant be bothered with those who tell me in their sms that "I pity you, still have to go back school on Satursday/ Sunday". Firstly, I dont pity myself especially when I have my weekdays free when you dont. Secondly, even if I dislike going back over the weekends, the- stubborn me would not admit that in front of you. Thirdly, I have recognised this is part of the undergraduate life, so please stop telling me all that to get me down. Anyway I am not angry over it. Jus find it weird to receive such text message. The!

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Can you ask about me? No I know you wouldnt.

~ Hk sharing
Supermart shopping is great in the sense that it comes with the trolley! Meaning that my hands and arms can rest for a while. Was "consolidating" my carriers by trying to squeeze more into one carrier and using tapes to secure them. We chunked our carriers under the trolleys and started to breeze through the shelves. Trying to
restrict my hands from picking those items from the shelves and putting down into my trolley. Money isnt too much of an issue here because things in Shen Zhen is relatively much cheaper. For instance a bowl of instant noodles that might cost around SGD 1 + in Singpaore only costs SGD 40, 50 cents here. Also, they have variety that we dont have, which is the super duper attractive part! Its more of the luggage problem. Also, how am I going to carry them back!?! Indeed, seeing so much stuff on the shelves, self- discipline is difficult!
For instance, a box of abalone pie costs around SGD 1. Argh! Sometimes I wondered if my maths is terribly bad, so I had to confirm with you every time. We even dragged a few packs of drinks! Heavy stuff! Dumb of us to not buy loads of chewing gums since they are barely heavy nor space-taking, as well as coming in unique flavour like coffee. Dumb dumb dumb! We even took shampoo! Heavy!

Morning is better! 

Ok thats my desk this morning... 

Exhausted- for doing nothing much besides being angry over myself. Was angry with myself as to why I can get angry over trival matters. Anyway its alright now. Dumb me. Anyway thanks for tolerating me, you know who you are.

Thursday has always been a more "exciting" day. Besides being the last official day of the week in which I have classes, I also get to see "Mr YY". Hence normally I brave myself for challenges at the end of the day. He didnt do anything other than remaining to be t-h-e Mr YY, which by the way is good enough. But I am those kind of character who has the pre-preconception of people. There are many people whom I thought very otherwise of them but I was proven wrong. But this case of Mr YY, save your breathe. No way! For instance, you are the best example. You changed my perception of you, totally. And MY too. You were right about MY, I was wrong. I always thought MY is a very arrogant person. But actually I guess its jus him. Working with him, I have since begin to see his intelligent, recognise his dilligent and appreciate his brotherly actions. Been taking the bus with him to SOC for the past two weeks and enjoyed talking to him.

One surprise for today was after I showered, a somehow-5-cent coin dropped from my peach- pink skirt. So I assumed its a 5-cent coin to realise it was probably 20-cent- coin from, Yes, HK! Anyway happens to have the Disney CD?!

Random list of people I cant stand
1. People who walked in front of me and acted as though they literally own the road. The. Especially a bunch of girls who would walk abreast to each other and block the whole walkway. Hence weekend shopping is generally avoided. The spoilt me who is used to weekday shopping and its induglence.
2. Pretenous people whom I categorize them as "evil woman". Those who obviously do not like you yet love to pretend they do. And those with angel face but lack of a proper set of moral values.
3. Inconsiderate people

Random reasons why people cant stand me
1. People who think I am arrogant. And I am too lazy to defend nor change. Status quo.
2. People who think I always think I am right.
3. People who think I am too emotional.
4. People who simply doesnt like me.

Random list of people who I simply love
1. Simple people. Those super duper clean and clear. Someone like adidas.
2. Patient people, because I can be rather impatient.
3. Brotherly or sisterly people, because I am always like the little girl who needs help/ protection/ care.
4. Dilligent people. I am dilligent in my work but lazy in other areas. THE!5. Either dilligent or intelligent people (not those textbook-smart but those street-smart). Best if they come together.
6. I used to think I will like engineers. As in fall-in-love with them. Because I am too illogical (in areas other than work), too emotional and too business-like. So in the end I think maybe someone with the same frequency works better. Someone like adidas.
7. My family, my friends.

Saw justin on Tuesday, as well as Irvin and Pei Thung and Daud. Haha! In the same marketing project group. Irvin and Pei Thung are mates from college while Daud is from my secondary school. Such an coincidence. Anyway of course they didnt know that all of them knew me till I bumped into them.

Very unmotivated day. Been avoiding my thesis.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Dont feel like talking to you yesterday.

HK Sharing
At Meters Bonwe, I sure tried on a couple of jeans of different designs as well as from the same design. Dont know why, it seems like this time round S is too small for me but M is too big for me. Rather disappointed, but I got myself a working pants. You bought 4 to 5 tee. See, I wasnt wrong. Its such a hot brand for me! Love it. Anyway of course I didnt expect to bump into MB in Shen Zhen since on their website, they didnt list that they have a store there. But its a great surprise and I am so looking forward to going there again. This time round, with a whole group of girl friends hopefully! Anyway we converse in English half the time and often get sales personnel asking us where we are from. And of course when I borrowed their calculator, trying to convert the RMB to SDG, they would ask me that question too. We left the clothing department and decided next stop is the supermart!

Today is one day when I woke up feeling passion-less, motivation-less and tiredness. I think its mainly the thesis. The new framework. And you. I cant remembered when was the time when I went to bed feeling
slightly angry and very upset as I recalled the happenings from early this week.

I wrote a mini- proposal- like thingy to my supervisor, hoping she will approve it.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Sometimes I am so hurt that I wish I have nothing to do with you. As if I can.

HK sharing

After the spree of working pants, we went to the next level with more to embrace. Time is tight. We probably had already spend 2, 3 hours there already and still stuck at level 3 or something. So you said we have to sped up. Went around looking at shoes, but ended up pulling 2 pairs of S&K $20-yet-high-quality jeans of the same design (jus different in colour), 2 tees from LIP zone, 1 from Robinhood, 1 from Baleno to the counters. Was trying super duper long at this brand (forget what it is already) but in the end didnt get that pants. The! But you still pulled off a couple of tees for your friends. We got so confused with the to-pay-recepits, dont-want-purchases and the to-be-redeem purchases and vochers!! But girls remained to be the more organized gender I concluded. Anyway we really didnt even have much time to think or try, jus spot, try it, think for one to two
minutes and decide. Anyway the people over there are pretty erm different. One example is when I was in Gio trying jeans and came out of the changing room to ask for your opinion, the other lady jus went into the changing room, locking me out of it. The! So I was smarter the second time. I went into people's changing room too! But I was more civilised. I asked for permission and remembered to take my belongings with me everywhere I went. And so when we paid, we were in a mess. Recepits, vochers, yet-to-redeem recepits. Once again we probably invited much laughters from the cashiers. So we went up to the Sports section. Prices there were steep. Think they werent involved in the promotion thingy (by the way, the promotion is something like - Spend $100 and get $50 voucher free. Super duper excellent way to increase sales!!!). So we thought we would leave. And it was jus a thought. You spotted leather wallets and while we were about to leave, we spotted Meters Bonwe! My favourite!! And I reckoned it must be yours too!

Totally long day. But its quite bad since I am deprived of sleep and so throughout the day my eyes could barely open, and my ears kept hearing those sharp weird noises. And yes thats me when I am stressed. I think I am too stressed to know that I am stressed, so my body is responding instead. Either that or I am too dumb to feel any stress. Anyway I am alright. Jus need some time to sleep and much work for my thesis. This time round, they are due on 20th Septe while I am meeting supervisor on 22th September.

Anyway since it is you who gave me some morning excitement and kill them off with more disappointment and hurt, so why bother right.

~ HK Sharing
The real hype in shopping at Shen Zhen started when we went to the next level and you realised how cheap the pants are. Yes, we went through almost the whole of that level, looking through stacks and ranks of pants. The first time did I realise that even black or blue working pants can come in so many different designs. You sure have a great time trying leisurely while I sat there nodding and shaking my head. Anyway the cashier would have recognised us by the time she is off her shift work. Oh and the service level there is super duper high. Yes, HIGH. They serve you with smiles, greetings and will. Throw in free and fast alteration. Fast meaning within 10, 15 minutes. How good. The only thing you cant get over there is long sleeves working shirt. Yes. We reckoned that because it must be real hot there, people are so used to wearing short sleeves shirt that they really dont have much to choose from. Oh and because we had to go back to collect your pants, we hardly could remember from where did we get them. So ended up either trying hard to recall the face of the salesgirl or keep walking past them till they recognise us! Super duper!

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
No wonder people says the Earth is round. Because I am so nice to you and you are so nice to it.

[Edited]

I looked away from the papers and turned my attention to the time displayed on my phone. It should be time.

I turned back, staring at the papers though I focus on listening to the sounds of vehicles.

I looked up and saw it. Yes, I will regard it as the it. Actually it didnt take my share away, but I still regared it as a unforgiveable target of remote rival. Yes, the remote rival.

I looked at it breeze through the air. I saw nothing that could match with what I know of it. But I know it is the fake pretence. The fake pretence that it wants to show to the world. Or maybe, it is the fake pretence our society demands, such that the outliners will remain integrated as part of the norms of society.

As much as so, I remained numbly hurt. Hurt that regardless of what effort I put in, they are void. As like the saying, I throw a whole plate of spaghetti onto the wall and hope that some will stick to it.

It is the fault of no one but the tickering heart. It is the responsibility of no one but the freedom self. It is the consequences of no one but everyone.

Yet, it was the chasing of the fake pretence that see me losing the proximity of you. I thought, I let myself down this again today.

~ You said that I am a good writer, one that writes good fairy tales. I know its a joke. Especially looking at how I live in all the beautiful fairy tales I weaved.

A morning walk through the campus evoked much thoughts in me. I saw Prof came in. Looked at the time and thought it might have been a lighter semester for her. She normally comes in pretty early back then. Still in her favourite red belt and red bag. Her hair looks much more "normal". She now carries a briefcase, something I dont remember her using it in the past. She walked through the canteen but I reckoned she will walk back this way. *smucks* and I was right. I know she went over to get a drink and on her way to her office. Anyway she remembers me! Its a happy day knowing that she still remembers me. She stopped by and asked if I am graduating, if I am doing thesis and what topic etc. Its like another round of thesis questioning, the second of the day. I have another round tomorrow. I wondered how strong can I get.

I remembered you told me. You said that, I have to be strong, otherwise how can I be there for you.

And of course I saw another of our dearest Prof. After so much, we even managed a A-, and of course she has since becomes our dearest.

I missed the past. I was so near to you today but I ran in the wrong direction.

I missed the past, with you.

If the future has you, I know I will not miss the past.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
I will be strong.

I reckoned I am the little sleeping volcano. One that lives peacefully for most period of time, highly regarded to be a inactive one. But you caused me to erupt. No, I wasnt angry, to much contrary again. I was jus bottling up my sadness. And when the bad emotions get stirred up, it is like a leaking volcano. One that erupts mercilessly.

You are the cause of the erupt. Yet you are the cure of all erupt. Life is always full of ironic. And of course in this case I am the ironic.

It wasnt in your knowledge that by doing nothing you have caused bad emotions to pile up in me. Even when you are my cure, you have still not know what is the cause of it. Then the only conclusion I can give is that it wasnt important. And I, am the-it.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
If you are the cause and cure of this disappointment, am I supposed to be sad or happy.

HK sharing
Entering into the shopping mall, neither of us was very energetic. We didnt expect much of this mall, especially with the not-very-nicely-decorated environment. Anyway its way too early in the morning considering how much we shopped and walked the day before, the shopping mood hadnt quite sank in. But sure wait and see. We ended up in the Done-in-3-steps mode - Spot, try and pay.

I ended up picking a super-duper-pink tee for myself and something for my mum. I think you already know what my mum likes. She likes anything in plain colours. She likes round neck type (not the V-neck). She likes simple or no designs. She doesnt like collar. She doesnt mind sleeves or without it. She doesnt like colours such as - white, dark colours, black. She likes colours such as - pale yellow, cream, pale blue. What a list! Anyone who has gone shopping with me if I am shopping for stuff for my mum will somehow know of this. But I guess you are real quick at it already. I choose one that is round neck, pale cream with simple leaves design. You assume me mum will like it. We jus go round shopping for things for ourselves, and for our family. I guess I always like it when people are thoughtful towards their family. Not jus in this way.

Oh and we had a super duper time trying to understand how the advertised discounts work. Till now, frankly speaking, I dont know how to interprete when they have things like "3.8%". I dont think they think it in our way. Anyway its super duper weird. You dont know either, so we had to ask the salesgirl each time we want to know the net price we are paying.

My 21st - 22nd Birthday wishes
1. Nice hair ~ Like my hair now, with all the rebonding and cutting done in Wave Salon. Will be nice if it is slightly shorter by erm 3cm.
2. Holiday ~ HK, been there done that.
3. RS ~ As per usual.
4. Honors/ job ~ Honors
5. Investment of savings ~ Erm pretty clueless still.
6. Good results ~ Dean List for one. Will try harder.
7. Good friends ~ Ya, you know who you are.
8. Good family ~ Ya.
9. Nice room design ~ Nice with my Hello- Kitty- on- the- wall and HK stuff.
10. Nice watch ~ Lasy year 21st birthday that one?
11. Suit ~ Got one.

Contrary to much belief, I have turned 22 like any other day. The hype of my birthday merely exists in my mobile when I received text messages. Other than that, it was jus another single's weekend.

365 days and 23.5 hours
I was reading some library books regarding work- life balance and organisational issues. Sneaked off to eat the fruit cake my aunt baked specially for us. Remembered clearly that I was doing homework and reading 8days a year ago when I turned 21. Woke up late that morning, laze around in the house, knew that you wouldnt be coming later and started to feel sad, went to law library to do some work, went for Business Policy and Strategy group discussion without you, went for Business Policy and Strategy lessons, replying text messages
throughout the class with my mobile threatening to go flat, waited for dad to come fetch me home, went home and before I could do much make-up, the stream of friends never stop. And like the blueberry cake! The very same cake I had when I was 1 years old. Food was nice too. But guess the nicest bit was having a house packed with everyone who is here for you. It was days later did I receive the first card from you. The one without my name.

10 September 05
After working on my thesis till almost 2, I watched half an hour of the taped Korean Ghost Movie. Slept till 11 plus this morning. Gave myself a great shower - fussion of apple, pineapple and strawberry! Smell nice. Had lunch and finished with the Korea ghost movie. Korea's drama is really slow paced, even for their ghost movie! I am so timid and I think it is not too frightening. Its more of a preconception that all ghost movies will be frightening. Took me a long while to understand the story. Got back to more notes before watching TV over dinner again. Grandmother bought us two bottles of nail polish. I choose the milky pink and used it for my nails. Used to play around with it for I dont like my toe nails that will turn purplish when cold. Anyway applied on my finger nails too. Rather done that because I dont really like weird colours on my nails. But this milky pink hardly looks like nail polish. Jus looked like healthy nails so I thought I would pamper myself for once. Slept around 10.30pm.

11 September 05
Its amazing how sometimes I could go to bed early in the night, while other times I hang on till 1, 2 plus am. Anyway I woke up at 4.30am and yes here I am.

Thanks to all my dearest friends and their birthday greetings. In the order of the greetings that reached me...
AM (he is leaving for his holiday and so he called me up a week ago. was totally surprised that he remembers. super duper touched. anyway if you dont know, he's my college tutor.), aunt (who came by with her freshly baked fruit cake for us), my parents (thanks for the red packet- hadnt open yet, no time), sister, grandmother(thanks for the red packet- hadnt open yet, no time), uncle jeff (drooling over the little gift you bought from Tokyo. faster meet us!), andy (thanks for the surprise and pink keychain, it looks really delicious though i cant eat it), hui xian (thanks for remembering despite having a busy and not-so-good week), Huishan (thanks), Lihui (thanks... and yes today is the not-so-big-day-for-a-small-girl. and i like "long live sy"), john (thanks, and yes I will try to be happy even though i am spending it alone today), andy (thanks for the text message again.
touched).

Yes and yes I have turned 22 years old.

There is no - if there is one thing I want to tell you today -
HK sharing will resume tomorrow.

Suddenly came to me that I once described to someone that love is like a t-shirt.

You like the design of a shirt. You should buy a S size but They only have XS size. You tried it in the fitting room. It is a bit too tight. You came out, thinking if to get it. Your heart keeps thinking about it, so you decided to get it. After wearing a few times, you thought you really dont look good in it. Plus it is not that comfortable, a bit too tight.

Love is like the t-shirt.

You like the design but it doesnt comes in the size that fits you. Either you lose weight or stop wearing it. But at times, no matter how hard you try, you still couldnt lose much weight. Yet other times, by the time you lose weight, you realise you no longer like the t-shirt anymore.

Love is like the t-shirt.

Love doesnt come and go jus because you like it. Sometimes you try really hard, but you cannot be together. Other times, love stops growing.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
How long must it takes for me to know.

How could there be someone else
You took up enough of the thinking space

How do you believe there was someone else
You didn’t, that’s why you said it one more time

Even when you don’t believe there could be someone else
How can I believe that I could have someone else

How can it be so calm in talking of this potential someone else
I know you wouldn’t ask, so I wouldn’t say too

How can it be so easy for a someone else
You said its not all that hard to move on

The writer’s note
I thought I would leave at least a thinking trace. To think that I left everything unscathed.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
You still dont know.

Latest news - Meeting with supervisor on 13 september 2005 Tuesday 10am. Predictions - No breakfast, skip lunch, hid in library, 5pm's GSM project discussion is going to be tough. Erm. Scared. Now busy, trying to touch up and start emailing her my stuff.

Backing up my literature and working files for honors thesis...

Woke up and feeling aimless. Maybe because much stuff for my thesis is being done and I need more guidance to continue! But JE is right. Must remember that my supervisor and everyone are there to help me. *smucks* Wise words to a crybaby.

Anyway yesterday's feeling of displacement is a weird thing. I dont even know if its gone. But I woke up feeling sick. And woke up to you. You are back.

Probably read some more thesis stuff, do some more textbook reading (argh) and erm whats not.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
In my world, you are never back.

~ HK sharing (forget that I forgot to write about HK sharing yesterday, but guess no one noticed it)
Along the way, we saw Walmart. You got excited because you said you never been inside a Walmart before. Me too. You said if there is time, we would go over there. Plus, you wanted to take a photo with that Walmart sign. In the end, we had too much on hand, too little time so that place and that picture will remain as per something we hadnt achieve. But maybe memories would never be enough unless it is ongoing. So what is one more and what is one less. Of course, I would always want more.

Anyway when it stopped at the 6th bus stop, we were excited. Think we saw the sign DONG MENG or something. Oh and the bus has this speaker that will tell you at which stop you are at. So its quite easy.
We got off. You told me to finish my water. I finished it. Looked rather lost. Then decided to cross the bridge. So went into this normal looking building. Didnt even get to see how the building looks like since we went in straight to the second/ third floor.

The-me who is rushing for noon lessons. 

Felt rather displaced today. Of no apparent reason. Ok maybe I jus wanted to deny.

Anyway I have since recovered from the surprise email my supervisor send me last night. Instead, I now wish she will see me tomorrow! Yes tomorrow. The reason being, I have done much (though can do abit here, abit there somemore) and reckoned that I will be rather free next week since there is jus a couple of pending project discussions. And each time after meeting her, I would have loads of work to do. With no plans for saturday, I wish I can meet her tomorrow!!! Yes, so the dumb-me is waiting for her reply. *pray hard* Otherwise the Plan-B of Saturday will be - jog, sleep, hang around in the house, watch repeated Zhen Qing, watch 7pm show, feel guilty for doing nothing for the whole day and start to read 2 pages of my notes, sleep. Yes all in that order. Pathetic, dull and hopeless.

Met SM for dinner tonight. Working life can be so interesting - with no homework. But I reckoned that the single-me (if using the projecting- of- future- cashflow from current earnings' potential, I probably be still single as of 1 year from now) would be bored with homework. Hence I concluded, homework (including thesis) is my boyfriend. Great, he asks me out everyday, he is always with me, he is the last person I talk to before going to bed...

Anyway, I enjoyed today's GSM class also. Though I was really tired such that I think I can barely open my eyes. But the presentations are interesting. And after 6 weeks in school and 5 GSM classes, I didnt know we have a Korean guy in our class. As in I dont know. I never seen Koreans in person. They are always the people in TV. The glamous guys in suits and gel hair; the weak-and-puppy-looking girls who cant stop crying. Totally agree that sometimes they stare at each other too long that there is hardly any conversation in 5 minutes of airtime. But I still like it. Like the scenery, the food, the nice people (Yuan Bin is the first and almost always favourite), the tragic storyplot and romantic theme songs. Anyway the Korean guy is Min Kyung Seok. He is tall, jus like all other korean guys in TV. He speaks slowly but super duper fluent English. THE! I think I am living in my own world. I dont even know who is in my class! And the thing about guys is that I get attracted to their intelligence, not looks. Yes of course I will give them a second glare if they are handsome, but intelligent guys make me want to know them more. I have worked with people from different nationalities in project work, including Vietnam, Mauritius, China, US, Europe (yes not Norway, its Europe). Have classmates from HK (though she is the super duper homework kind who doesnt shop. what a pity), Norway, Germany... But I have never worked with people from Japan or Korea. I thought they belong to a rather enclosed culture until recently. But listening to him explain about Samsung (korean brand), I am attracted to him. I can sit there quietly and listen without falling asleep. I wonder if I would to go on an exchange/ any overseas assignments (if possible), would I be able to talk about SIA or Hyflux in that same way. Ya, so maybe that is why I got attracted to this MKS. How to pronouce ar? Anyway when other members of his group speak, I was wondering if he uses MSN, if he eats Chinese food with chopsticks and if he likes our local TV. Jus like if I would to go to Korea, I would like their food (looking at how crazy I am with their instant noodles), I would like their scenary and their TV drama.

Still waiting for my supervisor to reply.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Maybe I am inapparently all displaced.

I probably be rather busy tomorrow so probably I can allow myself one more blog before I leave my computer?

Talking to Zen on msn. Which is cool. Because it had been quite some time since we last talked. Busy busy. He said he saw me with erm-you-know-who at suntec last month. Which came as quite a surprise. Not only because I didnt see him but also because I suddenly forget that I was at suntec. Suntec basement. Suddenly I
thought I wanted to cry. Because it must be one of the last few times I saw you. And yes, thats pretty much what I wanted to say.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
It can be so long a period, so hard to ignore, so deep to remove, so easy to be hurt and so memorable to move on.

Took this photo when grandmother went to Europe. She is back, staying over at our place for a few days. She remembered I took loads of photos for her and asked if she could see it. Shucks. I didnt even remember that. Feel bad.  

Big news. My supervisor is back. Rather, she is back!!! Was shocked when I saw her email. Opened it and she said she is back in town, asking me how are things and she is looking forward to meeting me next week. Great. I was feeling relieved after handing in my 4 pages Thesis thingy this morning and was thinking that I could get by these few days pretty free. Even though of a birthday lunch with my friends, a birthday dinner with my family and throw in a mini- shopping spree. Was even thinking that I should dress up more these few days. Now the stress came back. Not that she is scary. In fact, she is really a nice lady. Jus that when she is away, I feel so "free", taking my time to do my work. Something like when the king is away, all the servants are happy. Now that she is back, I will feel the heat again! And the procedure is, few days before each meeting, I would email her all the stuff that I have done, update her on my progress. Then when we meet, she would point out stuff that she doesnt understand, things that she thought I should improve on, things that she thought I can look into. All these add up to work, stress and sudden dumping of all emotions. Each time I walked out from her office, I would feel (1) stressed and ended up crying in the library, (2) relieved because the next meeting will be days or weeks later and (3) depressed. Oh and we would arrange for the next meeting day. But of course, it also means that she is concerned about me and I love that. Love concerns and attention.

Anyway another surprise was a gift from ND. Went into the LT, sat down and he was passing me the keychain he bought. Thanks! And yap, its pink in colour (though it looks like orange in colour from the side)! *smucks*
Thats the keychain from ND. Like it because (1) its a keychain (2) its pink in colour and (3) its customized, i.e. no one will have something like that *smucks*

Talking about gifts I like. Actually they are all trivial stuff that probably wouldnt cost much. I think gifts come in two forms. One, the expensive stuff the receiver will like. Two, very sincere stuff that the receiver would like, if the receiver is me.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
Thinking about you.

~ HK sharing
Continued with the Shen Zhen trip. Dumb me, its almost 2 months since I am back and I am still rattling her. But another reason is because I have been too lazy and busy to write it all at once, unlike when I went to China
While after breakfast, we went around the building. Except the eataries, the other shops are not opened yet. But we were rather shocked when we saw that prices there were as steep as those in HK. So we reckoned that probably if we go further, prices will drop.

Decided to take a cab to this place called Dong Meng. Erm your friend said that we can get much stuff there. Thought that since we saw that 5-star hotel and thought it would be safe to call for a cab there. So decided to walk towards that building. Erm as we walked along, on our right, there are many buses. Mini buses. I didnt think much of it, because I wasnt "warmed" up yet. Jus thought I was really dragging my feet and body. You wanted to go there and take a look so I followed. Then saw the words "Dong Meng" on the bus. Woo! Following the breakfast, this is the second excitement of the day. So went around searching the ticket booth. Because both of us thought that we have to buy the tickets from some booth before taking the bus. So when we saw this guy sitting under a big umbrella behind a table, we thought he should be the one. Went over but dont know what is it meant for. Finally followed the rest and boarded the bus. Erm ok pay as you board the bus, jus that there is someone to collect from you, rather than throwing money down the bin. So we sat down and looked blended into the environment. We dont look like tourists. Which I think makes the biggest differences as to why we dont have horror stories to tell. Anyway I reckoned there is this guy who kept staring at us. Was quite bothered, but didnt point it out. Jus acted normal. Anyway when the bus was about to start, you went over (after much coaxing) to look at the map. Dong Meng was the 5th stop.....

Ok thats me today. Took a photo with my Hello-kitty-on-the-way before I left for morning classes.