Life, in general
For patience, determination and courage, the race is long and for things will get better.

Family
For spending more time at home as well, I am thankful and appreciative of the care and companionship that my family has given me.

And all the fun while cooking and eating, watching never-ending tv dramas, rumbling in korean, gardening and msn-ing.

Munich and GAP
I fell in love with the mountains, blue skies and clouds (and wheat beer) this year, and of course I still love taking the trains and going on trips alone.

I supposed I will continue to discover more of those that I will fall in love with as I continue to explore the bigger world out there. Beyond the skies and sea, beyond the cities.

List of travel hopes
The list gets longer and I am sure one day I will tick them one by one- Vietnam, Norway and Sweden, St Ives, Brittany...

The most northern post office, the fishing villages, the cliff + coast.

Sports and swimming
I love the fact that it is something I look forward to.

Sometimes I imagined myself in the lavender fields, sometimes I imagined myself jumping off the cliff for a swim, sometimes I imagine myself living in Paris.

Sometimes I feel as if swimming is a routine and I lose motivation doing it weeks after weeks. But when I adjust my pace, everything is back in place again. And most of the time the icy waters (or the sunshine) perk me up, the depth of water calms me down, and I look forward to the blue sky beyond the windows.

More importantly if you kick the waters hard enough, you wouldn't notice it is a rainy day. Which is rather representative of the past year- stop the discouragement, crying or whining but live bravely.

It's definitely not true that you will always feel better by talking things through.

Friends + life lessons
There will always be people who know how to reach you, such as calling your land line- when they want something from you.

Most friendships are transitional, and they come with expiry dates. Sometimes it's safe to go beyond that date, other times it's best to leave at the peak. And (most of the time), I believe that you can't save a glass of milk that has already turned sour- there is always the aftertaste. Just learn to cope with it and move on.

For again if it has been so important in the first place, it wouldn't have a chance for all that.

etc
1. Believe, be patient and be brave.
2. There is always a pace suitable for you- you need not run to catch up with those who left you behind.
3. Treat people with sincerity but always expect not to get anything back.
4. If you stop being curious and stop asking questions, things normally get easier.
5. If you lose something, think of those times when you never had it.
6. Always remember the reasons for making a decision- so that you will not have regrets after that.
7. Get off the stage without the encores- if you know that is the end.
8. The blood type is not important- a wrong is always a wrong.

For 2010 + more
For all the things I want to do- to be able to wish for them to come true:
1. The B
2. The P or the C
3. Travel (alone + with the family)

She's from GAP and even though three-quarters of it's in german, she's going to be my favourite card till date.

So frohn Weihnachten und ain guies neues Jahr. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Pasta, turkey bacon, sausages, ham, potatoes and tomatoes, cheese cake with apple champagne- our christmas meals!

Feliz navidad

What is Christmas without some fun

The thing that I irk about festival seasons is how while business want to cash in, they are more often than not finding themselves unable to cope with the situation. I had no choice but to step into, and got myself stuck in the queue, a mall (to renew my membership card) but until the crowd disperses I wouldnt be in one. I appreciate the fact that I didnt have to get christmas presents- hopefully it stays this way. I suppose it is also attributable to the fact that we didnt have ski resorts, mountains and lakes to turn to and so everyone is either stuck in the traffic trying to get to the malls or choking up the malls.

And the lights remind me of either the dragon boat festival or a bowl of mee hoon and pink/blue fishballs.

It would have changed, wouldn't it, like most things. But because it has changed and I feel that it has changed, it was distasteful. Maybe it is supposed to be whatever it is now. So I was the one out of place.

Let it be whatever it wants to be.

*

Let's hope that next year will be a year that I can start making wishes that I truly can wish for.

And so it's, the 9 days of leave, over.

What else to look forward to than the pool.

Day 3 of my 1-week break:

Do we never bother explaining ourselves till one day the accumulated become too much to even start. I think so. Because until then there really isnt a choice but witness the distant.

Do we leave at the peak since everything else will not be as beautiful already. I think so. Because it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Do we fail to find the root of the problem like how you cannot find the ends of the rope bundled together. I think so. Because maybe we did not want to know either.

*

I didnt really stick to the plan but there is always a marathon in life for me- instead of running in between of breathes, I did a mini Tv marathon.

What's never enough, like how oxygen is to us, like how holiday is to us, like how freedom is to us.

Day 4 of my 1-week break:
What a lazy day. I woke up late and I kept falling back to sleep.

I really need to get back to the pool, for my body is feeling the effects of going without the swims.
The demise of.

Day 5 of my 1-week break:

All thanks to my sister, we managed to score well in our 4-hour mango shopping which involved going through two bags full of selections, queuing for changing rooms three times, sitting under racks of clothings to rationalize but found ourselves hit in the face by shopping bags and clothing tags.

Fun but with all the anticipation it comes with the drawing of curtains.

Day 6 of my 1-week break:

I actually felt legathic. Other than lunch and nap, I hardly did anything.

I think I need a break, not jus a break from the routinues but a break from the current. Yet at the same time I dont have a solution to it.

Even though I try not to say, it doesnt mean I am not aware of it, nor I am unaffected by it. Silence jus means that I dont have solutions to it and all I can do is disregard those acts.

I jus hope that my parents will be able to accept whatever happens and not allow them affect their health. Thats my biggest worry.

*

Its been a while that I will wait patiently till the end of the week to know how everything is.

*

The lasting of a relationship of any kind, or the nature of the relationship has no bearing on the strength and essence of it.

Day 7 of my 1-week break:

There is no need actually, for it is apparent we are on the paths towards divergence. Maybe we hardly could find the past in ourselves and that it isnt important either, I dont think I want to see how far it can go. Not anymore. But maybe not? It doesnt matter. The only conversation that is easy has to be holiday.

For even if one day I will fly, we will not be soaring in the same piece of sky.

I cannot decide between postcard-blue or cotton-candy-blue skies. But never mind, until I get my supplies of blue paper.

I dont feel Monday today.

Day 8 of my 1-week break:
It's Spring Cleaning day; that you will see the little cute handkerchiefs that used to be fold into fours and slipped into the uniform pockets; the little doll dresses and the expensive-but-then-popular Roxy tee.

*

And, I have found those short trips to go to; for Brittany/Aarrodon and Saint Ives to get the dosage of fishing villages and cliffs and coasts.

Even though the places have yet to be identified, the plan is to have lakes and mountains, cliffs and coasts, and agriculture/plantations in them.

Be well, be there. Soon.

Day 9 of my 1-week break:

I am determined to do all the things that I always wanted more time for. Though from the plan it doesnt seem like much but surfing/researching, reading, drawing are what I want to do other than the walking stuff that I will soon be doing (shopping, travelling, sports).

Gone for my last weekend class for the year, and the doctor. Which saw me spending almost 2 hours in buses. And almost the same time trying to fix the wireless connection at home. 2 hours sound like enough to make day trip.

I left this on my desk

If it is a week of retirement I have not plan so. But lets try now:

12 Dec: Class + Doctor

13 Dec: Spring cleaning

14 Dec: Spillover + be lazy + help around the house

15 Dec: Read + be lazy + help around

16 Dec: Out of the house!

17 Dec: Life planning and brainstorming

18 Dec: Read + be lazy + help around

19 Dec: Draw + help around

20 Dec: Read + help around + pack for the week

This doesnt mean much to me but I will jus have this here as part of my writing:

People have their views from what I perceived. There were times when I tried to find out which of the perceived truths is the truth but the truth is the truth wouldnt make a difference now.

The only common characteristics of those walking along a straight lines and those circling is that they share a common starting dot. But other than that, the straight lines will not meet the circles again.

Goodbye is hard to say because in the first place they should not have been said but to be acted upon.

To act upon kindness until kindness runs out of patience.

Its something like planning for retirement, jus that it isnt retirement but a week's leave.

I hadnt thought of what to do but I went ahead for a week, which after adding in the two weekends, I will be away for 9 days.

I have to make provisions for getting my swims.

You know it is december when

- for once you find the temperature in the office appropriate for the season
- you have umbrella fights with your colleague (read: not fight for the use of the umbrella but rather something like sword-fighting using umbrellas)

To not run out of patience because when it pays off its known to be something bigger, something like determination and perseverance.

But the patience is only for ourselves.

I am waiting.

The only person who have accepted the dream readily would have probably been the one whom had played some part in influencing that. Everything ceased (and can continue to) but as long as the dream is still alive.

People almost always never come to know the root of the problem and even when they do, granted the situation would not have been the same anymore.

*

Its not that difficult especially if you aren't bothered.

I cant decide whether to have the plain white background or this bubble-white strip on pink-strips wallpaper.

Maybe I will leave it till navidad (Christmas)...

I want to go back to the basic-

because my wildest dream is, if I dont belong to any family unit, to uproot and live in a new land for everything goes back to the beginning.

In fact, to keep doing that until I make a choice not to.

Didnt we start off living as nomadic too

Maybe some will argue that this is the most unrealistic way of living and the biggest form of life escape, but this is also the easiest way to keep moving forward and keep life fresh with all the challenges.

Because there would be no background, no complications, no entangles. For I would be known for who I am at the moment.

Of course if there are in fact things holding one back there is no way this will work. But precisely this works because there is nothing so important if there is no family unit/kinship.

This idea came about a couple of years ago and grew wider each time I feel stuck.

Its growing in me

I hardly talk about this wild dream because it is not something that most people understood (in fact I probably think no one would). But its high time I talk about this in here.

The thing about the hotel stay that I like best is, other than the nice toilet which I hardly spent time in other than two very brief showers, when I buddled myself up with the huge thick pool towel and took the lift back up to the room in the semi-wet suit dripping water.

The only way to get away from the exhaustion from life is to be exhausted from swimming. It works for me, again today.

Sometimes we might wonder what's the rationale of a decision made. Its easy to lose our ways, its easy to forget what we thought through, its easy to want to change our minds again. Maybe this is from listening to:

我怀念的 By 孙燕姿
我问为什麼　那女孩传简讯给我而你为什麼　
不解释 低著头沉默
我该相信你很爱我　不愿意敷衍我
还是明白你已不想挽回什么
*想问为什麼　我不再是你的快乐
可是为什麼　却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖著把爱都走曲折
假装了解是怕　真相太赤裸裸
狼狈比失去难受
＃我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以後
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空　最紧的右手
最暖的胸口
(谁记得)　谁忘了
Repeat ＊,＃
我怀念的是无言感动
我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动
求我原谅抱得我都痛
我记得你在背後
我记得我颤抖著
记得感觉汹涌
最美的烟火　最长的相拥
谁爱的太自由
谁过头太远了
谁要走我的心
谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走
谁忘了看着我
谁让爱变沉重
谁忘了要给你温柔
(我怀念的) 我还有想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日　也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最紧的右手　最暖的胸口
我放手　我让座　假洒脱
谁懂我多麼不舍得
太爱了　所以我
没有哭　没有说

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
When people talked about "good", I am sure there are things better than good.

And the tiffany-blue envelope reached Australia.