Next week's episode will see Mizuho moving out from the apartment and while he knows Mizuho's feelings, all he did was if they could be like before. At least he didnt avoid or give up the friendship. But all Mizuho said was, they would be forever friends...

If you were him, would you have done the same thing? I wish I had the courage to be Mizuho...

Its been a couple days since I last worked on Amber White. Not as though I didnt want to. Not as though I really couldnt find the time.. but just didnt have that feeling. Will work on it soon since someone commented "nice job". Put a smile on me.

Went hereen today. Was looking at necklaces, but didnt get any. Later went over to Lavender to get my passport photos replaced.
Kind of tired.. so came home, had dinner and went to bed. But awake few hours later to do some stuff..

Tired and sleepy from my JB trip today.. Its been almost 9, 10 years since I have ever been to Msia. If you have that surprised look on your face, I understand why.

Saw Aik Kai, though he didnt see me since my friend and I are ahead of him..

Will write more about today, but now feeling exhausted. Yet a little happy too. And my favourite show is on later at 11pm. Today's episode sees Mizuho telling the viewers that she actually like him. Already say why I like this show so much. If only I am like Mizuho, where a rosy future is in store for her..

Went marketing with my grandma this morning. The wet market is really a bustling place, a place in the neighbourhood that is full of life. Especially in a older estate. But at the same time, the idea of growing old, or growing old alone looms over my head.. Kinda of scared of it though it is a stage of life that we will reach somehow. Get to know more of the lifestyle my grandma is leading.. I feel that its something I should do more when I am able to do so..

Should be meeting my friend tomorrow at noon.. aiya my dear friend piggy didnt say she is free..

Oh saw this local writer who write and publish his "wu xia xiao shuo", chinese novel.. To me, I feel that besides being really luckly to be able to do so, he is brave to lead the kind of lifestyle that he desires. Not everyone can afford to do so, neither can all pluck up the courage to do so. Its not an
easy stuff. Though I dont read chinese books that often already (glad that he has intention to write english novels too), but might be looking for his book in the bookstores.

Guys like to ask why girls love receiving flowers, something with a short life? :) I guess the same question can apply to soft toys etc But i thought, basically isit nice to have flowers occasionally, though anything done with love and sincerity is really good enough for us... dont u agree...

Went queensway shopping centre with my parents.. Bought a pair of nike casual shoe. If there is anything you need from there, now is a good time to buy.

Lonely deep inside...

Thinking of what songs I want to listen, my friend going to burn in a cd for me :) So interesting to hear how work is like in that company..

And finally gotten stuff out... The writer's note, and chapter one is officially send to my friends. Hope they let me know if they like, or they dont like the story.

Hmm..

From June 2004, you will be able to enjoy some changes in the types of food at The Deck as follows :
1.Fish and Seafood Noodles/ Rice Stall
2. Fried Kway Teow Stall which will also be serving fried carrot cakes, fried oyster and fried beef noodles
3. Authentic Szechuan Noodles Stall serving Dan Dan noodles, Braised Beef noodles etc
4. New Japanese Cuisine Stall serving Udon, Soba besides the usual Japanese set meals
5. New Chicken & Duck Rice/ Noodles Stall which will be serving roasted and char siew meat as well
6. New Sandwich and Salad stall serving a wider range of sandwiches and salads
7. New Halal Noodles Stall serving a range of Chinese Styled noodles
8. New Snack Stall serving the usual breakfast stuff as well as some Prema Deli products
9. New Chinese Cooked Food stall
10. New Vegetarian Cooked Food stall
11. New Muslim Cooked Food stall
12. New Indian Cooked Food stall

Not as though I am very concerned about food because ususally as long as the food on my plate arent all brown (which I wouldnt eat), I am okies with it. My friends thought I was a vegertarian you see, since I eat mostly vegetables and green stuff. But food at Arts is quite a thing to note. Coz I love the shuai jiao noodles, the western food stall and lately the vegetarian stall! Especially the first two, I always couldnt decide which to pick :) Hmmm it seems that there are nine new stores huh. Do they mean new when they said new?

Fried oyster & Japanese udon sounds good, though I dont care about whatever chinese styled or szechuan noodles you are going to serve. Jus let me have my favourite shuai jiao noodles and I am absoutely fine. Another store that sells really lovely shuai jiao noodles would have to be the store in Clementi. Even my friend in Rowell/ Bugis knows the store.

And I still believe the old things are better. Maybe because I am more emotional and more attached to the old stuff... Plus I think that when there is nothing really wrong, why change it? Jus leave things the way they are. Simplicity is also a pleasure in life.

And... another thing I am really into is steamboat. Its been like the food for me since Jan this year? Dont ask me Y for likes and dislikes are purely based on feelings. Dad kept saying he is going to get the steamboat thingy so that we can have it at home, but hadnt! Must get him to buy! And the semi-steamboat at Parkway Parada is nice stuff. And if you are there, please try Springdear Ice Cream. One word- Yummy! If you ask me, I will have Durian and Mango.

The morning started early for me. Finally woke up at 6am (and its not raining)to jog. Quite nite. Its been something that I do weekly. A getaway much apprecipated during the hectic semester. Something I still keep to each week.

Then I went back, had noodles & showered. Watching `Body Beautiful that I didnt catch last nite. Then thought the time is still early, so I went to get some sleep. Wanted to meet my friend for dinner but didnt... Woke up around 10:30 again, but felt so dead beat and decided not to go out today. Went back
to sleep, till 1 plus. I really know how to sleep the morning away.

You see, during the semester, sleeping often comes with guilt, because each hour of sleep is another hour lost of work. And sometimes there isnt any consideration for sleep, deadlines are more pressing to meet. But those days were fulfilling, and leave behind more beautiful memories. So I guess the best thing is to apprecipate each day.

Went down to shelter my grandma and was half- wet even with an umberalla. Then had some berry yoghurt. Mum bought a tub of it. 1 kg I think. And it says 97% Fat Free. I chose to believe it. Haha, I guess I am skeptical if I dont like it & I would doubt it. But since I really like that yoghurt, I chose to believe it really is 97% Fat Free. It better be. Anyway no lunch.. Didnt know what to eat. Plus, to lazy to go anywhere for lunch. Most importantly, no company for lunch. Kind of hungry, but well, what-so-ever.

During those busy days, meal times especially lunch is something I look forward to, though I skipped many too. Because it gives another excuse to sneak away from work. Coz my friend starts driving this semester, sometimes we can go elsewhere for lunch.
Like Holland V, and that foodcourt near MOE, Bopolis or something. Cant remember what it is called. Otherwise even lunch at arts' is good enough. Not forgetting dessert at buz- Mango Sago.

You know, I dont have much memories of the first two semesters I had. All I wanted was just to study. All I wanted was to get home and sleep. I remembered I didnt have much leisure nor social life back then, even though I have much time compared as to the passing semester. And I know I maintained a daily 8 hours of sleep. Impressive.

Well, all I can say is, sometimes its better being alone at home. When everyone is back, it seems as though ... well never mind. At least I know someone out there knows what I want to say. Though not able to read it, I still hope everything's fine and to meet you soon.

Oh did I mention my ICQ is working and my newer version of MSN is installed as well? Not as though I often chat on that thingy. Nor as though I have a long list of friends either. Basically always chat with Lihui (piggy's cousin) at ICQ only. And chatting with piggy & Charles on MSN. But Charles's back at Mauritius.. Oh and another function of ICQ during the semester- receive files.
Faster way to send those reports, drafts, presentations via ICQ, though it works only one way. My friend sends it to me. For two reasons. One- I dont know how that stuff works. Two- Most of the time I handle all the compiling stuff, so they all ended up with me. As though I am the final stage of the production line :) Interesting stuff..

And AM called just now. Said some s21 people actually went back college, to play carom and he wonders why :) Didnt talk long, but hope to meet him for lunch someday too...

Just now was downloading the newer version of msn. Can they stop having new one? I thought the previous version that I own is quite functional already. What more? Haha anyway its coz im using dial up, so it get super slow when i have to download stuff. But was chatting with Lihui on icq (finally its working as well. lihui said it must be due to me).. Anyway hope the msn works kay...

Oh I was indulging in this (berry basket) yohurt. My mum bought a tub (1kg of it). Good as super snacks. By the way, I hadnt jog last week, coz either I couldnt wake up at 6 or whenever I woke up at 6, it rained. Argh... Tomorrow will jog, and sunday too. Sat? For me to rest from the intended friday's great spore sale. Not that I have a lot of stuff to buy, but you know, good to shop
around. Plus dad is going too. So I have company :)

By the way, decided to blog since lihui suggusted that if i am bored, i should blog... Ask me the meaning of bored and I can tell you. Argh!

Was starting on a new writing project. Haha project sounds so professional. Nah its jus on of the stuff i am doing on my own. Dont know if it eventually would be completed or not. Coz it depends if it is an enjoyable piece to read and if people wants to know how the story develops on.. Btw i named it `Amber White (guess why on your own?)... And the first chapter as ... Hope it will be completed eventually..

Oh ya Was talking to piggy last nite :) hope she found the comic books.. And today's her birthday cum opening- presents day keke
Nothing much in particular, jus that yesterday i was reading up on some china trip stuff... nah, not that i am very interested in it, jus that since i would be going there, should know where to shop and what to buy *smirk* Plus my friend told me to try the MAC there, and there is this clothing line that features Jay Chou, anyone out there knows what is the name of this line? coz
my friend forgotten, but ask me definitely should get something from there..

Woke up quite early though as usual was lying on my bed and refuse to get up. Glad to know that my friend's phone is really in the office, and not lost.

Anyway had a great time chatting and watching my now- fav- show on tv last nite.. Was watching jamie oliver and martin yan this morning. All the food making me drool.. though dont have much appetite. Probably going to lose more weights if things go by this way. Not that I am really into losing weights, jus didnt have the mood nor company for lunch. Bet I am losing more weights after coming back from china. Coz to me, food in china is either too oily, too salty, too spicy or too brown for me. I dont like food on my plate to look brown. It doesnt appeal to me. My plate is always full of colour, especially vegetables. Anyway wanta keep healthy, so would go for vegetables, fruits and less oily food, though I couldnt stop myself from pasta, chocolates and cakes recently...

Not really in the mood to do anything much, just surfing the net...

The first time I found myself looking for things to say before I dialed your number. But still really enjoyed every bit of our 2 hours and almost 45 mins chat, just like the past.

The moment you answered the phone, we never run out of conversations.....If this could last...

We shared the same dreams, but can we share the same ending?

Now I realise why I like watching `Just the two of us..I am so much like Mizuho, the female lead in this japanese drama. And I felt like crying after watching today's episode.

Mizuho aspires to be a writer and thus left her hometown and came to Tokoyo. She since lived with her childhood mate, Hachi so as to save on monthly house rents. But realising that she cannot make it as a writer, she continues to work in Matsu Publishing House, a small publishing house, as an editor. That was this episode where under Hachi's advise, she pluck up much courage to
write to her grandmother telling her that she couldnt realise her dream as a writer. But she has since hope that her new dream of being a good editor would give her much hope in life as well.

Later when Hachi gotten a new girlfriend Yoko, she realised as well that she has fallen in love with her childhood cum room- mate. All along she encouraged Hachi to express his feelings to
Yoko, but it became awkward to her that now she still lives together with Hachi, and hangs around with Hachi and Yoko. Hachi always ask her to be around when dating Yoko because he felt weird with Yoko alone. Just as she decided to move out, her publishing house was forced to be bought over by another bigger publishing house. Not knowing how Mizuho felt, Hachi wanted her to stay as well.

Next episode is about Yoko going back to her ex- boyfriend (a married guy who divorced with his wife), leaving Hachi heartbroken. Mizuho is hurt for Hachi wanted to woo Yoko back..

As well, a very famous writer has promised to write for Matsu PH. After three well acclaimed books, the writer disappeared because of fear and unease as he felt that he could no longer see the future, he could no longer write a good book. I understand just how he feels. He even said that "Sometimes, without writing talents could also be a blessing". Frankly I understand every bit... every bit about writer's block, writer's fear...

I know this story has a beautiful ending. Mizuho will be with Hachi. But really, how many people could even tell their best friend how they felt for them, for fear that even the strongest
friendship will collapse at this moment of confession. Tell me, except that Mizuho lives with her best friend & the ending of the story, which part am I not like Mizuho? And maybe because of this
fact that I share the same dreams as her, I felt pain, felt like crying each time I watched this show.

Might go about looking for the VCD for this show. Till now, I only owned one VCD. Its a Japanese drama, Beautiful Life. But I really like this show. As well, might also ask around for the VCD of this Japanese and Korea drama called `Friends.

Spend the day packing holiday stuff, not including my desk. My desk is littered with writing materials, make- up stuff and what-so-ever.

Aunt came with english carrot cake that she bakes. Really delicious. We thought our family could open a cafe in which she and my mum would be baker and cook...

Tonite's `Always just the two of us :)

Attended piggy's 21st birthday party. Really alot of people turned up. But realised I was the only buz ad people ard, all her friends are either science or engine. Saw this group of friends from her hall. Dont know if Charles know them, but they were curious as to how I know piggy since I am from buz ad. :)

And was having spilt headache the whole night (now still). Very legathic and sleepy. Going to bed soon.

Oh saw lihui. Been a long while since I last see him, though he gave me a fright. He came from behind and called my (full) name. So i gotten a shock to hear somebody calling me.

If you give me a brother, I promise my room is always clean.

Anyway my room is in a little mess. Ya again. Nevermind, would get it clear up by tonight. I still remembered my friend said that if I am his sister, he would scold me for my messy room, so I better clean up the little mess. Ya, I wish I have a brother you know... A brother is good, isnt it.

And why dont bookstores sell Jotter book with more paper? There is practically only one type sold..

New store, new book that caught my attention

Fox Women and Men, Ngee Ann City > Crazy shopping at this 2- days- old store. Prices are alright, designs are interesting, concept is new and in laymen terms, its an 'on'place to shop now. But forget much about customer service. The lack of changing rooms and the unfriendly sales personal, with the exception of one, didnt impress me.

Beautiful Solitude By Jimmy > The atmosphere is depressing, but I like it, quite like my style. Very creative drawings and words. If you dont understand all the chinese characters like me, the drawings are enough to keep you thinking.

My pink saga started long ago...

Notice when you look around, you will see pink, and pink will stare you back... My pink saga started one year plus ago when I started buying pink presentation clothes, pink blouse, pink t shirt, pink flip flop, pink nail polish.. Back then, pink wasnt the 'in' colour. But you bet it is now. My friend commented that it is so pinkish now as compared to the past. Guys wear pink too, though some of my guy friends wouldnt wear it for fear to be taken as gays. They said pink is either for girls or gays. :)

What others say..
Mum says I love pink like a barbie.
Sister says she had even of pink because of me. If she needs pink stuff, she knows where to find it and even the handphone pouch I bought for her is pink.
My friend says I am abit into pink though I really started long ago and escalated recently since pinkish is much easily available.

The latest pink item that caught my eye are stuff from ettusais.

For the twelve days since you are 'away', when you text me again, I am very touched. Even though we mentioned that we would hang around together on 19may, and when I knew you would be away, I already started missing you. And I know I will especially miss you on that day. But when I switched on my phone, I saw your name. After I heard your voice I cried. The familiar comforting and assuring feeling is back with me.

For the twelve days since you are 'away', when today we talked again, I am very happy. The kind of happiness is so much familiar to me, so much concrete. We talked mainly the semester. Those pain staking times we had. Those days we had to pass. Those days we had to hang on. People names that we forget. Little kid by the stairway playing a ball in the morning. Cf,Ia. People whom we gave nick names to. His job... Many old memories resurface. Many happy memories.

Knowing your world is like giving balloons to kids...
Sharing your joy is like sweets treat for the kids...
Hearing your voice is like lullaby to infants...


Asking for me, this kind of happiness is more real, more concrete and more familiar.

If you ask me, I will remain as a kid as long as you wouldnt change.
If you ask me, I will want you to always be there. For as long as ever.. ever is too long.

When I saw your text message this morning, I shared your sadness.
When I replied to your message, I know you wouldnt think its me.
You wouldnt think I am so early.
And you should receive my- little- red- bean- smiley- card two days from now.
Its my encouragement and support to you.

When I heard your voice over the phone just now, I feel that you are really alright.
Thats why I am relieved too.

Oh ya the going- to- be- 21- years- old- piggy, I tagged CONGRATS at your site, dont know if it appears, but congrats kay.. Your so called "piggy power" worked!

If without you to share my joy
Everything happy is halved

You given me the courage I need in life, the confidence that I forget I still have, the friendship that I was looking for. Even the urge to wake up in the morning. But if you are leaving now, I will cry.

I had the craziest time of my life...

Off 11 Amber Road & missing you

Oh did I mention I kind of spotted my dream house yesterday? Yap, its at 11 Amber Road. The ivory white tower that shines under the sunlight. Really pretty. And its my dream house, I didnt say anything about my dream home huh. Its different ya. May my dream home be on the way.

Anyway I am starting to feel the blues (again?). Its results day tomorrow, what else..

And I miss you. Can I not miss you.

The place is not the same without you... but someday, I would get used...

Went East Coast Park cycling today. But you know, I still prefer to have your company. Like I said, ecp is different without you... Its a feeling you know. Like when you and your friend always visit a particular place or engage in a particular activity, everything seems different without that friend. Dont know if you ever come across such a feeling?

And I miss the steamboat and springdear ice cream treat we enjoyed. I had springdear ice- cream today. Guess what favour? If you would to see this, I bet you got it right. Durian! Because you are always tempting me with the durian favour that I decided to try it myself. Springdear durian ice- cream cone & Lime juice make up my lunch today. I seldom have lunch during the holidays, unless I am outside by lunch time... Wonder what you had for lunch today? Wonder what is the menu like in Frankfurt and LA/NY ?

And I miss the time when we went to Changi Airport after our cycling. Its relaxing enough just to see people flying in, and flying out.

And its almost a month since year four is away, wonder if he is back already. So many questions but no answers.

Anyway I probably might go cycling again on Wednesday. That is, if I wake up early enough. But its always difficult to wake up especially knowing that no one is there for you. Like during the holidays, I would wake up early to chat with you on the phone. And We did thought of learning skating on 19/05/04 (since its results day, and results day is gonna be a long day) but since you are away, its probably me, the bike and the sunshine...

And did I mention, I had a fall as I was about to reach home. Argh! Never seem to stop falling.. Have a scar under my chin, on my leg already. And it hurts...

Always the two of us.. US?

Did you watch `Always the two of us? I start to enjoy watching this Japanese drama on Sunday nights. Maybe because Japanese drama brings back a lot of memories for me.

I remembered acutely when I was still in lower secondary school; I was in the afternoon session. Meaning school would start around One o'clock (?) for me. And so everyday I will wake up and watch this Japanese drama called Cinderella or something. It’s about this young girl who came from a humble background, and she fell in love with a rich family's son. And the signature item of this drama is the red umbrella, if I’m correct. Japanese dramas always each have this signature item. Crystal apple ball, African necklace...

Japanese dramas aren’t so frequent on TV already. Korean dramas kind of taken over the limelight. But I still like the former. I guess they represent the past to me. The secondary school days.

My friend emailed me pictures of Koh Racha and suddenly I am crazy about this little island. Believe me, its like a writer's heaven. Alright, maybe not, but really the place is beautiful

The pictures of the beaches that I received are pretty, but guess you could see some @ http://www.asiatraveltips.com/TheRacha.shtml

My Set of Memories. Of You.

I was packing a big part of my memories in university. I vividly remembered that before I entered the university, I didn't have much expectations of it. I probably thought it was just another phase of my life and I would take whatever that comes. Memories would by then form, somehow by itself, on its own. I didn't, or probably couldn't envision what kind of university life I would be living.

When the first semester came and went by, I didn't think much. I didn't think I would find a true friend in my own faculty. But I managed to find you, you and mostly you. The three friends whom formed so much of my memories in university. Especially the last you, the least expected, yet the most memorable.

As I was saying, I was packing a big part of my memories in university. Putting one set of my memories with you in a longish shoe box, I poured them out and took a look at them as I recalled those times.

Writer's note
Above is part of the story that I wrote. Guess my regular readers have already received that.. Jus thought of blogging this since I really like the story. And if you like to read it, just email me :) I will send you the full version.

Was playing around with the online bus guide :) kinda of fun.. Anyway saw the tag board. Haha interesting :)

Perhaps should get to know how to upload pictures on the blog itself, though pictures @ My Pictures should work jus as well..

Reminded of college day memories..

Yesterday went to my sis's college day, nj. Suddenly brought back a lot of memories from the past. Surprise to see this primary school mate, though I dont think he recognised me.

My own's college day three years ago was quite memorable, though there werent any photos of that day. Our class owned a store outside the general office, selling candy. If memory didnt fail me, I think we made a profit..

Suddenly felt much older. Felt that time really passes. Felt that I mature in just these two years. Besides no longer in a uniform environment, so many things have changed already..

As for today, have done nothing actually. Spend the day sleeping AGAIN. Haha! I sure know nothing else to do huh..

Hadnt done anything much today except volunteering work. But if anywhere needs an ironing lady and pays well, I really dont mind taking up the job : ) Thinking (aloud) what to do tomorrow... And, well, never mind..

Fresh Look
Gotten a new look for now.. Its really white, but I wouldnt mind it this way, though indeed love the older look as well, for its colour combination (blue and orange) is my favourite. But guess its this whiteness that gives it another fresh coat of class.

Need some time to get the links back and stuff like that.. So bear with it for now..

Not feeling very well now (Abdomen cramp), but I started doing some before-nite exercise.. hopefully of some use. Nothing plan for today. Probably read something later.

Its been a while since I last blogged. Been a while since I am feeling alright. But Im just trying to keep away for a while, to find what I want to find..I will be alright when the time comes..

Writer's Note
The writer will blog when she has access to the net (hopefully every other day), so as to not put her computer at risk.

Anyway I am feeling much better than the past few days. And yesterday did something so brave (didnt imagine i would do it, but while i did it). So feeling really better now. Relieved! (though when my friend heard it, he was super surprised) Going to hang around for a while. Then heading home. Shower, then go do something for my friend who is flying off soon..

Nearly melted while outside.. Anyway now in school (cant imagine huh) Wanted to surf net, but my computer had just gotten the virus, and yesterday with help from my friend, it has a clean bill of health, so no way am i going to surf at home (troublesome).

Without a choice, we complaint for a lack of freedom. Given choices with unknown future yet seem like a problem to be solved. And do you like something for it is a habit of yours already, so much in your life? Listening to Spears's new song- Everytime.

Dear friend,
Hope you are feeling less depressed after talking to you. I hope I am still there for you, as you are here for me. Thats friends. I know I feel better every time I talk to you. But you know, you arent here to solve my problems. You are already important when you listen and give me advises. So dont let my problems, or your other friends' problems to make you blue. I hope you are going to be still here for me.
Signing off,
Friend's friend