Why dont you spend a longer time in austria blur gal?

When I said I sat in the wrong Spanish class (Haha!) and asked if he knows whether Germany is great for my visiting. Then when I asked which part of Austria, I gotten such reply

Dont know but i am sure there some nice places apart from vienna

Maybe I will read up on Germany and I might have an answer? Because the rough guide on Budapest is being delivered to me and still I am not very persuaded to do Budapest.

Though the email reply came in and I know I can the train tickets in the local office rather than in Vienna itself. Though I am thinking it would be more expensive and whether I could live without securing a train ticket before flying off, which seems like a totally abstract and insane idea for me. Even though Zen is trying to convince me to get a guide book and stick to what one million people has followed, I still think I must (over)research and know very sure what I've booked and where I'm going. Or maybe I need alittle more push, because my boss said that once we keep doing this (going on holiday) we might get used to the idea of not doing so much research, not even in the accomodation, except for the day that we land on this foreign place.

The very interesting conversation. If Zen didnt/refuse to/dont remember to remind me, can you guys jus remind me again.

can u remind me to buy more before i fly off???

hahaha buy more wat?

clothing, bags. fashion

why u need me to remind u?

dont know!

i am sure u got intrinsic talents in this field

u know jus one h&m shop i can stay inside for like 4 hours that kind

all the more i dun need to remind u

sometimes i feel v bad to spend so much money at one go

u will feel guitly meh!

I will! Now you see I am excited about (shopping in) Vienna and (shopping in) Prague because buddy told me that in Vienna there are like 3 H&M shops within 100m of each other (!) and they A-L-L sell different things. And because I read that Prague is great for shopping.

And I've jus set a goal for myself: I must shop enough for at least the rest of the year, but better to shop enough till the next holiday which is by now an undefinite date. So I must shop more!

Listening to this album again, rough voice but lyrics of songs written from different angles.

I stepped into office and upon reaching my cubicle, I saw the food stuff from Beijing all rest by my laptop; the jie lun chips (this time, chicken flavour), (must be yummy) glica mango pudding collon biscuits (i cant remember the flavours that i used to have/receive, but must have been green tea) and fresh prawn instant noodles. Everything that I like, thank you, you make my day, my Monday. Including that photo to cheer me up.

And I feel belonged. I supposed its especially important to me now. I feel belonged to society (I was always told in GP class to never put a 'the' before the word 'society') and part of everyone. The pepper lunch went by with the salty honey sauce and the garlic sauce, the accomodation booking, the NZ holiday that buddy is going for. Suddenly makes me excited about the Europe trip that I am taking.

The Europe trip that I am taking alone (again).

Though I know somewhere out there you would be hitting the Barcelona streets, roaming in Paris, sightseeing in London- all that I have done a year ago. So are we promising to do a present exchange?

I went for a run and it gets worrying when I dont run as well as in the gym. Sounds like a pussy cat.

Outside hotter so of course more siong

I feel as if I have self-created so many other problems to get away from the first worry that now they all are piling up in a heap.

If you allow me to try to think things through- I feel guilty but more of worry and fear and helpess, which wasnt made any easier without talking to anyone about it, even if talking cant solve any of those emotions nor the situation; I felt as if I am always going to be Emma seeing different varieties and structures and forms of Polin and I didnt like it when someone else take away all your attention and I didnt like it when I have to listen everything about the different Polin(s) and I dont like it when it sometimes reminds me of how I do in fact missed a bit about the other him; of course now I dont know if I want to go beyond Praha and if so, where.

Then you quickly come back and dont extend la.

If taken as face value is all that it means.

Thought you are supposed to nap? Your favourite past time

Thats another problem, i not sleeping well, cant even nap

Why cant sleep well or nap?

My only way to get away from worry and fear for one thing is to get myself into another/others form of worries and fears and troubles and problems. Then when it gets too painful I run away again. So now the lastest form of problem that I have created for myself is: should I forgo Budapest for Paris. Or an even bigger problem is, whether I should go somewhere else (where?) or cut short the whole thing to jus Praha.

While I can remember off-hand Charles Bridge and Old Town of Praha, I cant do quite the same with Budapest. I didnt have any prior thoughts of going to this place. I know nothing much of this place other than all the reading that I have done, which doesnt seem to engage me enough. I dont know anyone who has been there, or know where it is. And it gets me so lost with both the Buda area and the Pest area (Budapest is divided into the Buda and the Pest area and they are connected by the Chain Bridge, or hidak). I hadnt feel for Budapest (if its as of yet) other than it having architecture that I think I might like. So I have no clear sign of whether I will like it or not (before I went London I am sure it will jus be ok for me, the same goes for NY), I was wondering by then I probably be missing companion and home and chinese food, which makes visiting Paris an attractive plan also. Even though I must admit there isnt much in Paris that I am looking forward to do, and worse still, things in Paris are more expensive.

Then forget Paris la. Can go again in future

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Up to you. Whatever happier for you

I need a cry, I need a haircut, I need a good book, I need a shopping spree, I need a swim, I need a jog, I need to talk.

Why is this cheesy, very commericalised album of songs working on me.

No wonder. I think I will always be that little girl and running to you as and when I do, with loads of questions and comments that you will laugh off as silly and weird. Even though you never quite understand me, but your words sometimes are calming to me.

From google

I wasnt really in any mood for anything, which going by the amount of food I am eating, it should set me back by some weights yet step back when throwing in the cheddar cheese biscuits and two full pieces of chocolate.

Emma, making her way up the bus, said that she didnt think she cared (that Alex loves her) and the worse thing that Alex made her go through was to listen to his love for Polin.

If the typical movie ending is that Alex no longer feels for Polin and gets back with Emma, then the typical reality would be, for whatever reasons, Emma wouldnt be together with Alex.

I am preparing for the trip, already. I went through the logistics though they are unconfirmed plans hinged on whether I could get the train tickets in the local office (because there isnt any flight available). I went through the narrowed list of accomodation and drew out an even narrower list for two different scenarios- one where I would be needing a single room. I went through the things to do and to see in the city of Wien, as well as Praha but not yet Budapest. Hadnt gone into the exact details like the point-to-point logistics but I have tomorrow for that. I am preparing to do this all on my own.

On almost the following week that I would be leaving, if I am, someone in office will be taking the Bath-London-Paris-Barcelona route, the exact reverse route I took less than a year ago. I felt as if I could envision the whole journey for him, I felt as if I could do it all over again. I hope he can bring something for me for Aunt Paris.

It isnt hard to fall in love with Alex, in fact it is hard to not fall in love with Alex. Not jus for that deeply casted pair of eyes, but that sincere expression, that flow of talent. Alex said that he wants to be an author for the longest time he remembered, which was something I would have said too. Someone recently mentioned that I write well, I write like an author. Whether the truth or not, which reminds me that someone else taught me to take things face value, I think when its nice things thats easy to accept, people could easily take it as face value. But otherwise it isnt easy.

Jus like how it isnt easy for me to think the text message was sincere. It felt more like a must-do rather than a I-want-to-do.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
When Alex said good night Emma, Emma replied goodbye Alex.

As for what has happened to me, I am waiting for good news on Thursday. The importance placed on the other I-hope-is-good news has since evaporated.

Because I will fulfil the visit to Praha, on my own. Since if there is no contract or promise in the first place, this decision isnt a breach of anything.

The conversation lasted 6 mins 47 seconds and tears flowed. The first sentense I heard over the other side after the 4th ring was you finally called. Even before tears were shed, the other side of the phone knew I was about to burst out and cry. I think the fact that I couldnt and/or didnt say anything about it make me feel worse. It was silent, it was tears, it was I am not ready to talk about it that deflated the question of what had happened to me which was put across in various different sentense structures. I know I did nothing in providing for answers but throwing out more questions. Possible scenarios that were generated from obviously after some thinking were raised and self-destroyed, leading to the voice of increasing frustration on the other end. I was given the respect that if I wouldnt want to say I shall keep silent but was asked to shed light on how long this will go on, if I can promise to text upon any changes and if I can promise to reply text messages if I am alright.

I promised.

I took the day off, to recover from all the pain and cramps. Did practically nothing but sleep. Sleeping do makes the muscle and stomach cramps go away, but thats all the pain it can reduce.

Shutting myself away and not wanting to face reality. I dont know what I can do (because it seems practically nothing), I dont know how to face it and I dont know how to talk about it. I googled and read about it but I dont think I can talk about it, even though I should say something, I think.

I got the two messages about being worried over whats happening to me. I promised to make a call later but I am not ready to talk about it. So I dont know what I can say to fulfil that call. But maybe its first step from hidding away from reality.

This would be a totally different entry that I set out to write while dazing blankly on the train jus now. I am still shaking from fear and worry after listening to it. I cried but then again I tried not to cry. Suddenly the life that I have built seems to be wrong somehow. I couldnt quite describe what I am going through, like the same way how I never quite know how to express my thoughts other than through writing, which I know somehow isnt quite the form of communication my parents hope for.

I am not sure how I am going to cope. I think I might take a day off tomorrow because I dont think I will cope well.

I dont intend to turn to any of my close friends (I know I dont have many anyway) because I think even if I have no idea how I will cope, I will be on my own, for this, from now.

I might not be contactable, I might not be writing, but I really dont know. For how long, I also dont know. I am totally not sure about things but I know I need some peace.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Tmr very sorry I cant meet you for lunch. Something happen. I wouldnt be picking up my phone.

I believe from the way people say Hi to you, you can sense if the person has changed. Maybe jus whether the person has changed his perspective towards you. Well, this is how the world works and it hasnt upset me, at least not today.

There is abundant sunshine today and that makes me a happy girl. Especially when my first laps in the empty pool. Try to imagine myself as a pretty and slim girl from a rich family swimming the afternoon away (read: jobless but rich) with plenty of sun. Back to reality, I am jus the gal who changes from slippers to heels and wait in line for a boxed lunch. Which makes me wonder if I was someone else looking at this life, would I envy (not as if there is much to envy over) and want to have it.

My Spanish textbook, work book and notes

Of which would hopefully become a beautiful dress

My Virgin Spanish Class

1. When asking a question, being with “¿” and end with “?”
e.g.
Yo soy Si Ying ¿ y du ?
(I am Si Ying, and you?)

2. A Spanish person has one name, no middle name and two surnames; first surname belonging to his father and second belonging to his mother.
e.g. Tono Codinach Aragonés, the tick on top of "e" means you have to give emphasis to the letter

3. There are some words that end either with a "o" or "a". Most of the word ending with "a" refers to a female.
e.g. encantado or encantada
(a more polite way in saying My pleasure to men/all and to females)

I jus finished Chapter 39 of `The Appeal. It wasnt what I have ecpected from the turn of the story before the ending chapter. But maybe it was more of the short end that made me feel disappointed, and not so much as to why Ron Fisk had such a vote despite what happened to Josh Fisk. Though I admit I enjoyed the read quite a bit, especially when it had been a long time such that I have been able to sit down and finish a book- first page to last.

I dont think I was stressed out, jus that there seemed to be so many things to cope with. Or was it me that (purposedly) planned for all of them.

My whole brain was filled with opex and capex (legal stuff really isnt my strength, finance is better) and I had to rush for class. Las LiLas is about 20-25 (speed) walking minutes away from my office. I was so tired and hungry by the time I reached the school. And 5 mins from the start of the class I had time for like a corner of my French Loaf.

The Spanish teacher (I am not sure if he would still be my teacher since I am due for Monday class and since I was at work, I joined the Wednesday class for this week) Tono is quite fun. I like the way where he speaks to us in Spanish and let us guess what it meant. It didnt take too long to realise my strength lies in reading (read: guessing) the words but not speaking the language. 2 hours passed before I noticed (even though I felt as if my heart is crawling and I was totally hungry) and adios to my first Spanish class.

Having been to Barcelona helps alot. For the very basic, it was precisely the days in Barcelona that further sparked the passion that I have of Barcelona before actually visiting it. I remembered my very first reaction when my head popped out of the Metro was "Alright this is Barcelona, say WOO" (something like that). Having a great time (shopping) in Barcelona was also another reason for that love. Being curious of things I see in Barcelona and wanting to go back definitely count as well. All in all, I love this European city and since I was totally undecided on going for a sewing/fashion design class meant that learning Spanish is the next thing for me.

Alright I have to revise what I learn today though I will leave the homework to another day; I want to finish reading the last 2 chapters of my book and I am super duper zuper auper in need of sleep. You know I actually woke up at 4am this morning and read for an hour and I actually skipped a shopping lunch for more reading. Dont you think I am going crazy.

If there is one thing I want to tell you todayWere jus saying that 99.9% of sent sms will be received by the receiver and that 0.1% wouldnt even be us. Today the yes-to-my-umbrella-sms was unreceived by me.

Someone from office has gotten my Jie Lun Chips (again)! Come back soon!

I need my lunch swim tomorrow!

So I sat by the laptop drowning to still the piano sound followed by love is a weird thing, love is a ability, I am starting to not be myself, because of you I am doing all the foolish things, the first being writing you a poem...while reading my book and drinking milk, then wondering if today had been a good day to swim!

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
i booked you for lunch tmr then

Walking around Madison Square Garden
The pink cap keeps covering my eyes else walking around alone is fine!

I think inflation should actually include the time consumed in our work in its basket! Even the waiting time for lifts is undergoing inflation and not deflation! I dont know how long it takes for the lift to come but I am sure I press the lift button for a million times before it comes!

Sometimes jokes really do show and leave its presence for life. As like both at home, as like both on their gender website and both looking and waiting for the same thing but jus not each other. In the words, all are naive and foolish jus because one is.

I guess I didnt have much leisure time to have something burning in me that I must express. Jus hope for a good holiday ahead!

Soaking up all the time I have. I felt excited, getting myself logged on, surfing the net, reading the papers, watching TV and then. And then I feel so tired! Haha.

The 3km run was great! Even if it feels painful at the lower left side of the heart and the gastic was bad (at least not terrible, jus bad). My body feels right, even my skin feels so refreshed from the run! Jus that when I see the sunshine beyond the gym, it must have been a good day for swimming too!

why why why

Like we went to war, when we were back, everyone asked "how is it". We went through, things were ok and so can go home at 5pm. Happy to go home while the sun is up.

I think I can finish reading `The appeal soon; I think I can go for my class tomorrow.

My leave for month of May is being approved. Hopefully they are well-spend in Europe. Hopefully another piece of (good) news tomorrow

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
I knw you r at work, but i have to call u!

In office still..!

but if u can go jus not the same time u aso happy wat... is me then more sianz

NO LOR
i wanna go with ur timing one

Good news please!

Its total bright and sunny now but it was looming grey clouds then a bout of thunder and rain around 12:30pm. Even after I showered it was still raining. Jus 15 laps and it has to rain. At least it was quite a good swim albeit jus half of the regular laps, making me feel so super duper zuper auper unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Even though there is this on-and-off pain supposedly at the left of the heart.

Was still discussing that we might have to miss our classes today, which definitely are bad feelings on a Monday morning. Cross my (our) fingers.

Jus playing with the camera

Winter coldness meant sometimes you get tired trying to take photos without getting your fingers and face frozen. And to compensate, its photo taking in the hotel room, haha.

Depressing!

I cant explain but stop (showing off by) talking to me, because for some reasons I have this unexplainable anger towards you and I dont feel like talking to you, at least for a while.

Staying home is not always good. But staying home alone is always good.

From the web, thats my spanish school

I hadnt gotten to pack my bag for school, but I sure have loads to bring back on Monday- my gym stuff and books.

So what would I be looking forward to this week: lunch work-out and my spanish class on Monday and thats about it. Probably to spend more (undisturbed) time reading because I borrowed 3 books and finished none. More work-outs too- I think the sun's out. Its time to start preparing for, I know its only, the 5.6km run because it had been awhile since I last did even 5km. Sounds boring? I am bored.

Have you also realised that rising inflation has affected a large extent of our lives; the fish slices were thinner, ingredients get lesser, you hardly get enough noodles in a bowl, bills going up. Jus trying to think what other ways to reduce costs, or better still earn more money.

My attention span is getting so short and its irritating that nothing keeps me occupied for long.

Wanted to watch it for a long time when I was told that watching it will make you feel so scared. Indeed, but I was, for a while, glued to the screen and enjoyed it.`The Kingdom is indeed a great show. Maybe I am not your typical girl who doesnt quite like war/battle/fighting show.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Watching the show makes me scared, but its the reality that I am most scared of.

Jus like those previous cases which gotten attention unexpected of those involved- personally or professionally, I always think its (much much) more detestable to be caught lying (especially through other means) than to admit one is at fault. But somehow the world is hinting that its often lies that rule the world you see. Disappointed would have been an understatement.

I get so distracted that I could hardly read 2 chapters of the book and decided to lay my hands on the laptop. Why can I jus sit down quietly to read.

The rain's big, and I wished I showered and in bed for a nap.

I am starting to resist some people, am I. Too lazy and cant be bothered to entertain, too arrogant to even pretend that I like. I am picky, am I not.

Very picky. And very distracted.

Shopping for cloth is so tiring! Jus two plus hours and I feel like coming home for a nap.

I am still waking up early in the morning, but at least there is the shopping-for-cloth, eating Golden Mile steamboat to look forward to. And then I think I am excited about my Spanish class on Monday. Like going back to school, I need to prepare my pencil box! Haha.

You dont need to understand the language, because window-shopping-online is all about six-sensing fashion. Haha.

As though it was the after-effect of working late and long hours and weekend for the past three weeks that now suddenly I am at lost with not having to work over the weekend. I guess it was jus a matter of adjusting.

I jus read the papers, read the book, watch TV, mingle around the house and help out, slept through the afternoon... sounds like what old women do when they are at home.

I must be crazy to force myself to wake up at 10am on a public holiday.

Perhaps in the plane to Paris...

She is Kiki.

Jus almost 3 hours ago did I venture through the link and the malls to reach office and now I have taken the same route. Comfortably tucked in my desk, in a pretty mood from the favourite Sushi Tei lunch and Europe talk. In the usual desk (other than occupying the desk next to this for birthday celebration), the usual and very favourite food of salmon belly soup and fried yaki soba. Less than a year ago it was Barcelona, Paris, London and Bath. Less than two months ago, it was New York and North Carolina and less than a year from the first Europe trip, there is a (happy) possibility of stepping foot on Europe again. Happy jus thinking about it.

Are we spoilt... seemed like going holiday every few months and going further... in fact so spoilt to always want to go Europe?

The 19, 20 years old undergraduate who was happy with a Hk holiday in a year, and then a BKK holiday in another year has grown up to be trekking (and thinking of) Europe every so now and then. The 23 years old fresh graduate who is totally apprenhensive about being alone and arriving in a total foreign and un-English nation has grown up to know that being alone and arriving in a total foreign and un-English nation are part of the journey, part of a holiday that she wants.

I felt as though I was out partying all night when in fact it was merely my brain that was dancing away last night. Must have aged? Oh well, as long as I dont look old I am happy enough.

Its time for the arms and limbs to be moving later. Wet in which way- the swimming or running.

You go stay at your favorite red hotel; I go back to stay at my favourite hotel and look for Paris Aunt.

If I am stopping by Paris, then I will. Else it has now be my $1.80 postage of a blue Mickey on a yellow card in a yellow envelope reaching Paris in about 8 days from now, I hope.

Yes, I am still awake. Let me finish blogging (read: unwind) before I go to bed.

I never had been a big fan of hanging little cutish stuff on my mobile phone. Even if I do, none stayed quite long. But I kinda like Kiki, the name of this bug bunny with a flower on its head from Tokyo Disney (or rather from Zen). The big head onto its tiny brown body, holding yet another rose, smiling at you with its tooth and a pair of movable ears. Even when its facing now, its white buddy bottom is cute. Maybe Kiki will stay with me for quite some time to come. Jus that if I am going away in May, I will Kiki around because I will be upset if I leave her somewhere out there.

P/S photos tomorrow...

Probably some good news next week? At least I am hoping for one. I know I will be disappointed if otherwise. And I probably spend the weekend (I hope) looking through hotels in Budapest, in preparation of the good news.

2 full weeks in Europe definitely has the power to make me happy!

Concluding almost a 16-hour of work, I left the office at 12 mid-night. Haha. But I can go into the office at 10:30am tomorrow, giving me either some time for more sleep, a run, a swim or a visit to the post office.

Now I really feel like my mind's like a hamster, racing round and round the wheel. Haha.

In office!

NY Mac

Eating Mac in overseas has always been an interesting experience. You get to see the Mac outlet, to look at the menu, to taste the food.

This time, its an outlet in Chinatown. We tried the nuggets.

Conclusion: Singapore nuggets tasted more delicious, but maybe it is frozen?

From hostelworld

Work overtime, work weekends, the latest being work during lunch. But I am not complaining! I jus want to try my best, still upbeat about things.

I shifted my laptop facing the other way and its nice to look up and see the Barcelona streets, the Barcelona apartment, the bridge in Bath, and the winter trees in NC, then Battery Park in NY, East Coast park cycling, Buz Ad library, the Louvre Museum and the Barcelona 5kg water bottle and the Barcelona market. Makes me happy.

Lets Europe this year again!

Get an apartment!

Am I running a fever or I am jus hot-ness and paranoid.

Progress: I dont know.

I better go sleep and think (and work) through tomorrow morning.

The photos and postcards sticking on my table are falling apart. Argh.

Really stuck. Suddenly felt so tired and distracted.

Progess of slides: None.

Congratulations. Deadline's tomorrow noon.

Brain, please wake up.

Showered and dry, from the sweat and tears.

Jogging, as like crying and listening to music, is theraptic to me.

I have done all 3 today.

But still I am not ready and in no capacity to gripple with issues like expectations, disappointment, fairness, mistakes or stubborn-ity (if there is such a word). Neither about how it was merely a issue of different ways of handling an issue, or about how it was a problem that everyone faces. I felt so drained, exhausted and remote.

And then I remembered I left something in the office. Argh.

Still thank you for why are you still here, and for the drive to see if I was ok over the 1 hour drink (minus the phone call it was jus half hour) which ended with anything you must call me and tell me ok.

Love is so powerful, at the same time so hurting and destructive. Do I always destroy things.

And, I really have no idea who is real and who is really concerned about me. What if you discover another side of your friend, which was repeatingly denied upon, leading you to suspect that maybe everything wasnt as real as it was said to be. Am I wrong to suspect since I shouldnt have come to know of it, and even if I do, it need not be something that I should bother about. Whether my insistence was wrong.

But I know if I would to confide, I might be too blinded to listen even. Is that a sign that I am not entirely hopeless or actually I am hopeless. Is it that I have already known the answer to my question but I refused to listen.

I wonder if my brain so full of all these, plus work, would allow me to sleep now. My heart wasnt even paying attention to the song that I am supposedly addicted to.

If someone can tell me what to do, if someone can tell me the right thing to do, if there is so called the right thing to do and if I can listen to the right thing and if I do exactly the right thing. If all these IFs happen, then things would be right. Does it means that I am very far from all the right things.

Quite addicted to this new song (which I didnt manage to load into my ipod), about how love is a silly thing, I am not even myself, because of you I did so many silly things, the first being writing a poem for you, to do all the impossible because of you... I kept quiet because of you.

Post Office @ Chinatown

Going to the post office has become almost a must-do thing for me, though if there is other way in getting stamps than queue in one.

Queue isnt that long but service was slow. But since it was still rather early, plus the fact that it was snowing quite heavily that day, I thought its warmer to stay in the stuffy post office than out there.

I am not entirely sure, but it does seem that I am feeling a little tired from traveling. I suspect it was being tired for having to do so many preparation work which I inisited upon myself. Jus that I hadnt been a little more excited. I guess it is also because I dont really have a regular traveling companion now, so it gets a little hard to share with anyone (and even if there is, without being a regular companion means there is hardly any flow).

But if it means traveling on my own for life, then its time that I start to get used to it now.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
I dont know how to face..

I always get into trouble, dont I. Seems so hard to stay out of trouble, even if its staying at home.

Finally gotten my almost 12 hours of sleep. Hadnt been sleeping well for the entire week already.

Abit sick of going through the website for hotels/hostels. Jus last year I was going through the list for hostels in Paris and London, and apartments in Barcelona. Then it was looking through hotels in NY and NC. Recently was looking at hotels for my sister at NY. Then now its another round. I guess the problem is I am jus so picky. I must look through the entire list, compare the location/prices/perceived environment(from the photos and reviews)/amentities available before I could narrow down the list and continue to compare. And more so often, I think I am a little sick/scared of hostels already. How about guesthouses and apartments?

Nothing's confirm yet, but still its better to be prepared than caught off-guard. So Prague is done, now left with Budapest (and probably Vienna if I want another additional night in hotel-other-than-the-conference-hotel).

I think its enough surfing today. Going to read a book. Stopped reading Sue Gee's Letters from Prague and changed to John Grishman's The Appeal.

How about listing down things to look forward to for the week
- Buffet lunch on Monday
- Buffet lunch on Tuesday
- Perhaps a jog on Monday
- Perhaps a swim on Wednesday
- Public Holiday: plan to go source for fabric to tailor dresses

I overheard something- really like those days of mine!

Come to think about it, the idea of a ice-cream waffles treat was first introduced months ago and has finally realised today. Suddenly there are so many things I want to do.

I think I jus vomitted- all the things that I cant say, whether in person or here, I told him. I guess he thinks I need a listening ear anyway so he suggested the swim and lunch idea, because with things to read, I dont see why he needs a companion.

So the question is whether it made me feel better. I guess vomitting is one, cleaning up is another but whether I will stop vomitting again is yet another big (quoting: long term) question.

A little unfamiliar at first, but as if when the old routinue has been gotten used to, everything seems as per the past. And congratulation, I gotten a little tan, at least from what I see of my hands.

Jus a quick thought about it, if I would to ask myself, I probably reject the idea of getting into a show and doing the game. Can I do it, probably yes, probably no. But would doing all these made myself lose who I am (whether it is important to be who you think you are and want to be), and would I be any happier, maybe the first-impression answer is a No. Never mind, I lost track of what next to say.

Thanks for listening. Though you always say that there are more things you know about that I expect, I still think there are things you dont know yet because I hadnt say.

I thought making two (alright I admit the designs are rather simple) cards in this month is already good enough considering that I dont have much time, suddenly recall that there are a few more occasions suitable for a card.

What a short weekend!

I still feel happy simply because I am in the Amber blue-stripped spag top, mango yellow shorts, new pink bubbly flip-flop that my mum bought for me, and the (old) puma pink school bag back from university days. I wonder if this has to do with 24 years of age, and what will be my source of happiness 10 years later.

I try to appreciate the train journey and walk to office tower as if I am some tourist in Singapore, because if I am a tourist, I wouldnt be caught out so early. So early yet so comfortable walking about would only happen when I am back at home.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Dont know why but I dont feel like it.

My Monday Spanish class is being postphoned. I can take the time to read `The Appeal. Somehow though curious why Harriet feels guilty towards Karl by peeking at the last chapter, I hadnt gone back to read the middle chapters.

Snowing

More snowing @ Chinatown area

It was pretty early in the morning. The snow made the day's weather even colder. And at a point I thought it was mix snow and ice, which was as reported in the NY news before.

Because the shops wouldnt be open so early, we gotten ourselves coffee and donuts and bagels.

Do you think something is wrong with me if I suspect I am addicted to working late? Haha.

I probably go back to work tomorrow, plus clear some admin stuff like e-tax filing, go for a swim or run and have catch-up lunch, though ideally I shouldnt be having such heavy lunch of sushi and ice-cream waffles (I had two buffles this week, and having two more buffles next week!). You should have suggested the lunch so that at least it was something for me to look forward to for the week- milk all its worth. But I supposed it was what I said today that made you have the swim and lunch idea.

My phone now has the hanging bugs bunny (and a pink flower), bought from Tokyo Disney, in its Tokyo Disney plastic carrier (haha). Thank you!

Listening to the new album brings about this nice relaxing feeling again.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Maybe back to normal next wednesday.

I find myself facing all the HR issues that I study in school. Argh.

I tried to leave behind them, and the dirty, the unhappy, the upset, the anger (?) when I left office. Easy?

Upset, super duper. But after a rattling scream, dinner and shower, I think I feel more tired than upset.

Too busy to log online, because I jus want to concentrate on my slides. The past few days of staying away from the laptop helps reducing the stickness towards the laptop, and boasting productivity.

Fair?

Me in the train

Post office jus down the block from my hotel

Its been a while since I had some time to myself.

Around NY

Its tedious to be taking photos with freezing temperatures but still. Penn Station that you always see on TV, Post Office (which I visited the one in Chinatown to get stamps for my postcards) and road signs. We were on our way to taking the subway to Chinatown.

Pushing the work to tomorrow, but it didnt make me feel more relaxed. I hope the 3km run squeezed into the busy day would help me sleep better at night. I dont know if its the coffee and tea thats keeping me awake, or was it stress.

Its always time like this that I feel that I need more Singapore-styled winter clothing!

Sometimes I wish work is finished so that at least I can really feel relaxed.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Trying to be off the hook.

The one weekend of 17-hours of sleep has definitely lost its traces on my face. I think I look ugly. Argh.

But its definitely good to be back at home already. I think fever's so possible so I better sleep early.

And you wonder if its my (generation's) laziness in putting a small umbrella in my bag. Either that or its because my bag is always full! You see, I have this girl's pouch, for things like hair band, keys, hair clips, tissue paper etc. Then I have my wallet, mobile phone, pad, jotter book and pen, office pass, ipod and come the big make-up pouch, since I never know when I have last minute dinners or when I suddenly decide to go for a run or swim. And then its newspapers, and breakfast and story book. On days when I do sports, its sport attire and towels. Any space for umbrella? No. Haha.

Its (super duper zuper) terrible that you work longer hours but you jus, unlike what others say, dont lose weight!

Why I never lose weight?

One interesting way to judge how late you leave your office, other than from the city lights, is how clear your powerpoint slides (or jus simply your computer screen) reflects on the window.

Today I saw all the slides clearly printed on the window that oversees Conrad building.

And I was told, the capsules cant be lit with lights otherwise you cant see anything other than the reflection of its lights! But the wheel is blue-ly lit!

Last thing before I sleep- I should have learnt my geography well! I love traveling and yet I am often confused with directions and maps. But you see, it was fun to do the MCQ for geography map reading section without a map. As a Geography representative aka the geo rap for my class, I always didnt take a map for myself because I know I dont know how to read and I might as well jus anyhow choose A to D for the questions, so dont need map! Luckily my essays are good enough to forgo a good grade for my map reading section. Congrats.

How I am feeling right now. SOS, you can guess what it means.

I gotten the answer that I want to know. In the morning when I saw your text message, actually I feel insecured. Insecured, because you made the point; insecured because I knew what you said was right.

In the end it was jus words, that I feel should be the core, rather than any game.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Ya I also think so.

And so the weekend passed me by. 5, or rather 4, more days before weekend. Suddenly I seemed ok without a weekend. But ok I need sleep.

Was in course and guess largely due to the fact that I travel to foreign lands for conference I start to notice and talk to the classmates in class, whom were mostly for Indonesia. They talk about the places they have been in Singapore, sprouting names to be as if they have lived here all their lives and once again making me try to think of my hometown to be a place like I have jus set foot on after a train journey. But yet, it makes me wonder if Singapore is also a foreign place to me, that I am a tourist yet to visit. Because I dont have any photo of me with Sir Raffles; I hadnt been to Clarke Quay in years (other than a department lunch last year at one of the hotels there); neither had I taken the DHL Ballon (I took the Singapore Flyer also because my company pays for mine). All in all I dont have the pictorial proof of me in Singapore. I buy Singapore postcards but I dont own any, making me seems like an invisible tourist of Singapore.

Yet this is also the place that I grew up in.

I hesitated for a while and decided to look. Maybe I have no right to comment but still I feel that I ...

You know ya.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Thank you.

Always think there is no need to say, but still thank you.

Long ago, but should have bought the top.

The Greek Masterpiece from Louvre at the National Museum of Singapore (exhibition ending this coming Sunday)

Supposedly the most handsome "man" among the exhibits.

The 130 pieces were of course a chip of the Louvre but it was supposedly the largest number of pieces to ever be transported out of Paris.

The significance of seeing the pieces is that I might have seen them in Paris and now they have flew to my homeland. And the significance of seeing them together was sort of a second, in fact the third, chance already. Maybe this is considered the lucky part, because how many times is there the third chance. The first in Paris was probably a week apart. The second ended in a slight unhappiness and very silent cereal. The idea of dropping off to visit the museum on my own soften to becoming another attempt the following week. This time, in midst of rain and sunshine, throwing my slides aside for a while and the silly I-forget-my-wallet-and-so-we-must-walk-back-to-get-it and that dont-know-will-go-until-where tunnel, we joined in this english tour. Simply put across to us were many histories, flings, love, death, war, lives, background, stories, illustration, restoration work, I was deeply engrossed. Listening, I came to realise that I was constantly educated and surrounded by the many greek figures, jus that I hadnt realise, Venus, Cupid, Neop, Aeop, Columius the giant (I am sure I got the spelling wrong but I learnt about him in my secondary 1/2 literature).

Still always turning round to look out for I-supposedly-always-in-silly-troubles-me, asking if I can see, and getting me to stand in front of the crowd so that I can stop jumping over the heads or trying to peek in between of heads.

The lighting thought of visiting Dublin was mostly scattered when told that nothing much, things all so expensive, and that I cant be imaged to be in Edinburg for this scotland capital sells fresh air and natural scenery. Well, I am sure I am such a girl too, when I am not H&M-ing or Mango-ing.

Recalling the places that I want to visit- Venice at 17 years of age, Prague in 2006 and Prague again now, Italy probably in 2007, and now (and almost always) Greece.

I am going to try to travel more, because I love, and because I find myself growing more curious of the world when I keep learning more than what the silly me in here would have know. Supposedly (if I didnt get the name wrong) Pluto's teacher said that, "I only know one thing for sure, that is I know nothing". Of course he too said that "Beware of the emptiness in the busy life".

I wonder where next I will be, and how traveling would be to me then.

Left, and I told myself that the moment the bus first appears in front of me, whatever the ipod sings will apply to me. My silly game came to the point that sings this isnt love.

And I am fighting for time to read `Letters from Prague by Sue Gee, which I enjoyed quite abit largely because I too had been at Gare du Nord and in trains crossing borders, because I had my share of sleeping (alone) in a foreign country, and because I had my jourey of the gothic architecture and Hotel de Ville. So I find reading the book to be a illlusionary escape to the Europe.

This post was written while on the bus home and yes I will now embrace my slides before pangs of guilt and panic set in.

Jus a day away from msn I already find it a distance.

Before I woke up to look at the text messages, I already dreamt of the reply. Jus that its not the Keep it up.... message, but the call me when you wake up. So after going through the slides, got a feel of how the slides could be. More work before I rush out for the museum.

I should steer clear of the mess, (make myself) move towards a less messy world and stay there.

Going through the slides from #1 again, to fill in the blanks. Not as if I already settle the slides already. Lost track of what more to add in.

I dont like the role that I am playing, but it really is c-a-n-t. Maybe life's all about imperfection, disappointment, struggles and set-backs.

Depressed.

From Google images, Edinburg, Scotland

From google images, Dublin, Ireland

To keep my spirits high, to take my mind off the slides for a while and to learn geography...

Dont know if I will be going Vienna-Prague-Budapest. So how about London-Dublin-Edinburg?

Progress. In between of slide # 15 and # 16, with a few unconfirmed and uncompleted slides in front, as well as un-linked slides.

Totally depressed, despite coke-d. Because I dont have confident with the slides as of yet (maybe later when its more completed I will have?), I dont know how long more the slides need, I dont know how long more I can go on, and jus when I (second attempt) plan for a museum trip tomorrow, I dont have the camera.

I dont have the right since I am not using the camera for work, since this is the o-n-l-y camera left at home, since I am not urgent.

Totally (very) depressed. The song that I have been listening from morning when I start working on the slides till now suddenly becomes super duper zuper depressing.

How many more disappointment am I supposed to take in. Why am I always the one who is in the position to (have to) give in. Miss one chance to up, lost my thumb-drive (and keep silent about it until I probe), deal with aloof-ness, missed some dinners, missed a museum trip, forgot my camera, cant use the camera.

How many more can I take. I really feel so sick, so teary.

I am stress. Before the alarm clock rings, I am awake. Tired but awake. I hope I can finish the slides by today.



Where is coke.

Now already finished, but this was what kept my spirits up last week.

The Flyer experience had been quite interesting.

Morning meeting, buffet lunch with my department then meeting, and then the flyer. We walked over and I kept wondering why I cant see the wheel move at all. Have lots of questions about how the wheel works. As we got nearer to the wheel, the moment I see it move, I thought its totally interesting! Er maybe I screamed? Our department and another gotten our own private capsule. How cool is that!

The capsule wouldnt stop to wait for you to board, so you have to take advantage of its swing and "hop" onto it. When inside, you can feel it move, then when the capsule comes to this angle where it is moving up, you can feel the jerk abit. But still stable enough for you to take photos, take photos and well you can take alot photos (and videos) since the one cycle takes 30 minutes.

Since I took the flyer at around 330pm, it was rather bright and sunny out there. Which is miracle considering the whole week of rain and storm and clouds. After reaching the "peak" we start to feel slightly tired and stop the jump-around-talk-aloud-and-take-photos behaviour and chose to sit down and enjoy the view.

After you alight the capsule, you come to this gift shop, that we were told, unless you take the flyer you cant go into the shop or buy the magnet. And so I gotten my magnet.

Totally feel like I am a (Singaporean) tourist.

Singapore Flyer...

The capsule doesnt stop so you have to "jump" onto it.

Flying in the air...

Stuck high up.

This is what you see...

Thats me...

Hehe.

30minutes for 1 round, enough chances to photo-taking.