While a run during lunch is attractive, shopping for decors is all the more sexy. Intention to get noodles soup for lunch was abandoned when we were told the shop wouldnt open till 6pm. But the fish porridge, popiah and fruit juice were jus as tasty.

Yet, everything today seems different.

Sleepy and yes, hungry like a pig!

Not that it is easy to hear bad news at work and remain calm, but it is worse to cope when you hear that in life. At least it was tough for me, as if somewhere out there a voice would (and had) scream out bad news to me, which I obviously hadnt been all that calm. It happens all again and all over again.

Other than the residue from yesterday's drama, I was sleepy and restless much through the first half of the day. Now I realised I am waiting for after Friday but I am thankful for everything that happened, everything under the Calling.

To realise that if I really had to choose, I will pick work over life because technically its work over nothing.

I found myself feeling so unfamiliar in a supposedly familiar environment, familiar environment to everyone but me. Then it suddenly dawn on me that perhaps other than my unwillingness to pay money to do something that dont really interest me as well plus the lack of companion to hit the cinema and of course my laziness, I could be afraid of being enclosed in a confined space (claustrophobia) and being in a dark place (lygophobia). Oh great, so now more fears on the list when I am already scared of everything.

But the entire experience of being in an enclosed big room surrounded by darkness and made to take a seat and preferably not go anywhere till the movie ends isnt all that comfortable to me (and my property).

So anyway I did enjoy the movie (jus not quite the whole movie experience), the best part being the humour. At some point in time I had to tell myself to stop being practical and live in that hero-and-villian-always-fighting, I-can-do-anything-in-this-city and I-can-fly-I-can-beat-I-can-hide-I-can-do-anything dimension. It also took me a while to recognise the faces and match them with their characters, but other than that I did enjoy the actions and appreciate how the whole movie was being directed. The part where the "pirated joker" wearing the batman uniform got smashed onto a window pane did gave me a shock though.

I would think it is God's calling that the length of 3 (or 4) seats was not the only distances apart; essentially I am the distance.

One of the fun (and troublesome because it consists of so many little, little tasks) thing I do at work is being part of the organising committee for the upcoming National Day celebration. I always find it fun when I really devote myself into whatever role I have in the committee. The last time I had such official fun was making the Jay Chou video clip and hearing everyone laugh over it. So amidst preparing for the tunnel concert, I joined the rest yesterday in decorating up the Multiple Purpose Hall for the big day with little triangular flags, strips of white & red & silver, and the still-undecided-facing-each-other dragon flags, cutting sticky tapes and tearing blue tacks and tying ribbons. Not forgetting all the emails and websites and phone announcements.

(photos soon)

Trust is too dangerous a factor that it should never be allowed to come to play. Its not a matter of trusting or not, but about knowing or not.

Its quite a thing to go all the way to get the race pack but I bet I will be excited come December. Doing things like this, keep the spirits alive. My first 10km.

I really need some sleep because 3 hours isnt going to last me any longer, definitely not two days straight.

Jus that it happens again. No longer am I confused, unconvinced or even a single ting of anger/upset. Which isnt a good thing, because either it means I have gone through it before, or I dont really care. But the truth is, I have gone through it at least once and the truth is, I care. This truth belongs to someone's privacy and it jus happens that I know about it.

I knew something (like this) bad will be around the corner (it cant be this good to me), jus that I didnt know it will come in this form, this soon. I thought I would be right this time, but even now I stilll think the choice would be right if. Only if. If its mine I still want it. If it would be mine, I still want it. But it isnt, and the truth makes it a wouldnt.

All I can say is, its like getting all the toto numbers right, or hitting the nail on the head or even finding the needle in the sea.

I am disappointed, but I still want to believe in you. Whether in the same exact manner of belief before I really know the truth, or jus in the form of establishment now that I know.

If this is the calling of God, then I am hoping the calling of God will show me the R-I-G-H-T way, for once please.

I left the calling to the duration of the 6 songs on my ipod, which left me doing 3.66km. To be frank, even when I was running I was still crying terribly and its the absolute great thing that the gym is as empty at 7:30 in the morning as always.

But anything wet makes me good- runs, cries, swims, sweats, showers, even nice smelling shampoo and shower gel. I know nothing of them were magical enough to solve all the issues thats pressing upon me, but at least after the 1 hour of indulgence in all these wet affairs, I told myself its time to stop feeling but to start doing. It seems weak to be crying, but if crying (and all the others) allow me to release my emotions, and I am totally back on the working mode, I dont see why not.

There are alot of other little things that come along the way thoughout the day, and my boss was right about this is life. As like others who tried to get it through to me, yes. In fact, he was in a beautiful mood and I was totally (and positively) influenced by him. Something along the line of you are happy and I am happy.

So I brushed them aside, because really I will focus on whats important.

On a positive (and tunnel) note (and thanks to LY for the msn message), I am very rainbow.

At this point in time I would have said I wanna leave everything behind and go for a holiday. Despite for being back from one 2 months ago, so many things have happened and so much issues at work.

But at this moment, no I didnt intend to say that and I truly not feel that I want to go away. Either there is jus too much fighting spirit in me (that despite feeling dejected I am not going away) or I am insane.

I was crying the moment I stepped onto the concrete tiles out in the open by the cafe before the traffic lights. I opt to walk a different path today- rather than by the malls, I was walking across the memorial ground. The moment I passed the memorial ground, my tears burst, jus the way the fountains flow and all the way till I reached office.

I am running under mere 3 hours of sleep, tremendous stress and lots of issues (either unsolvable or waiting for me to resolve).

I wish I am totally convinced in saying that I will quit trying so hard because its tiring. While I appreciate every little thing everyone around me has been chipping into my life, I will leave the calling to God- to tell me when/what to stop and to tell me when/what to continue trying.

Do people make 1 mistake and never be given a chance, or always regarded to be so.

The excitement of having a Mac meal is greater than biting into the burger itself, which is weird since I love Mac meals so much so that each Mac meal is pretty sacred (other than the have-to-eat when overseas). But at least I gotten myself a Mac/Coke/Olympic cup. The cup is really pretty, which as usual anything Coke is as tempting as anything pink.

Energy level low, motivation low as well. Maybe I am waiting for the run tomorrow but Mac meals/ coke/ fries with salt is supposed to perk me up.

Something seems to be missing. Not that I dont know what, jus that I didnt want to know either.

I am starting to feel the same way. The same way that I would have used to think to be un-progressive and unambitious.

But now I would have thought, living a day by itself, taking slow but a willing pace suitable for me towards progression is satisfying enough. I dont want to see myself lost in grabbing more money (or at least feeling all the work pressure for money reasons and not for personal satisfaction), moving houses more so often to even call them my home, or lavishly spends on branded and numerous holidays and food and lifestyle.

Because I am happy buying affordable clothing when there are sales, because I am happy going on one good holiday a year, because I am happy to buy my affordable H&M when I can, because I am easy with food and I dont always need small portions of high class arty food, because I am happy with occasional good food, because I am happy with my runs and swims, because I am made to be happy this way. Even if all these dont always make me happy, I feel peaceful the way I am. (So dont bend or mould me into your (desired) lifestyle, thats what I dislike most)

Because if living the days that I used to get by with a little more as I can now afford, is not enough then making myself happy moving ahead will become more and more difficult. This is what I feel.

Because if all the things are jus wants and not needs, how much more wants should I pamper on myself, or what other bigger and better or more expensive things would I need to make myself progressively happier moving ahead.

Because if its not mine, having them in the first place would have make it worse to go through losing them. Not all memories all nice to keep.

Because if I would be there, I would be there somehow one day.

I will be, no matter how fast other people were ahead of me, or how much better these other people are. As long as I live my way without them whining in front of me, I am fine. More than jus fine.

Perhaps one day I would have a different mentality towards my life but as of now, I am taking a step at a time. Good enough to be surrounded with my-always family, my positively cheerful and upright occasional companion and the few other friends that I still bothered to keep in touch with no matter what excuses I gave the others that I dont bother. Say I am a loner, say I am independent, say I am lazy, say I am arrogant but I am no longer that bothered with what other people say/think of me as long as they leave me whoever I am.

Super duper me.

Cloth into dress by the tailor

Enjoying my goodies from Vienna, banana tainted chocolate and coke

I jus love lying on the bed with no intention to fall asleep but jus enjoying the non-mobile warmth of my blanket and boster and pillows. Yes, anytime, even if its summer.

I love the feeling of falling in love, with new songs. From the start of picking which new ones to listen to based on their titles or singers, to listening to them, to liking them. Most of the time the songs will hook on me if the lyrics is relevant to what I have/am going through.

Whats of the week to look forward to: 2 presentations, as usual my runs (no more swimming for a month when the Lunar 7 month starts), the batman movie on Wednesday (only costs me $3!), watching Viet travel show on Thursday, maybe (window/art) shopping on Saturday, art & craft on Sunday.

te quiero

muy

pensamiento de usted

realizar cuando usted sea ausente de nuevo
no somos debajo de la misma manta de cielos
creo que de usted mas de normalmente

pero,
¿ tengo el la derecha?
me pregunto
para pensar de usted en este manera

incluso si
ahora estoy mas en paz
con todo sobre usted
soy desaparecido usted
estoy pensando en usted
sigue esperando

con todo,
la esperanza esta funcionando hacia fuera
soy cansado
permaneciamos en donde estabamos del comienzo

When am I getting this look back. I actually miss this part of my Prague memories. Maybe one day in two.

Even though its a stay-home weekend, there seems to be enough things to keep myself occupied, albeit there are merely sleeping, reading papers, doing work, surfing, listening to music, watching tv, watching more dramas and reading. Is this a good sign, or a worse one, that I am increasingly about to keep myself occupied without out there making or maintaining friendships. i.e. socialise. But come 5 weekdays in a row where I would come home with a tired (or even aching) body that is only willing to watch tv and sleep by 11pm so much so when its weekend all I wanted was jus to rest enough and indulge in anything that allows me that much of desired rest.

No grumbles jus that I really hope everything is worth everything. But how about is it time to give me another focus in life to call mine.

下雨天 by 南拳妈妈

下雨天了怎么办
我好想你
不敢打给你
我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景
做你的代替
陪我听雨滴
期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞
一个人擦泪
一个人好累
怎样的雨
怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实
没有我你分不清那些
彻别
接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉
期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞
一个人擦泪
一个人好累
怎样的雨
怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实
没有我你分不清那些
彻别
接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉
怎样的雨
怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大
天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
其实
没有我你分不清那些
彻别
接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

The pink stress ball from my boss, on my yellow ducky

To trust more, to rely less.

Yesterday's travel show had the host travelled in train to reach the northest most of Norway. Which brought me back to the train travelling memories, those Paris-Bath and Vienna-Prague-Vienna train travelling memories. I love train rides. Especially when it is so amazing to see people living in a totally different environment as me.

*

The morning was alright, jus that the response was not as anticipated.

Who?
Your buddy.

Almost a year already.

Like it?
Ya.

Really?

Yes really.

I like the art alot more when it was created. Then the liking cooled off a little until yesterday I saw it again yesterday and like it once again. But I shouldnt be the person to like it since its not meant from the start anyway.

*

The Ya Kun guys were toasting bread at #14, which is a total first time to smell the burnt of toast from even #20. But yes, jus kaya, no butter- I dont like the smell.

*

Am thinking if to do the 10km in December. And my stamina, even gastic, was ok for the second 3km run in 2 days straight, jus the grip-of-the-leg kind of irritation. But its been one of the longest distance I ran in a week-9km over mornings and lunches. I didnt want to pace them too near because, distant makes the heart fonder.

There was no plans for lunch because I might jus have to do my runs over lunch or probably work commitments.

But the discussion ended and nothing in me that screams out loud that I should stay behind over lunch to do more work. So because of the discount card that I have, lunch was taken at FR. And I opt for prawn dumplings bee hoon soup because it was (supposed to be) tasty and because I was craving for soup. But the bowl hardly satisfy a proper lunch (portion is so small that I think I can still have steamboat anytime), let alone my cravings for hot and nice soup. It was like oil in hot water rather than prawn soup.

It wasnt all bad because finally there is some catching-up in midst of busy work and 2 days of absence (and some absence and an anticipating-busy-next-week).

*

I dont know about you, but sitting besides different people/friends/colleagues give me a different kind of feeling thats partly to do with your relationship with the person and the person's personality.

Yesterday I felt matured and a little unfamiliar. Today, I felt calm and alittle happy in between of being somehow familiar and somehow unfamilar.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
I like doing catching-up when I am not lazy and not stubborn.

Mimi

I feel as though I am ready to go home. Energy level low at jus 4:20pm. The headache is persistent, the office is snowing crazily, running out of new songs to stimulate the brain, piles of mess all over my desk, sick of the situation that I am facing and I am looking at the same slides since morning with hardly any breakthrough (unless you considered changing colour of a call-out a breakthrough).

Running out of things that I am interested in, or (personal) projects to work on, I am thinking of changing my blog skin to something more-me. Pink is more-me than white. But again I worried of all the hassle and content loss that it remains as jus a surfing idea.

The man that sat across me on the train brought about this familiar sadness, jus that he wasnt as skinny as Papa and he wasnt as dark as Papa. So similar that I am sure the overwhelming emotions were caused by it rather than the irritation caused by make-up or the general fatigue.

I couldnt squeeze a day out as my leave, as of now. Not that I have anything big to do, but I wanted a break off tunnels plus the fact that I had been working like mad since I came back from Vienna, which was when? (Alright I had breaks on and off but still) And I wish for some time to do p-r-o-p-e-r shopping. And off the woods and (especially the) wolves.

Yet actually I am ok with whatever I am doing right now. I love the way I can/have to concentrate. Jus you know, I always wanted holidaying. Who says NO to holidaying, especially if its O-v-e-r-s-e-a-s. Which could also be because of the fact that suddenly I have this interest in holidaying (and shopping in holister) in Vietnam that I am thinking even of taking a day off (which I dont usually do that jus to stay at home). Haha.

Alright, wait for public holiday.

*

Thankful.

*

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Its a matter of getting used to it.

From google images

I think they have channeled all the internet speed to bump up the air conditioning speed. Bleah. How else to explain the slow crawling online speed and the extra boast to the air cond power.

The irony is, if everyone is wearing a mask in life then why are t-h-e-s-e everyone still so (super duper) concerned over their "faces" since they are fake masks only.

It is of little amusement to recall that I am not the only one who will call the yi mee as rubber band (noodles) because of the similarities in look. Imagine I place my order as rubber band please.

And I am starting to see the possibilities of me wanting to go holiday to the with-some-french-influence Vietnam.

I am increasingly finding the relevance of chinese sayings in my life but it will kill the joy of me blogging if I would to compose my entries in chinese so you have them in english here,

Thunder is loud, but not even a drop of rain.
The elder who does not set a good example and so the followers do as suit.
Dont need to attack and already it shatters.

The busy period means its easy to miss out on the fact that it is the first time in come a year that I dont know the whereabout. Not entirely, but still.

The fact that my name is back as the msn nick means I want to move ahead without all these already, so lets jus not remind myself of the "first time in come a year that I dont know the whereabout".

At the same time I am forcing/training/challenging myself to totally ignore UNimportant and UNprofessional people. All about tolerance.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
I am staying on silent- you wouldnt say, I wouldnt ask.

I am happy everyday, because I dont have much expectations. Unlike you, you have high expectations.

How can you put in your best but at the same time balance that without having much expectations so that you can be happy.

The movie plot to a certain extent, albeit engaging, lacks depth. The relationship has little memories to fall back on. But I especially love the concert scenes and movie soundtracks, whereby the songs that captured the little memories shared.

From (Woo) Paris

The closest I can get (to Paris)

It was as if God is telling me, there is (still) hope.

Because when I was trying to pick myself up from whatever that had happened, there came presents from Paris.

*

My mother answered the phone in the morning, looking for Si Lei. The caller mentioned she is from France and so the call was passed to me. The caller, then I found out, is Paris Aunt's sister-in-law. She has wanted to meet me at the station in 15 minutes.

And so at the station, I was looking out for someone I dont know, trying to imagine everyone that walked pass me to be her. To be someone who has been living in Paris.

Then I received a call from her to realise that she was on my right. She, and her husband (Paris Aunt's brother), and mother and son. She passed me a huge plastic bag, so huge that it overwhelmed me. The conversation was brief but friendly, because they were heading somewhere else. Looking at her sister-in-law, I somehow feel as though I was looking at Paris Aunt. And knowing they have came all the way from the Paris that I went almost a year ago, it seems everything amazing.

I came home to realise that Paris Aunt has given me 3 (super duper zuper) pretty and usable handbags, and a wallet. She left the wallet in one of the handbags and I didnt realise it until my sister found something hard in there.

**

I suddenly love Paris much, much more than the famous Eiffel Tower, much more than its Louvre Museum, much more than the loving and romantic atmosphere that everyone likes of it, or even much more than the Paris Disneyland that I very much love.

Suddenly Paris, once again, feels all so familiar, and all so warming (dont remind me of all the rains and cold temperatures that I endured when I was there).

Suddenly Paris is one of the places where I want to go back again, one of the places that I will think about, one of the places that I have fond memories of.

All because of her.

***

Come Monday, I will be fine. Actually, I will be better than jus fine. I am sure I now possessed enough motivation to keep me long and great.

With the brown and cream leather handbag from Paris, the leather pretty wallet from Paris, and the small mirror from Paris.

****

Sounds like an early Christmas that I have gotten.

Before I can Majulah (which means move forward), I need to get this out.

1. Accounting: Incurrence of payable
2. Physics: Dont push a (real, concrete, actual, physical) wall
3. Chemistry: Surplur
4. English: Hello
5. Chinese (saying): Put a long line to catch a big fish
6. Chinese (saying): An army is not build over one day
7. Maths: You give ten 10cents for a $1 item
8. Geography: Hill hole
9. History: Every event in history has a date
10. Entertainment: Its not funny

Alright forget.

N&N is a fake brand of M&M chocolates that other than carrying the pirated chocolate label is nothing near chocolate.

The red jacket that I once wore, with the black tee tucked below, casted a shadow over my desk. A little tiny sting of smile.

Which I was thinking what makes me happy realising that satisfaction is not equivalent to happiness.

Separate issue. Give me a break will you, Miss. If you never read emails then h-e-l-l-o please read before writing another email asking hello-the-same-issue. Irritating.

I didnt even care I came home wearing my running attire with heels.

Because the main priorities now are my project and going home and sleeping well.

I hate running in the sun, I hate running up slopes and I hate running when I know I am not fit. Everything is an excuse when you dont finish (alright technically I finished but I stopped too many times throughout the run of (supposedly) mere 4.4km). The very first instant when I stopped, I knew it meant I wouldnt have the determination to hang on till I reach the finishing line. And I hate that.

I hope this is the only thing at this moment that I am failing. But this doesnt mean that I will stop running because only then would I fail in its entirely.

The one thing that made me smile today is

I Decide Anyway

I started working much earlier than usual and worked through lunch and I am totally exhausted by now. Where did all the energy go to.

(Sort of) Looking forward to tomorrow's run other than the fact that I have some work due Thursday morning and a tired body (read: bad excuse). I hope everything goes on well, fingers crossed.

I supposed God (and everyone else) would like to see a happier me so perhaps I should work along this line. Alright, I am naive and (overly) simple but at least I am still trying. Everything thats keeping me moving, from the yaki ramen and cold green tea, fat koi fish sunbaking in the shallow pond, the busy workload (that makes weekend ever more precious), the runs and swims, the sunflower chinese, the beautiful new songs. Even the pretty dark blue (almost black) nails. Every little thing.

Of course. And I know why. Who gives up on fun and benefits.

When there are people at work flying overseas, they start talking about flights and transits and airports and planes (and got me excited).

My heart is (almost) in Budapest by now.

Another recent favorite song


蔡旻佑- Stay with Me

放飞心情
日光离开夜
钢琴键离开了指尖
小提琴离开了音乐
泪水离开眼
五线谱离开了和弦
我却离不开你的画面
找遍世界
想找一种永远
在你周围
想留住时间
stay with me
留你在我身边
把眼泪埋进我胸前
把一切抛弃在后面
stay with me
不准让你走远
你是这个世界
唯一相信的不变
夕阳离开街
十二点离开了昨天
偶像剧离开了配乐
听你的誓言
像音符弹奏在耳边
我们的爱没有完结篇
找遍世界
想找一种永远
在你周围
想留住时间
stay with me
留你在我身边
把勇气放进心里面
把一切不可能实现
stay with me
不准让你走远
世界那么善变
爱是唯一的不变
stay with me
留你在我身边
把勇气放进心里面
把一切不可能实现
stay with me
不准让你走远
世界那么善变
爱是唯一的不变
你是这个世界
唯一相信的不变
oh~~

My eyes hurt again. But I am definitely feeling more upbeat now, considering the nice japan fried yaki ramen lunch with the cold (and nice) green tea and the visit to the koi pond. One of my favorite place in the mall, other than the roof top pool and the water fountain. I laughed and I think I feel better after a laugh. I supposed a big cry or a run work well on me too.

Let me tell you how you can stop creating troubles for me: Stop Talking to Me!

Enough is enough.

My eyes are painful and I wish for a spring-board soul.

Black, or white?

White!

Right, my 5,000th post.

The 4,999th post.

When the mall is in itself a playground that pulls together two goodbyes to another hey-hi.

The simple tune and cutey lyrics are what makes me addicted to the song.

Even if the second thing in the morning (first was the alive conversation) was all about things thats beyond my control, and that after a few thoughts decide to simply work and ignore whats said to be the truth, or whats said to be by others. Naive or simply get tied down by all these so-called facts would largely depend on The Results, but I chose to be naive.

ST001482 at 75cents. Awaiting something new.

You make me cry

if you really want to compare, then you compare with those people in sichuan earthquake or african kids with no food.

I was feeling alright over the weekend other than the danger of crossing the line between feeling bored and feeling depressed. It always seem like the case.

So I filled up the morning with grocery shopping and treating the hair with the olive oil, and afternoon with the nap. But I upset myself for questioning about my worth. Which is the main reason why I have never been a fan for class gatherings. Friends gathering are fine, but not class gatherings. I dont like feeling distant from people but trying to feel close to them. I dont like to feel lost in the crowd, not knowing what to say or what to do. I dont like to update people of my life because I dont have anything achievable or interesting to share. Who would be interested to know that I swim and jog three times a week or that I am allergic to sweet potatoes. I dont like to compare myself with others (which I am doing now) and I dont like to be compared to others (it makes me feel inferior because I am not sure of myself). Because even if I am left alone I have been trying very hard in life so it gets worse if otherwise.

You know, at this point in time I think I will be back to good (or at least being better) if you talk to me about life, about anything.

Like how I like who Dal Ja is, finding similarities between myself and her other than she is 33 years old. I dont have experience in life but I am trying. I work hard because my job is important to me like I have nothing more important. But the difference is, she took a fall, got back on her feet and finally got her Spring because he (not maybe but) must be the one so everything was right in place.

Twice, out of the (only) three times. But its enough for me to enjoy eating steamboat with you most, when I could fish and scope out the ingredients and land them onto another bowl to find my own fully filled. You make me feel like family.

Cannot understand the route map

Because I am bored and running out of things that I want to do, I am going to the supermarket with the family first thing tomorrow morning to stock up everything that I want. The olive oil for the hair, the chilli pepper paste for the rice, the chilli pepper for the sandwiches, the instant noodles for the supper, and then the art&craft for the creativity time. Bored enough to already thought of what to wear from Monday to Thursday the coming week. Bored enough to stop watching Dal Ja and Tae Bong for a while. Bored enough to think of painting my nails to dark violet. Bleah.

The new laptop

Haha

When you are bored your laptop gets new wallpaper, one that makes me feel more hopeful.

And because I have nothing better to do and nothing better to surf, I thought I could pretty much find a solution to dry (and lifeless) hair caused by chlorine in the pool. Oh well yes I never seem to be concerned about it do I. But alright since I am interested, doesnt matter if its alittle un-me.

And so its right to "to saturate your hair with conditioner before heading to the beach or pool". I actually laughed the moment I imagined how I jump into the pool with a head full of foam. But well, I have gotten the small bottle of conditioner that we all get from the hotels and on my way to getting myself a swimming cap.

"To have beautiful, lustrous, shiny, silky and dandruff free hair, olive oil is the best bet. You can apply good amount of oil on your hair and cover it with a shower cap for 30 minutes, later shampoo it." So I need olive oil too.

Gotten myself a bottle of baby oil and man its oily! I supposed it works better than those manufactured sugar cane that I use (and like) in getting smoother, softer, healthier looking skin.

*

蔡旻佑 - 台北21℃

翻个身我可以赖床睡觉
也可以打手机找你闲聊
台北21度C慵懒情调
让爱情的感觉不多不少

逛的街有咖啡香的味道
和你一起吃出炉的面包
台北21度C气氛刚好
适合牵着手也适合拥抱

你的好我全都知道
但顺其自然的感觉更好
我爱陪着你笑爱陪你思考
想着想着累了就一起睡着

你我全都知道
但爱不是说了就会可靠
未来是晴天雨天不会知道
但有一天我们绝对到的了

逛的街有咖啡香的味道
和你一起吃出炉的面包
台北21度C慵懒情调
让爱情的感觉不多不少
好我全都知道

Look out of the window and you can see fireworks that read Jumbo Elephant is 49 kg.

Scream: Mr Elephant, in its attempt to become Mr Giraffe, is down to 49 kg

Having friends that spread postive magnetism is such a good thing; you feel happier when within their magnetic fields. Even if you dont turn totally happy, you get bit of influence from them.

Yet, if some companion are of total and lifelong negative fields, sometimes its better to walk the walk alone. Like how I will distant myself from people when I feel that I am incapable in being a proper me.

So, put me in a happy field: I dont like to listen to whines or all the want-to-have luxury things in life (thats only practical for the rich) or all the worries of the future (whats the point when I am trying to think simple and be happy when on the other hand all these) all day long (I mean one, two days are fine, but not every single day).

What I learnt from the 13 sort hours of Dal Ja and Tae Bong is that as they are learning to get along to each other and overcome their individual fears and insecurity and helplessness, there will always be this moment when they will have a sincere conversation about it. And its all these little things that add up to knowing someone, to being comfortable around, and to be move ahead without never knowing and then making the same mistake the next time. Something useful, I think.

And another best thing of the show is, how great Dal Ja always look in her office and home wear. I think every day's a new piece!

Track 10 of the new album is great. Since listening to it the first time Fri morning, the scene, the lyrics and the tune jus makes me want to listen it again. It makes me feel relaxed, happy and hopeful. Even if I started off liking track 9. But track 9 is too sad, and I couldnt quite relate to the lyrics other than getting me into the groomy mood. T-H-E favorite song for the album.

When I am stressed or tired, I cut my nails, cant tell which toe is injuried and dont feel like talking. There you go, all 3 today.

v2

I came home and tried to create that 280-bucks-styled hair but its jus different using another dryer, another hand. It could jus be one little drop of water in the ocean but I will remember the drop of water that wet the hair, that drop that evaporated from the hair. What I meant is I felt the warm air gushing through the cold hair, and the warm touch that makes it such a nice feeling. And yes who else (that silly to) blow dry their hair to then run a wet comb through their hair than me.

The afternoon mood and work pace were lighter, mainly because I was hitting saturation point, and because I was at the same time working with the guys on the National Day email that will go out come Monday. But come end of the day I was too exhausted from NSEW that I wanted to leave early and alone with my music to realise that a part of me was jus being stubborn.

So with the thought of stop-being-stubborn and the words came out before me, I grabbed the idea.

Then I think I saw this guy from college. Wondering if he is the Sunny I knew back then in school, especially when he didnt seem to acknowledge/recognise me. I think I definitely look tanner than the Sunny back then.

I wasnt very much into the idea of MLC (or whatever name it was) ever since the wrapper was removed. It was a can-try, can-dont-try thingy. Rather it was the extra 10-15 minutes that I want, jus like how I wouldnt even want stop to peek into the shops along the mall, willingly in fact. There is always other time for that. It was also the extra sharing, the extra memory. And I have that piece in my mind- when I can laugh out naturally loud, when I feel comfortable and simple. Maybe Parkway Parade flower ice cream next, and I hesitate before saying the fish head bee hoon soup and soft tofu.

Am glad that I've worked on the art back then because even when sitting in the train and thinking about whether I should get more art&craft material from the bookstore makes me feel tired. It was jus all about me wanting to maintain the 6 hours of sleep, 3 times a week of exercise, at least 2 hours of after-work entertainment and this, leaving even the heart and the knee cap feeling tired.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
台北21℃

69

wahh
cut by half!!!

In the process

And so I am clean, dry and with no strands of hair sticking out of my face. Which makes me happy.

The simplest thing of sitting there to get the hair dry, and dry all over again when I used the wet comb to wet the hair accidentially. The sit on the bench, in the school-uniform like dress.

Sometimes when you are so stressed up in your own (literally) corner, you feel as if you are being isolated or ignored or very alone. But everything will be fine and I should enjoy my process.

The new album sounds totally lively, young and happy. Which will put me through the day.

One happy thing, it would have been 1pm now but its 831am!

Morning

The moment I left the office today, realising that I am alone, I nearly teared until I thought of

- the girlfriend who text if I am busy because she hadnt seen me on gmail recently
- the senior at work who told me to hang on it, because thats the way how things are
- the colleague who told me to go down to #14 for food

and that at least finally its home that I am heading back to.

Its tiring to feel that I am alone, and even if I feel it, I guess I am way too tired to feel lonely.

99

Scream 109.

And so its out.

If not for the fact that a set of korean rice can get me two chinese packed rice, I would have been happy to have that everytime I pack lunch from downstairs. Because everytime Dal Ja eats it, it makes me drool and when finally today I have it again, I am convinced what I see is what I get, and I love what I am getting in that bowl.

As if it was Jackie Chan's Rush Hour. Plus the fact that when the IT system went out I am left feeling totally lost and helpless.

It didnt help when the SOS seems to be unanswered.

But I am sure it did make me understand that it is me who cant do without my project, and not the other way round. Totally so. Jus like how Dal Ja couldnt do without her job, that same way.
At least with the white and brown stripped turtle neck long sleeves sweater with a short sleeve outer jacket, its something new for me today.

Looking forward to the swim tomorrow morning and as much TV as I can afford over the weekend.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Feeling dejected, uncertain, anxious, stress all at the same time.

Its not until a point where I cant take it, jus that come each end of the day I jus want to go home, have dinner, shower, watch tv and sleep enough to wake up for tomorrow. All thats in my mind, is my project.

There are always 1000 reasons for me to go home timely but there are then 1000 reasons for me to work longer hours. I am seeing progress, jus that at 120, I am far from first draft.
I think its also because of my determination in maintaining the amount of sports in my life thats why my energy level is limited to each day of usage.

The fact however is I actually think I like what I am doing now, which keeps me disciplinarily occupied. I get more worried than angry; I get more tired than troubled. There seems to be no other problems in my life that I will have time/want to dwell on it other than my project.
I mean I know my project can do without me, thats for sure, its jus whether I can, at this moment, lead a lifestyle without my project. And I know by saying no, I am enjoying it to this extent.

Jus that I need coke, haha!

And, the most touching was when Kang Tae Bae said, "Will you be my girlfriend for a month. When we develop personal feelings for each other, then we will date".

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
My only problem that I dwell on is my tunnel.

Cringe

The contrasting life between reading in emails about friends getting caterers for the big day and myself plunging into a pool of reading materials about tunnels, and now ducts and networks while eating breakfast.

And a warm bao.

I have never think much about my food allergies because the allergies had not affected me or my eating habits in too big a way.

I mean I am alright in avoiding the food that I have allergies of- sweet potato (orange and purple), carrot (orange and possibly white- raddish) raw coconut (in huge quantity), 100plus, squid ink. I mean how much sweet potato I eat other than those that my mother will steam, or in sweet potato soups.

Until yesterday, when I see how it can affect the people around me as well, especially when they have to consider the food that I cant eat during ordering, then it irritates me. Especially when my favorite steamboat meals occasionally involves food items such as carrots, raddish and speciality sweet potato noodles.

My term of allergies, SYachecism.

Some know-hows of food allergies

1. Up to 15% of the population report having had adverse food reactions.

2. Many individuals have themselves noted that they are prone to develop adverse reactions to a specific food. They have then dealt with the problem by simply avoiding that food without ever seeking the advice of a doctor.

3. People are constantly being diagnosed with Chronic candidiasis, Yeast allergy or Sugar allergy.

4. Once nut allergy is sensitised in childhood, allergy is usually life long and rarely decreases in severity. Only 10% will outgrow nut allergy, while 80% or more will outgrow egg allergy.

5. Other pollen-food allergic syndromes include Grass pollen allergic rhinitics who have oral allergy to Melon, Orange. Ragweed allergic people may react to Melon and Banana, while Mugwort allergic react to Apple, Carrot, Celery and Melon. People who are sensitised to natural latex in rubber gloves, catheters etc may react in a similar way to Avocado, Banana, Chestnut and Kiwi fruit and may even develop anaphylaxis to these foods.

6. We have seen a rapid rise in the incidence of food allergy in recent years - mainly nut allergy due to the increased consumption of tropical nuts in the UK.

7. Another interesting allergic manifestation seen in adults is that of Exercise Induced Anaphylaxis. In this condition, patients develop itching, urticaria, angioedema and upper airway obstruction with bronchospasm during or shortly after strenuous exercise taking place within a few hours of eating certain foods. This allergic condition may occur up to 12 hours after eating wheat, celery and shellfish especially prawn. These patients have no reaction to the foods if at rest. It is most commonly seen in female athletes usually under the age of 30years.

8. Allergies could be due to genetic background, home environment or modest exposure to the common aeroallergens and allergenic foods.

And yes people do have allergies towards banana. To read more: http://www.allergy-clinic.co.uk/food_allergy_for_public.htm

There is a mini discussion that we shall bring along our winter melon the next time we go to the nice-but-expensive steamboat.

Lunch meeting...

And so I left the office at 5:30pm (happily, even though I worried about walking long distances with the pair of nice-looking-but-not-so-comfortable heels). At least for once I am not heading home.

Dinner is at this almost empty Tanyuto at Liang Court gave us alot of privacy and this little feeling as if we booked the whole place. The white soup is impressive, with herbals swimming around the huge pot. I am easy with food but we each pick some ingredients and ended up with winter melon, raddish, spinach, mix platter of dumplings, sweet potato noodles, fried chicken cubes and abalone mushroom. Everything is great. There is nothing that I dont like, even though I totally cant eat sweet potato. I really have this allergy for anything sweet-potato. And even though initially it came as a surprise that they dont have our normal kind of chilli sauce, their own kind of chilli sauce soon become an addiction. Their kind of chilli sauce consists of a bowl of mix herbals and beans, and the waitress would pour some soup into the bowl (you can add more chilli into it if you want) and it becomes an impressive bowl of sauce that we dipped everything into it.

Because I always thought the fun thing about eating steamboat is playing with food, i.e. all the throwing and stirring and if any splashing of the soup out of the pot, I was a little uncomfortable when the waitress helped us with all that. A few of them in fact stood around us the whole time and it makes us feel uncomfortable while trying to slowly decide which items to order. But generally the whole experience for a tanyuto steamboat that is twice as expensive as my all-time favorite PP (parkway parade) steamboat is great. Would have been excellent if not for the price. You can get 10% off your bill if you dine from now till their official opening date on the 18 July.

I suppose I would go back there again, but definitely not each time I crave for steamboat. Plus the fact that I am custom to the PP taste and special fried rice that at the back of my mind I always think of it somehow.

Then we walked around Clarke Quay. I know I sound super duper zuper impossible, but I have never been to CQ after all those new additions and restaurants and bars and cafes were there. I have never been to Central either. I totally feel like I am a tourist in my own country. I like how I lifted my head and see those pretty fake skies they put up. I like how those bars and cafes look so pretty with their transparent walls and white high chairs. I like how the whole atmosphere makes me feel comfortable, to the point that I think I will fall asleep in that dark environment or trying to read whats on the menu. I guess it took me so long to even come by here was because I never am a night person or a I-have-alot-of-friends person.

Of course I came home with a big blister slap on the foot.

*

I think the days ahead will see me getting more anxious.

*

My colleague asked me why I look happy today.

From google images

The swim makes me feel better but I understand that I am not a goldfish. And so my life is not (and should not be thought to be) all about swimming and hitting my laps. Neither a horse, thinking about galloping all the time. I need to get serious.


I mean I am not illusioning.


And I wouldnt want to be swimming in the sea in the rain in my heels.


But at least the pool today is sort of a preview of the bigger water out there.

The red ruby soaked in ice, ready to serve

In the process

The chicken and mix veg lunch, from NC

It is now way past my normal sleeping hours, but I was left astounded after watching the life story of David Vetter, the bubble boy (jus google to read more).

Especially when I read this

"David had always wanted to try Coca Cola, after seeing it in many commercials and hearing about it from other children, but the sterilization process required to insert it into the bubble ruined the taste. After he exited the bubble, he requested a Coke but was turned down. His mother said, "David had heard the word Coke so often on TV and from other children that he always yearned to try one. It was one of the first things he asked for when he was taken out of his bubble before he died. But the doctors decided he shouldn't have one in his frail condition."

I mean I felt angry that the doctors couldnt even give him what he wanted near the end of his life. His yearn for all the simplest things in our lives illustrate how stuck his life has been. And I still have so much questions about how he could even grow up from the fact that 10 seconds of being born, David had been inside the bubble till he passed away when he was 12.

I was looking through the photos taken in Vienna and Prague...

The white against the blue

The red, green and blue

Through the shades

Up the hill

I actually miss this, even if I had it for 5 days straight

Train from Praha to Wien

Haha

Thats Jay and thats where I sat (in the cold) making photo calls

I miss this!

The mall, Praha

Now I cant tie my hair

Praha pretty

Seems so nice to sit in this kind of environment

Yes, I miss H&M

In the train, from Wien to Praha

Haha!

Yes, there is a ice making machine

Haha

Pretty

Haha! If you can understand the picture, in order to "protect" myself (in case people barge into my room), I had that placed against the door every night.