Craving for more rides, since the last 21km at East Coast Park

The fact that I am absence from logging an entry yesterday doesnt mean that I have been spending all the time thinking about what do (I want to do), which also means I am nowhere near to being any clearer anyway. For the record, all I did was watch loads of TV, surf, chat, surf and sleep. Bleah.

And now I am thinking of seriously getting a bike (read: excuse for getting myself a birthday present I suspect) and if I do own one and if I do wake up early on a off-day like tomorrow (or the weekends), I would ride to Botanic Garden.

Riding from Clementi to Botanic Garden, very far?

Thats the little girl that I drew based on the picture I posted few days ago. And when I am lost, even the little girl I drew seemed lost, no? Something's wrong with her head too, but it was more of a small drawing session to get my mind off the thinking.

[v2]

From Google Images

If you try too hard to blend, rather than getting the puree semi-solid state of food you desired, everything comes out liquid.

I had liquid slap on me (and not jus me) and yes it is irritating. And no, I am not talking about food here.

An unrelated photo indeed, but is this too much to wear in The Office?

I am a very lazy/passive and last minute person when it comes to arranging for social activities, say lunches with colleagues or meeting up friends. It doesnt help at all that I dont have many close friends or colleagues that I bother to maintain close contacts with/desire very much to meet on a regular basis. A believer and heavy user of emails/msn/sms/blog to maintain communications with my friends, I/you can see my fit in the Telecom/IT industry. I find myself MSN-ing my colleague at 11:45am to ask if they want to do lunch at 12noon, in which most people would have gotten their lunch partners confirmed by the time they finished their breakfast. With Mon, Wed and Fri almost always booked for sports, and the fact that my office is located in the midst of not one but three shopping malls, even in the killer's heel I can do shopping.

When I first started work (and couldnt adjust to the working environment), I am keen enough to (walk to the train station and) take a train to town (read: Orchard) to meet my friends for lunch. I no longer am keen on this,- rather channel the energy to swims or runs. The cost of transport, on top of a-usually-more-expensive-than-foodcourt lunch, isnt that good in terms of the dollars and cents too. I never used to enjoy sports, but now sports is something that I can rely on, without fail-the rain can keep me out of the pool but I still have the gym; I can do it on my own.

So until I can find a focus in life that I can rely on, I am glad I have a pool and a trendmill to take me in.

If there is something I want to tell you today

As much as a loner, I am equally an extrovert.

Come September though, I have one more reason to be more active in meeting up with friends (in Sushi Tei to take advantage of the birthday month 20% discount given by their ST card that is).

I was trying to get the whole dress into the picture but thats all. Definitely happy after the run and shower.

More F1 works to be done...

This weekend is significantly more important because I wanted some time to look and think through some of the studying options such as CFAII, MPP. Cant promise that I would have an answer as to what I want to do going forward come end of Monday, but its sort of a necessary reflection that I want to do.

On and off I find myself building walls around myself like some sort of defences.

This is not exactly near a beach but rather a sort-of-canal in Vienna

I love new albums, like the way I love exploring a new city, or try out a new eatry, or try something new from the supermarket. While I stood in the train on my way back today, I missed the blue, blue sky, especially on those train rides- I think I always have. Other than a swim or a run during lunch, how many times do I even get to stare at the sky and look at the clouds formation.

Maybe someday I should sit by the Suntec Fountain, albeit warm, and have sandwiches for lunch.

The wish of going away for a holiday on my birthday will not come true this year again. To re-evaluate I think I would be happy enough to even take that day off (not that I wouldnt be allowed, but its more of whether I want/not- to set the records right, my boss is definitely flexible), grab a cycling companion, cycle by the beach and have my favorite Parkway Parade steamboat.

From Google image

I (sometimes) function like a kid between the age of 3 and 5. I need to be occupied (by toys) else I will be feeling bored and thereby mildly depressed, like what I am feeling now. Depressed is a word I hadnt quite used in a while largely because I was busy with searching for suitably priced and located hostels/hotels for the NY trip over CNY (imagine 40 over in the list to finally narrowed down to the one) and then the Vienna & Prague trip, and subsequently busy with the Tunnel Project. The project has since gone into a different sort of tunnel now but it wasnt as occupying as it was.

And you know for a fact that 3 (I try) out of 5 lunches were taken up by either a run or a swim. But I reckoned that my body does need a rest and so it cant take up all 5 of my lunches, though it would have been nice if I have a tennis coach over lunch to drill me some proper tennis skills (yes, we have two tennis court by the pool over here, and yes the tennis ball does get into the pool at times). And the fact that shopping hasnt been that successful recently (help me understand why would a t-shirt be priced at $69, or even $75, no matter what brand it is from?), I was feeling mildly depressed/dejected today. Being a sports person you should know Coke is bad keep ringing in my mind so Coke had been unable to save my day. Maybe I was jus socially deprived, though jus is really an understatement considering that I go for social dinner say once a month these days- blame it on the fact that I dont have much energy left after work, blame it on the comfortable sofa at home or blame it on the fact that I am fully utilising the TV since I/the family paid TV licence fees for having one at home.

Come Friday, come my sport lunch again.

From google images

Having your own view is a tricky balance to establish between not wanting to appear to be arrogant but at the same time sticking to what you truly believe in. What is one voice on its own anyway. So imagine my glow-in-the-eyes and smile-on-the-lips and that nodding head gesture upon hearing they become bruised and tired (fighting the battle) sentense.

And then I come home hearing this guy on TV saying that come any battle, he is strong enough to survive. How positive about fighting battles (alone). Remember how I come home saying do not talk to me is the (only) way for us to live peacefully together (because rationally the behaviour observed is wrong/inappropriate while irrationally its [might jus be] biased opinions).

Anyway as I was running (in the gym while it rained) today, I saw how the grey concrete slowly soaked up the rain to becoming wet brown ground that I think hard work (like the rain) could get me forward/create new facts. Unless, the circumstance falls under the better not do anything, and if you must, do it carefully category.

For once I put a pair of sports shoe into my shoe bag, else it has always been PE attire, and socks and towels. Perhaps with a pair of (my) sports shoe at home means I will be encouraged to stretch beyond the 3 weekday sports time.

Slippers is the way to comfort; heels is the way to confidence; sports shoe is the way to freedom.

The two big "what do" in my life.

First what-do, what do Singapore produces? If you are buying presents for a friend overseas and wanted something that is produced in Singapore, or at least something that represents Singapore and our identity, what can you get. I have already gotten a SIA-prints carrier bag, chinese character cushion cover (which technically is more chinese than singapore), pressed-Orchid wallet. And what more choices do I have. No bread talk since we are talking about send by mail via ship or plane. No Charles & Keith (PS: Bata is not a local brand) because you dont usually buy shoes for others. No Gioddano (from Hong Kong rather us) because frankly there is nothing special about it. I have been sourcing for days and still I cant get anything that appeals our Singapore-ness.

Second what-do, what do I want to do. CFA, when it is not really relevant to my current job, because instead of a banking related one, I am doing financal and regulatory related issues in the Telecom/IT industry. Masters in Public Policy, when I am not sure where my career is going, or whether is it too early in the career path to be doing it.

Someone teach me.

From google images- Merry Christmas

I feel like Christmas everyday. Even without the snow, the christmas tree, and the turkey/ham/pie/pudding or public holiday, I still feel like its Christmas-365. Simply because we are (air)conditioned to feel so. And today, I feel like I need socks to survive Christmas aka probably 18degrees here.

We need to cut costs, but we never raise the temperatures. We need to save Earth, but we never stop wasting energy. We are in a tropical country, with summer all year round, but we never really feel like sunny days.

Gloves, winter caps, fur coats, socks- we need them all. Snow-flakes (for effects) much appreciated.

When perfect is not beautiful... because I cant achieve perfect-ion.

I wonder if it’s psychologically about the new asics shoes, but I am glad I enjoyed my run. Though I was sure I didn’t try to bend too much (during my warm up- finally I tried to warm up on at least bending both the legs till the count of 50 that’s all) for this is jus day 1 of the shoe.

My han ping yu ying is not getting right, so I was told:

next time u might as well

_uo _uo _ao _hi _uo

Anyway do you keep spoiling/causing break-downs of things in the office. Oh well I do. Guess what is it today.

As we try to be better (we shall remember to keep our brooms)

This is Singapore, isnt it

The day started early with getting the runner's shoes. And then the Botanic Garden, which I hadnt been since I was young haha. A nice walk listening to birds/inserts (instead of the ipod), smelling the green, walking in cool air, and getting lost. Its one of those places that I would love to come by again/frequently (if I am not lazy).

Thanks to my company's running club, at a discounted rate, this is my GT2130 in storm/lighting pink, thats supposed to have structure cushioning, i.e. more cushioning. Alot runners have been telling me Asics is good and so I am especially looking forward to my run in it!

si ying says:
ta zai zuo she meng

hahahah
wad did u just say excuse me??

si ying says:
ta (he) zai zuo (do) she meng (wat)

shen me
say after me

My han ping yu ying world (that people cant understand).

Sushi Tei, and Salmon Belly Soup.

Ichiban Boshi is not for me, and perhaps alot other Japanese restaurant isnt working for me. IB doesnt woo me, it doesnt leave me satisfied and in fact I feel increasingly dejected for the week, if not for the subsequent knowledge meeting that I attended. While I might have ordered possibly-their-not-famous-for dish called the Ichiban Soba but I still dont feel like giving it another chance (to disappoint me) anyway. I like japanese food because it is japanese food, so its hard for me to accept duck and the similarly thai-chilli-sauce as part of the dish. And why is cold soba not cold at all. I supposed not jus IB that I didnt buy. I could have tried and for a while enjoyed the fried yaki ramen from the Japanese store at Suntec's Food Republic, but after a while, it was still second to my favorite brand, and I could hardly desire for it alot.


What I like doesnt have to be the best, but because I like, it is the best to me.


So regardless if its the zen like environment, the familar brown colour and organised menu, or the salmon belly soup/fried yaki soba/ cold ramen salad/ set rice that I always cant decide, it is still the place for me. The comfort food, I supposed.


Everything else seems to be novelty/next best alternative/good try.


Sometimes I wonder if I am not trying hard enough, yet again, why do I have to try so hard for everything.


Like my increasing discomfort with my inability to engage in natural and successful small talks. Topics dont follow naturally to me (or is it because I hadnt feel familiar with the other party), not because I have nothing inside my brain to talk about. I am sure I can talk about my 3km morning runs, my 30 laps over lunch, my wheet bix and milk lunch, my love for fashion and coke and holiday and jay chou and ipod and sweat-for-sports and sushi tei and anything pink and the national day rally, the olympics game, and my blog yes (but who even bother about all these). Rather it jus takes alot for me to feel natural making small talks, and to be able to do it. Those moments in life that critically need me to speak up so that the situation/I do(es) not feel so weird- accidential bumps in the toilets, queuing behind the sink waiting to wash my water bottle, waiting for the lift that-never-seems-to-come, gatherings and parties- jus didnt see me talking. Maybe 30 seconds and thats all I naturally last.


I am trying but each time there is a limited number of tries I can make without excessively exhausting myself.


I want to cry, can I even be all these that I try.

For someone to have believe that flying is a form of/way in seeking freedom from the reality, that Europe is one of the furtherest (from home) and most desired place to arrive at, Spain being one of the most captivating country that arose her interest in learning Spanish, and flying budget is her way of getting her (and her luggage) across countries' borders, the recent crash of the Spanair plane has been all the more saddening.

Energy level at the lowest. Other than hunger, I cant quite feel any other emotions. All I want to do is watch tv.

The thing that I cannot get used to is getting used to. Total bleah.

Becoming F1 ready...

From google images

In view of all the olympics games going on and my craze for many kind of sports (running, swimming, badminton, cycling...), lets say an alethics sits around all day instead of putting in the hours for training. You dont command (anyone's) respect and your existence is like those imprinted upon the sand- it gets washed away by the tides, leaving behind a fresh bed of sand that fails to acknowledge any presence.

But, sandcastles are built out of (the-very-same-bed-that-fails-to-hold-your-existence) sand you see.

When you watch the games and think about life...

You join any competitive sports and you are expected to
1. adhere to the rules & regulations, and
2. be compared with the others who also started at the starting point and took the same route as you.

I mean logically/fairly speaking you shouldnt be comparing the timing of someone who ran the real tracks VS someone who ran the trendmill. And if you openly insist this comparison is fair, thanks for the (biased) honesty but I dont think you deserve (my respect for) a try-for-the-medal/ sport at all.

On a lighter note, the new pair of working shoes will be sent over from another branch to this Suntec's within 7 days and I would like to think that this (buying of shoes thingy) isnt about the woman's addiction to buying shoes, but rather it was because I only wear ankle-stripped shoes (i.e. shoes with strips across the ankles) therefore I must grab as such shoes are rather rare.

I think I lose interest in talking. Is there really so much to talk about. Small talks hadnt been my strength, nor interest.

The whole saturday was spent mostly sleeping in between of games- swimming or badminton or table tennis, and getting the long handbag strip fixed to an appropriate length. I find however true sportsmanship has somehow being overshadowed by competition between countries, dont you think so. True enough that its human nature to applaude and cheer for our own fellow mates, but really the true spirits of sports is to appladue to whoever who performs well. Its kids' play to only recognise the colour of the shirt, I think.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
If you cant afford to lose a game, you have in fact lost in entirely.

And did I say I am jus max up these days. Morning 3km run, busy day at work and by now I really am more than ready for the bed. Please let me sleep well.

Either its the magic of tv or that of sports, I jus wish I am so much more of an athletics that I can play jus any sports.

And how do you play a game of table tennis like that of badminton?

The balloons got to go. I suppose even if its time, even if its always the best to leave at the peak (performance/state), even if they had been around for only a very temporary period, I will miss them. Though it did leave me with a scene of (my) finger dripping blood haha

Any movie that is in those ancient days whereby the monarchy still exists will definitely have scenes dipicting all/some of the following:

The royal blood is a protected group of people fighting over the riches and power of the country. Behind them however often is the group of talents working for the good of the country and its people. The King is often busy with wine and dining and women, and never know the sufferings of its people.

In reality, any museum guide of history of those days often bring us through all that plus all the war and men and men periods.

Modernise thats all, if you think evolution has even (ever) changed all these.

The contrasts in life

1. Whether to think of today today VS to think of tomorrow today
2. Sense of disappointment VS continuity of the essentials
3. What we want VS what we like, when we dont regard what we like to be a benchmark of success

is such that baby pink and baby blue might not paint the nicest view.

I am sure I am the pig in the farm (from google images)

If the convenience of getting a piece of laminated-namecard-sized plastic so that my signature can temporarily gain me a purchase means that I have to speak to the customer service officer every now and then to discuss the bill so to make sure that I dont over-pay, it is easy to understand why I prefer cash.

Other than googling about mineral oils, crepes and gastic acid (alright you get what I mean), I think I will soon run out of curiosity to have much to google for all those after-work and in-the-mood hours. Maybe its the time to go back to working the brain on the books, whether is it relevant.

Anyway I think I will soon qualify to live in the mountains with sheeps and cows and sheepdogs. Either that or live with aliens in space. Whichever that still gives me daily doses of music, shopping to curb my satisfaction, coke and running track and swimming pool. Alright, I cant do all that in space.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today

I dont know what I want but at least I know what I dont want.

Google image

Exactly the moment Channel 5 was being tuned, we saw how Singapore was placed 5th in swimming. 4 steps away from gold.



And then the hopes of a badminton gold was again dashed in less than 10 minutes later.

Seeing the photos my sister put up in FB makes me want to find something to study in somewhere far away and s-u-n-n-y for a while.

Maybe I might not have done it in the past but I am sure I can now do so.

As I am glued to the tv watching those swings and jumps and bounces, those nervous preparations before their turns, the satisfaction grip or the disappointing cries, the afternoon gymnastics session that put me to sleep taught me to better do something at the same time to keep myself awake.

It was 2 years, 2 months and 10 days since I've started working and how has it changed me. I never used to run and swim as much but now they have become something I do for 2-3 days before/after work or during lunch. I never would have thought of travelling alone, or know that I am capable of doing that. But at the same time it makes me keep to myself more and more as I treasured those after-work hours. I am in town 5 days in a week, so Orchard is no longer that much of a I-wish-to-go-shopping place.

And have I said, I have tried to cut down daily breakfast diet of coke to the maximum of a can a week.

Then at the same time I wonder if I have enough of this 8 months of freedom and fun to get back into the studying mode.

Glued to the tv last night over the opening ceremony

and today's another late night

4 times this year in Frankfurt airport but had never step foot on Germany

Hadnt had much time to think about what-I-want-to-do-with-my-life but the usual thoughts unsurprisingly would have been going back to the books and planning for a next holiday.



I supposed I really need time to sort out before its too late.


But the very raw idea is to take the June 09 exams and then go for a holiday, on my own. Guess going away on my own no longer scares me. There is no one I really want to go away together with and there is no one I want to ask either. I wouldnt imagine how is it like if I have a companion because I have learn to enjoy everything on my own. I definitely enjoy shopping on my own; I have ways to get chicken hotdogs and not beef's even if I dont speak their language; I have ways to get myself into photos with the scenery; I will learn to find my way around when I am lost; there are kind people around to help me with my luggage when I have great difficulties with; I learn to make new friends; and with my ipod and laptop I wouldnt feel all so lonely really. If I could do it daily over here, I could do it for 2 weeks. So I can go away for 2 weeks, satisfy my addiction for shopping, travel around, be on (my favourite) trains and see the parts of the world that I never see but amazingly want to. Its not difficult for me. The only thing about traveling alone (alright other than safety) is the higher cost of a single room thats all.

Other random (urgent) things-to-do include
- whether to take up the singtel Mio plan
- to email SCFC


What else to look forward to this week: the olympics games (enjoyed the gymnastics but the swings and stuff put me to sleep easily); my-boss-being-away week.

Starting to miss H&M (you know I need to get 5 sets of clothing to wear for work this coming week).

Anything to go by, on 08.08.08 I am blue and yellow.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today

How real is yesterday

Independence VS everything else.

Partially due to my pure lazy-ness and the usual excuse that I am really busy with work, I have learnt to engage in all sort of activities on my own- shopping, sports, and whatever else that I am doing. In fact I think what I am starting to learn is talking to myself so that I dont even need a listening ear (if I have one in the first place). My refusal to become reliance on others, and the limited choice of the so-called others in fact means its mostly work, sports, go home, tv and sleep. I have been coping well all along and increasingly well for the past 2 months because work has in fact expanded in such a way that I no longer have the time nor mood during office hours to chit-chat and after office hours are hours totally mine.

Yet the only thing about such independence that I havent been able to adjust is eating alone in resturants. How about eating steamboat alone.

Feeling guilty, that I am unable to fulfill all the roles as much as I desired.

At the age of going 25, I am still much playful to want to celebrate my buddy's 1st working year over lunch, fulfilling the role of a buddy and good friend.

At the age of going 25, I couldnt do much for my grandmother who is celebrating her birthday today, when at the same time she doesnt want to trouble too much of me, and has cravings for a japanese lunch.

At the age of going 25, and very much entrenched in my busy (really?) career and busy-and-very-much-treasured-freedom (really?) singlehood, there seems to be nothing important that I have afforded time for, is there.

Indeed it smells like rubber (balloons) everywhere near my cubicle.

Finally you see that red (matching) pair of heels

So it was with balloons, goodie bags, silver pretty that seemed as though christmas came early.

Being part of the organising party, now I know, means that you get your share of fun after the crowd leaves. Because when the crowd (11am) arrived, you are busy with whats on the task, or basically anything that could help the event goes smoothly.

After the crowd left, rubbish have to be clear, tables and chairs back to where they used to be (and opps we jus cant remember how it used to look like), balloons have to burst/relocated. And so the greatest/fun-nest/funny-nest thing was to relocate the balloons. All of them, including the wonderful and magically beautiful arch at the entrance.

So yes, tear the sticky tapes used to hold the arch and then with 3 pairs of hands, we (and the arch) got into the cargo lift after a little discussion on whether to take the lift or walk the stairs (we fear the little lift space or the air pressure that would burst the balloons but a walk up 6 floors of narrow stairways with huge balloons dont seem like a good idea). The joke was actually to leave the arch made up by balloons in the passenger lift to give people a fright.

Its definitely hilarious to be in the lift with all those balloons and screaming for more space in case the balloons burst in front of me! We had so much fun and laughters in the lift that a video, if taken, would be worthy of much youtube views. Under the keyword- all the interesting/funny things people do.

And the arch gotten its new home on our floor so each time I visit the toilet it will make me smile. The rest of the balloons were up around the floor as well, and from my desk I definitely get to see these happy stuff.

And so after the National Day Observance Ceremony,

the balloons are up everywhere near me

IP announcement

We shifted this up to our floor!

Seeing this makes me happy!

My cubicle decorated by (pretty) balloons!

From my desk...

From my desk I see all the balloons!

I blend well with the balloons.

Before 11am when the crowd comes

Even the screen is surrounded by balloons that "it seems like christmas comes early"