I didnt think those fundamental were that wrong - there is always ups and downs for anyone, any place. It was jus wrong now, but the problem is not unfixable. When the maths are balanced, its the upside of the see-saw. We, on the other hand, face a real constraint, a soon-to-be an unfixable one. How many more can we build, how many more can we squeeze, how much harder can we become. Ultimately there is no space for the see-saw to take the upswing.

The fleeting kind...

I wanted to make myself happy. Because the week had been impossible.

It was impossible, either because it was indeed impossible, or because I had enough of impossibles.

So I wore the nicest home tee and shorts I have- the orange adidas tee and blue beach shorts, both from Bangkok years ago. And finished a 1664 lugged from Paris last summer. Watched Bon Voyage, a Netherland films and also going to finish my favourite drama for now.

I must have been disengaged, because I no longer think about getting away for a holiday, such that after that I will be recharged all over again to take the impossible. But I thought of giving up.

Giving all up. My principle is to never give up because of other reasons other than the issue itself. I don't think I went against that principle, because I think the issue is the issue itself now. What I thought of is what to do next; I didn't think of turning back.

So until I really give up to become a city farmer I will still be yearning for the summers in Europe. Actually, the summers in Paris. When the air conditioner blew in a way today, it made me felt like how I would have feel in those summers in Paris. And I realise all I want to is walk down the vineyard, the farm, the what-ever in summer in wherever I can be.

Not here. Not this.

The days gone by Fried chips became the favourite Paris Chilli Plant So that I dont forget anything

I would have written more but I need some sleep, I have to wake up early tomorrow for my swim and also because I came back talking and reading my favourite thing so I will write again when I feel the same as today again.

I really almost forget everything I used to enjoy - the fashion, the colours. There is always a but now.

I become more fascinating with start-ups and apps that if I am at Palo Alto, it would have been very exciting. And I actually want to visit Palo Alto. 

It was frustrating, not having the time to do other, my things, and having terribly little sleep definitely affects me by the end of it. And it wasn't easy having to keep getting attention before I can make a point, and sometimes I kept having to make the same point again and again, or to keep explaining what's the point behind my point.