This would be a totally different entry that I set out to write while dazing blankly on the train jus now. I am still shaking from fear and worry after listening to it. I cried but then again I tried not to cry. Suddenly the life that I have built seems to be wrong somehow. I couldnt quite describe what I am going through, like the same way how I never quite know how to express my thoughts other than through writing, which I know somehow isnt quite the form of communication my parents hope for.

I am not sure how I am going to cope. I think I might take a day off tomorrow because I dont think I will cope well.

I dont intend to turn to any of my close friends (I know I dont have many anyway) because I think even if I have no idea how I will cope, I will be on my own, for this, from now.

I might not be contactable, I might not be writing, but I really dont know. For how long, I also dont know. I am totally not sure about things but I know I need some peace.

If there is one thing I want to tell you today
Tmr very sorry I cant meet you for lunch. Something happen. I wouldnt be picking up my phone.