I really need some sleep because 3 hours isnt going to last me any longer, definitely not two days straight.

Jus that it happens again. No longer am I confused, unconvinced or even a single ting of anger/upset. Which isnt a good thing, because either it means I have gone through it before, or I dont really care. But the truth is, I have gone through it at least once and the truth is, I care. This truth belongs to someone's privacy and it jus happens that I know about it.

I knew something (like this) bad will be around the corner (it cant be this good to me), jus that I didnt know it will come in this form, this soon. I thought I would be right this time, but even now I stilll think the choice would be right if. Only if. If its mine I still want it. If it would be mine, I still want it. But it isnt, and the truth makes it a wouldnt.

All I can say is, its like getting all the toto numbers right, or hitting the nail on the head or even finding the needle in the sea.

I am disappointed, but I still want to believe in you. Whether in the same exact manner of belief before I really know the truth, or jus in the form of establishment now that I know.

If this is the calling of God, then I am hoping the calling of God will show me the R-I-G-H-T way, for once please.