I am starting to feel the same way. The same way that I would have used to think to be un-progressive and unambitious.

But now I would have thought, living a day by itself, taking slow but a willing pace suitable for me towards progression is satisfying enough. I dont want to see myself lost in grabbing more money (or at least feeling all the work pressure for money reasons and not for personal satisfaction), moving houses more so often to even call them my home, or lavishly spends on branded and numerous holidays and food and lifestyle.

Because I am happy buying affordable clothing when there are sales, because I am happy going on one good holiday a year, because I am happy to buy my affordable H&M when I can, because I am easy with food and I dont always need small portions of high class arty food, because I am happy with occasional good food, because I am happy with my runs and swims, because I am made to be happy this way. Even if all these dont always make me happy, I feel peaceful the way I am. (So dont bend or mould me into your (desired) lifestyle, thats what I dislike most)

Because if living the days that I used to get by with a little more as I can now afford, is not enough then making myself happy moving ahead will become more and more difficult. This is what I feel.

Because if all the things are jus wants and not needs, how much more wants should I pamper on myself, or what other bigger and better or more expensive things would I need to make myself progressively happier moving ahead.

Because if its not mine, having them in the first place would have make it worse to go through losing them. Not all memories all nice to keep.

Because if I would be there, I would be there somehow one day.

I will be, no matter how fast other people were ahead of me, or how much better these other people are. As long as I live my way without them whining in front of me, I am fine. More than jus fine.

Perhaps one day I would have a different mentality towards my life but as of now, I am taking a step at a time. Good enough to be surrounded with my-always family, my positively cheerful and upright occasional companion and the few other friends that I still bothered to keep in touch with no matter what excuses I gave the others that I dont bother. Say I am a loner, say I am independent, say I am lazy, say I am arrogant but I am no longer that bothered with what other people say/think of me as long as they leave me whoever I am.

Super duper me.