The 2018

In memory of my grandmother.

Goodbye 2017

It's Week 132 just as I am writing this, the very same that I gave myself 48 weeks to. 

As much as I still love some of it, as much as I can I would love more to leave it behind. 132 weeks has long outlived 48 weeks. Though where to, I too have no idea even a year on. Perhaps the answer is what I will get into, rather than I will get into the answer. 

To be honest I am used to the lonely journey, that I endured mostly, but nevertheless still thankful for the old friends whom continue to stick with me and the new ones that have been rooting for me. Maybe not enough, but thank you for the friendships, like I have said it to you as the first half year of knowing you is ending. While you are far away in Beijing, you said you are happy to talk any time, and help in even the smallest way, but you have been big in my life. I become a better person because of you, like I never know before. And maybe a happier person because of you, when we laughed over the half-washed cup and everything as normal as daily. Or even if it is just someone who is at roughly the same stage in life, you are there just like that when there is no one left. 

But, as growing up means growing old, and even if, in pain, discomfort and degenerating, I have endured. Yet it is clear that as much as you can win your will, you will never win against the race of time. There are life that will never come back in time, there are moments that will never relive, and there are thank-you that never have a chance. There is only so much time for one goodbye, so let's try harder until the only goodbye. Because after that, there is nothing harder to try aside from crying it away. 

If, it is hard to sometimes know if you could have try harder, if you have already tried your best, or this is already the best, it is because it is life. It is the goodbye to 2017.  

That happy, sunny, finally moment that I was waiting for,

Goodbye 2016

I never wanted to lose myself but time and time again I lost to time. Or maybe I've continued to grow (up), and this is jus me now. I stop feeling as much, and or maybe I stop sharing as much, where a year went by and I didn't have a single post. I did tweet and maybe that's jus me now.

These days are mad, some days crazier than others. I mostly swing between coping well and struggling much. Jus the last couple of days of the year of being slow before I'm thrown back to the crazy world, that frankly didn't need to be crazy-every-single-day.

A year and half went by as a team lead and that too I know I've grown up. I am thankful for all the opportunities I have and those that I fought for, the people that helped me and those that challenged me, and the challenges that I embraced and those that fell upon me. Regardless the downs, I jus need to remind myself of my original aspiration; the heart to work/ try harder each day, to do the right thing and do things right.

Like I said in one of the earlier goodbye-year post, I went back Europe this summer finally. Those fleeting moments, even if it was a month, that I will always never have enough time for yet always thankful to. At least, not our favourite bun rieu cua but a bowl of pho bo from Paris is now jus in AXA Tower.  

Anyway sometimes imagination seems like the best world traveled. I've my travel plans for 2017 mostly planned, but I don't know where next in life I am heading to. I don't know if thinking hard enough is the way to approach this, but I probably need an answer myself in a year's time. Maybe, time is/will bring about the answer.

And, these, everything I love,

Goodbye，2015

Normality, while sometimes dull, is probably the best one can wish for in life.

Because the chances of anything outside of that is far less than good.

But in any case, 9.5 years of working and finally at the 9th year mark, I was made the team lead, and I cannot thank enough for all the learning opportunities given to me. Even if not everyday is the best working day.

And even if I fail, at least I tried. Even if I never have the answer and still bear the tinge of sadness, I did my best. Even at the very end, I cried all that I need until I don't cry anymore. Thanks to the few people who knew and bear with me, and thanks for those that didn't. Either way I got the best left in my life, because you really can live with very little.

It's time to awake and try the very best every single day. I probably slept enough. And don't forget the lessons of 2015.

Welcome 2016, welcome normality, the very one that I know.

Exactly 21 days

The debate will also remain - giving up too early, or persisting for too long. 

I take a different stance for specific situations. For everything regarding me and a particular situation, I never want to give up without a good fight. Clearly, doing my best for everything, by choice or not, is my belief.

But if it is beyond me and a particular situation, I rather under-invest. I try but it doesn't take too long before I stop trying. I came to realise now that perhaps all it took was 3 weeks. Exactly 21 days.