Of course I saw Sly went in and I was overjoyed. Anyway slightly before SI, my uncle and aunt arrived, waiting for it to start. And the 9pm channel U show, Yi Xi Ren ended. At least to me, it was a very, very nice show. I really enjoyed watching it and I like the show. I guess I enjoyed watching Chen Hong Yu every night. Now that it ended, I felt as though some reliance of me on that show had gone. I start to get really scared about losing things/ people that I relied on, or that I am really dependent on. I dont know when or what trigger this fear recently. But I know this fear had always been with me since you died. Because all I could do was cry at nights. All the nights. And even if I dont cry, that is because I am forcing myself not to. I know this happened long ago. A year later did I only stop this night routinue of crying to my pillows. After that, for most of the time I was too busy to think about you. But there are always times when I wish you were there for me. I wish you saw the me now. I wish you were part of my growing up. I really wish you never leave me. I know you really love me, but I never ever had the chance to have you by my side again. I dont tell anyone, but I am telling you now that, I am really sorry. And you left, the fear has taken roots in my heart. Sometimes I forgot its existence, but it is coming back to me. I can feel it. As the show starts, my tears welled up in my eyes when I heard the theme song, which sang something like I forget to forget... Now I am crying. I am scared. But I know I am alone.