Dearest Si Ying,

Firstly I have to thank you for your email. Seems like you have been paying attention to me. I shall now voice my opinion, that I am not arrogant, not stubborn nor wild, even though sometimes I wish to be so.

First, I am born natural to be nice to people who are nice to me, but I am not an actor. I cant admit to the world that Mr YY is indeed Mr Nice, when I cant regard him to be so. I didnt go about rattling him as being the public enemy number 1 too. In fact, I didnt even want to talk about that night already. Because I dont want to feel hurt again. And since I am not an actor, and I am still me, how can I be graceful in your sense. I can only be polite, and look in his direction as though I see nothing. And dont you see that his face is as black as the colour of his t-shirt - which in fact happens to be black in colour too. And no I have to disappoint you that I cant go up and shake hands to be friends with him. I am not arrogant, but firstly I dont really need such a friend and secondly I jus do not want to be friends and remind myself of how upset I can be in week 3. Anyway I will always be me, taking it as though it hadnt happen for I wouldnt want a face to face confrontation, spoiling world peace. But you cant be greedy and ask me to be friends with him.

Secondly, it jus happened that recently all the songs by May Day seemed to remind me of the past. I remembered it no matter where I am, how busy I might be or who I am with. It has infiltrated into my life such that I cant take it apart. Yes I admit I am stubborn but there is no cure for such defiance, is there? Because if there is, I indeed wish that it will help me in some ways. And yes memories are dead, but I am keeping them alive, which they (the memories) are keeping me alive too.

Thirdly, I wasnt angry for the record. I was more of upset because once again I missed it. It was something I wanted to watch, because it was something I know you wanted to watch, or if you have watched it. I am disappointed because once again I missed it, jus like how I missed `Yesterday once more.

I appreciate your concern for me. I hope my reply has indeed cleared much of your doubts about me.

Always thankful for your presence, but no thanks,
Si Ying

If there is one thing I want to tell you today,
No matter how busy I can be, every seconds came and went by thinking about you.