After sunday night's down-swing, monday's rattling and today's episode, I learnt much from my own mood swings and emotional turmoil. Surprisingly sounding alright after a couple of hours?

While of course much happened in between, but I am better now. Jus that perhaps a big cryout ( jus to let go of any remaining emotions) and a good sleep sound see me in a better position.
But anyway I dont think anyone is keeping up to what I write. Its ok. I tend to write more especially when I am traveling alone. Ya, can literally write a blog entry in my mind while on the bus and come home to type. Wish I know how to mobile-blog.

What I learnt from this week's episode
1. It happened because I am unclear over what I want.
2. And now after everything, I am clear of what I want. I do not need an identification, nor a queue number. I guess I jus need things to remain as closely as it was in the past. For instance, two people get marry, but they dont get marry for the certification. The certification is something they get along the way. Ok in simplier terms, you dont go to the supermarket to get a receipt to prove that you own an item but you go to the supermarket to get that item. So is that receipt really that important? Perhaps. But even without the receipt, it doesnt mean that you dont own that item. So I dont need recognition. I dont need a "friend" or "good friend" status anymore. I jus need it. Needing it doesnt mean I am not over with it. I guess all the intensive interaction for the past 2 years created too much difference in my life that I can no longer do with it. But I am ready to move on already.
3. I dont really care what people think or say of me. If they want to think I am weak, or that I am jus so stubborn then go ahead. It doesnt bother me. I dont need to admit if I am weak, or if I am stubborn if I dont want. Anyway I would say I am both- weak yet stubborn. But it doesnt matter to anyone except me. So it shall not bother anyone too.
4. Some friendships once again prove that they are strong enough to go through your life's ups and downs.
5. Life comes with all the plus and the minus, the ups and downs, the black, white and pink. If life presents you with a package of happiness, you never know how unhappiness is and thereby happiness has no value to you. It is in the midst of unhappiness that you realise you have a very strong will, a very strong self and you see yourself struggling for happiness. A friend once mentioned, everything that comes goes. Everything that starts will one day end. As far as I still remain hopeful to find at least lasting relationships, I know everything that is discussed above applies to many things in life. Growing up brings about all these mood swings. I am not scared to be myself, because I am growing up each single moment.

Refreshing lessons from Roman's times
1. You dont always get what you want in life jus because you want it.
2. Expect nothing but the unexpected.

The whole emotional track today: from sad to scared to scawning ( a word I invent so that they all start with the letters 'S' but it actually means yawning).

Things you are too busy to know (so you can skip this part if you are really too busy) but I am too excited to not mention it.
1. My hair is very soft from using Apple & Papaya shampoo and hair conditioning. Brand: Rejoice. Country of purchase: China, Shen Zhen. Earliest possible time to reach there: ½ hour taxi ride to Changi Airport, 1 hour check-in (if you are lucky), 3 hours Cathay Pacific flight to HK International Airport, ½ bus ride to Tsim Sha Tsin, ¾ hour MTR ride to Luo Wu, ¼ hour customs clearing, 1/3 hour bus ride to Mao Ye Shi Cang, Dong Meng.
2. I received 3 of the postcards I send to myself. Together with the photos I developed, the little corner of my study desk is now Mini-HK. Luv it!
3. I don’t know how soft, smooth and silky my hair until I stepped out of the house. Ok stop it! Stop the talk about your hair, dumb girl.
4. jusme.sy@gmail.com is set up for my friends and any readers of my blog siying.blogspot.com. Password being: onlymesy. It is created mainly to allow you to know me more- when you aren’t too busy. Of course I cant deny because I am relatively quite bored.
5. I am alright already. Actually I should be quite happy if not for being tired.