I know its tomorrow already, but I hadnt sleep for today, yet. Jus didnt want to. Guess its jus my stubborness. Let me be stubborn this moment. I always have been, so does it makes any difference for one more time? Anyway, this is how I want to feel tomorrow...
`I want to feel relieved (because I know there has been alot of things that I am carrying, emotionally) `I want to feel hopeful (because I know it is hope for tomorrow that brings the sunrise a different shade) `I want to feel loved (because I jus want to feel so) `I want to be me (because I want to face the reality of what I am facing now emotionally)
Jus wanta say something to the two dear friends who are there to hear me...
Dear sy
Magician says its mushy to say thanks and stuff like that, but its girls' stuff I guess. At least its something good to say, otherwise if there is no other time, this will be the time to say what thankful words I have. Like the sms you text me today. It makes my nite. If not for you, I guess I remain to stay away from most in uni, because I started my uni life telling myself that I can do it alone. Such a person like me exists huh. I really told myself that, and the kind of lifestyle I had then jus says it all. And I thought only by doing alone can I force myself to be independent. But I am very thankful that by some forces I know you, because you are a true friend anytime. (you know who said this ya?) "You will remember the toughest time also, because thinking back it brings you that much memories also". You know today, while I was packing, I kept aside some stuff that I would want to keep if all else are gone... including ia project, a tutorial that charles did (and is still with me), a tutorial solution that you wrote, the marked ob homework, the ia mid term (haha, dont have much of a marked work given back)... alot alot others... And haha guess what, the radio is playing your fav song now (that very fav one "love me")...
Dear magician,
I really wish if you are a real magician, because if you are, you will make your wish come true and then you will also make my wish come true. Because one day I might give up hope, and I am scared the day might be here soon. I live on hope, and yet I live on my own thinking. I have come to this far again when I begin to wonder whats going on in my life. If there is nothing, or if there is something.
And I didnt write that - I want to wake up to be happy because I know that is more far fetch that the three points above. And since it is the homework for me, I can change before submitting ya : ) As being a good day for me, I think tomorrow is going be turbulent, dont know why, its jus an instinct.. So me...
I thought was jus a little note for both, yet it went on like an essay- length... but dont forget, my asipiration is to be a journalist... this thing keeps popping up in my little, tiny brain recently. Maybe because of the tough semester that makes me feel like going to the working society, or because there is a person in the working society that I want to relate to, or it is jus that growing urge of mine to be a journalist... And the thing about the threater studies module, actually what is the code for that module. I really wanta do it...
And lastly before I either go to bed for yesterday, or I should get myself drown in words/ music/ tv...

" I wish it is you,
you as the happiness I hadnt know yet
My pals will know my envision for my future even if they migrate to mars
And let my future includes your presence"