jus me

2012-01-31T22:51:00.003+08:00

I have been thinking of this place too much. I think in fact more than thinking about summers in Paris, which I always think about during my swims. Garmisch Partenkirchen or easier known as GAP.

I decided not to visit it when I was planning for a mountain visit August last year, because I was afraid of disappointments. I was at GAP for only 6 hours three years ago, jus enough time for a short ride. The image I remembered of the place - flat land surrounded by grasses, mountains and bare roads that you have no way of knowing where is where, little wooden houses with balconies decorated with pretty flowers - might not be really how GAP is. Judging by how I always felt that food in my memories tasted better than what I had now, I thought perhaps I remembered it to be more pretty than it really was. In the end I decided to spend more time in France and went to Chamonix instead.

But I know it is one place I still want to visit again (not forgetting Karin and Peter, whom I still write to), because I couldn't stop thinking about it. Perhaps I will be disappointed no matter when I visit, so why not jus visit again!

So till when I am back there again.

In fact, the picture that I wanted to paint is that image I had when leaving GAP.

2012-01-29T12:06:00.002+08:00

I probably wouldn't be visiting Paris or anywhere near this year, I supposed. But I think about summers all the time. The summers I knew, the summers I was there, the summers I read in books, the summers when ice melted and ski resorts were green, the summers when life is life, the summers when days were still too cold for me. The Norwegian fjords, the Sweden mountains, the wet Venice, or the land full of beaches.

2012-01-29T11:59:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year came and left soon again, but the break meant there was much more work for the remaining week. Despite the 1 Feb handover date for most of my current duties, there are more to work on for the remaining ones. It didn't help that there were not much matured adults around.

So the only things nice about this - great family time and the nostalgia food on Day 2 that I only eat once a year now compared to when I was being babysit.

So exhausted that I didn't even have the motivation to think about, let alone plan for, a holiday for the year. But the intensity of things meant it's time for me to move to a new place. Hopefully it meant more good things to come along.

2012-01-25T21:21:00.002+08:00

Aging is one of the most scary - that all you hold on to slip by and never is yours again.

And of ups and downs - it must be down now and I wonder how this down will bring me nearer to the end.

2012-01-22T20:05:00.000+08:00

What I wanted - I want things to be slower, or at least normal. Whatever speed things are now, they aren't slow nor normal. I want to feel at peace, and not anxious, concerned or freaking half the time. I want to live life - like reading books, drawing, making things with my hands, going out, under the sun, rather than being too busy or tired all the time.

2012-01-21T21:37:00.002+08:00

It was like at last lap but being told of having more laps ahead of you - that's how I have been feeling. There will be a last lap for now, but there will be more laps till the real, last lap. So after exhausting myself with the accelerating sprint I found myself frustrated but still at the running track.

2012-01-16T19:14:00.000+08:00

Timeline is not something that changes time and time again depending on your mood.

Ownership is not something that you care only when your boss cared.

2012-01-12T13:43:00.001+08:00

At the start of the year, I am already counting down to the end. The short but busy first week seemed to hit hard now.

But anyway I am looking forward to having more time and doing more new things, or even things that I stubbornly didn't think it is worth it after a cost-benefit analysis. And because of this I am waiting to arrive at the end.

2012-01-03T00:42:00.002+08:00

After a stretch of not going to office for 10 days (see, there is a difference. I didn't say 10 days of leave because I have been working almost every day), I must be having the post-holiday-pre-working-day blues.

Sometimes I feel that while the life is mine, the time isn't. But I cannot think of a sustainable way of living without holding a job, nor can I justify why I need all the time in the world till the end of time.

2011-12-31T10:27:00.007+08:00

My 2011

28 years old, 28 on the tee

Home & family

We have a new home this year and it has been a happy thing to be living all the more comfortably now - with a new lift even! I love my pink room with blue/white strips curtains, a white work space and blue, big cupboard. I love the bright living room, I love the big sofa, I love the spaceous kitchen, I love the modern toilet. Sometimes I wish I dont ever have to step out of the house and to be able to spend more time at home. Actually, almost all the time.

Travelling

(the above heart shaped college was formed using the photos we took in Europe)

Travelling has been great this year. The most significant (trip) of the year must be our family Europe holiday - finally.

The year started with a beach holiday filled with sun, sea, sand, snorkelling and seafood in the land of smiles - Phuket, with my favourite train ride and enough time for reading science fiction (which I dont have now), such that till now I still occasionally see the image of me standing on sand embracing the waves. And I always think of the sea and sky. It happened to also mark the start of that end.

25 hours to KL and back in search of jus that black sauce noodles that I ate once years ago but the motivation for making the trip is because this will be my last time on the train that will disembark at Tanjong Pagar.

Our Europe family trip to Paris, Chamonix and Luzern - spending almost a day on trains, bringing my family to where I had been, finally fulfilling what I always wanted to do since 5 years ago. Having so much delicious Viet noodles soup, going mad in their supermarkets and feasting on home-cooked food.

I didnt think of going to Disneyland again, I didnt think of going to US and then off I went to Orlando, seeing finally the most beautiful fireworks, staying in Disney hotel with animals outside the window and getting crazy over everything Mickey - drinking milk from Mickey cartons to taking photos with Mickey and gang and Winnie the Pooh, to bowls to soft toys, tee and clocks and christmas tree accessories (but no I dont have a tree). Now all the more I have lesser reasons to be back in US. And I actually love plane food served on Sg - Tokyo leg.

Work

I started the year being informed of a work transfer. The stint of being a Special Assistant aka SA to CEO has been such an intense journey and now that I've arrived at the end of the year, I am also almost at the end of the journey.

Random little things
I removed three wisdom teeth; I finished the Ender series; I did some cycling and kayaking; I said farewell at the start of the year and going to do the same thing soon; I moved office, I moved department, I moved team; I no longer go for a drink, fried chickens or supper; I dont make smiles with stationary anymore; We went USS and won a prize; My postcard from KL was missent to Thailand; I fell sick in Paris (again) but I had fun drinking wine. I finally created a website for my art & craft at www.wix.com/siyingtan/designs.

2012

Walk at my own pace, stop looking at the gap in front of you and believe in finding health, success and happiness by keeping at it.

I almost thought tomorrow is the last day of the year instead.

2011-12-30T18:41:00.002+08:00

This is almost the last day of the year and I think I spent it the way I always have been. I went for a swim and amazingly (even until now) it didn't rain.

In fact with the abundant sunshine and slightly cold water, the swim today reminded me (again) of the swims in Phuket earlier the year. But a swim in the pool is never the same as the one in the sea - there is no sand, no sea bed, you almost cannot see the sky (more of a surrounded-by-HDB view), no wave (people swimming past you in the pool with big strokes splashing water all over the place don't count) and there is no adventure. The swim in the pool is always one straight line to the end (there is an end even) and back (but sure one will grumble if some fellow cuts your line/swims into your lane).

I recalled swimming along that safety rope (I supposed so) out in the Phuket sea towards the end that I cannot see, I recalled swimming around the tiny white-sanded island, I recalled snorkeling the sea with waves pushing me backwards.

2011-12-26T21:19:00.001+08:00

Christmas party

Family's Christmas Day lunch

2011-12-11T03:20:00.002+08:00

It definitely doesn't seem like the year is about to end for me. I spent most nights writing, most weekends writing still. It seems crazy but I hope everything turns out fine when the week starts. I imagine it to be perfect, so that I have some time off to feel the year as it is coming to an end.

I look forward to starting on something new next year, I look forward to going to somewhere new next year, I look forward to getting better next year.

2011-11-23T22:51:00.003+08:00

It's been increasingly difficult, and the last tweet I had before I got myself into some trouble was never to give up no matter how hard things can be. Sometimes I try again, sometimes on another day, sometimes I ask for help, sometimes I cry, sometimes I jus dont do it the best way that it could have been done, but I guess I jus keep hanging on there and not stop at it.

So after which I found myself locked in the toilet/stairway area after forgetting my access pass. I tried knocking on the door but found myself remembering that no one was left in the office already. I climbed 8 floors down thinking that a fire exit would lead to an exit. To then realise that I have to smash this emergency glass panel to trigger an alarm, and possibly someone out there to save me. So I climbed back up to every floor doing the same knocking but was left with little hope that anyone would hear or walk by. I tried screaming but freaked out from hearing the deep echo - more scary that getting myself trapped in the empty stairway. So I climbed all the way back to my floor thinking at sitting by the toilet gives me higher hope of getting saved, and in any case I need not worry about drinking water and a place to pee. But I didnt give up and continue to knock until a face emerged before the door that freaked me out - but at least I was saved this time.

I didnt have time to pray but a miracle happened. So I want to thank the colleague and the answered prayers that I was yet to give.

One of the many silly troubles I have been getting myself into recently - like calling myself on the land line thinking why the caller and receiver are both me. And not forgetting getting my luggage lock cut to find the key in the very same place I remembered putting it.

2011-11-14T22:59:00.002+08:00

I used to have them, and I might still have them, in a far-away distance. Most of the time I didnt have time for them because if everything/anything has to be worth it, time is the only thing that I can grab before it's all gone.

So thanks for the little joy here and there. I only have that much time left to run a winning race.

2011-11-14T22:38:00.002+08:00

I almost forgot about the one instant, one moment of feeling I felt today that I wanted to write about, that I thought is a progress, a milestone in itself.

But it's easy to forget about one out of the many, many things in any recent day. Especially when any Monday is a magnet for anything-can-happen and everything-will-happen. And because I came back with what's left of only four more episodes of my favourite show.

But, today I actually felt like I will miss what I am doing when I am not doing it. Despite everything and anything else, I actually even would arrive at this stage must have been a surprise to myself.

Especially after a weekend of not having the motivation to do anything but laze around, it must have been a big, big surprise to arrive that on a almost-everything-happened Monday.

2011-11-06T16:18:00.000+08:00

Disney World, Oct 2011 (Part 3)

Very curious over this dolphin. I thought it was jus ugly goldfish.

Conference venue, Swan Hotel. Now this is a swan really.

Outdoor lunch

Balcony view - see how the giraffe sits again

See the starry roof!

Hollywood Studios with the rest

Mickey's!

That's alot of them!

Animal Kingdom Lodge - outdoor viewing area

I only had time to do one round of photo taking, but no time to enjoy sitting around

Orange glow!

Mickey show in black and white - very fun watching

Very enjoyable talk

Conference venue - Broadwalk

Going back home, 30 hours away half the globe

Bye Mickey

Isnt it amazing to see another plane while in a plane

Is it KFC or KGC?

2011-11-05T12:45:00.000+08:00

Disney World, Oct 2011 (Part 2)

Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom, Africa

Safari ride

How many times do we see a giraffe sitting down?

Animal Kingdom, Asia

Stalked Pooh when he went for a pee!

Festival of the Lion King Musical - very enjoyable.

Fishing

So cute

Good sunny day

Tell me thats a dolphin - Dolphin Hotel, the conference venue

Balcony view

Epcot

In the queue for half hour jus for this!

The evening orange glow

The fire, lights, water and fireworks show at Epcot

2011-10-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

Disney World, Oct 2011

I love the menu from Sg-Toyko, with steamed rice, vegetables and soba.

Disney Typhoon Beach- the float I wanted to do most

Downtown Disney - is it Christmas soon?

Winnie!

Flying balloon outside

Nice!

Must be absolutely amazing to look ok after 30odd hours flight and 2 hours in water park.

Cloud writing

Say hi.

Magic Kingdom

Mickey not so scary party!

Isnt Mickey cute regardless if he is paper, soft toy or copper?

Or milk?

Winnie storybook ride!

If you noticed the Mickey cap.

I have one small Mickey.

The orange glow over Orlando

At Animal Kingdom Lodge

Definitely wonderful.

2011-10-29T22:30:00.003+08:00

Recently I went half the globe to Orlando for work, made some friends and trying to fight jet lag with more sleep.

I love the day I had in Paris Disneyland 5 years ago but I don't know why I never thought whether I will go to the big one in the states. But anyhow the long 30 odd hours flight there puts me off but still I had an enriching work and fun time there. When I was in Tokyo for a short transit the city seemed so dark with jus lights. But it will always be the Tokyo that I remember, even if I never been there. Then I had a ten hour transit in LA, and all I did was checking mails and falling asleep in the lounge. By the time I reached Orlando, I was anxious to be out there. I went to the water park, looking forward to some swimming, snorkelling and floating around the park in the big float. While I did the floating (after a while I got impatient and swam instead), snorkelling with sea sharks freak me out. And did I say, getting from one place to another takes so much time and patient - Disney World is huge. I spent the rest of the day at Downtown Disney, which I did that on my last night with my colleague as well.

The next day I moved into Animal Kingdom Lodge, with a balcony view of animals roaming about in the day. Magic Kingdom was ok, partly because I already done some of the stuff in Paris. But I still enjoyed the Winnie the Pooh ride, 3D Mickey show and the motor racing. But really the one thing that I enjoyed most, for the park and the entire trip, must have been the fireworks. What I didn't get to see 5 years ago nearly brought tears after watching the amazing fireworks. The music, the lights, the castle, the bright sparks. I guess it was right to rush back to the park again.

Animal kingdom was enjoyable, especially the safari ride (which I did twice), Africa region, and mostly the Festival of the Lion King musical. I never think I would enjoy it but it must be jus behind the fireworks. Not forgetting photo taking with Winnie the Pooh that doesn't seem as fat? Then I spent some time at Epcot, for photo taking with Mickey and folks, as well as the water/firework show. After Magic's firework I guess everything else is second.

It was nice to have make friends during the trip. It was even nicer to come back and realise I have friends around me- all I need to do is talk to them more often. Everything seems so natural now that I don't think about what I've lost and I understand why anyway but no longer will care much. And when I freak out walking into a huge crowd not knowing anyone or any group, I realise there will always be somewhere out there that I wouldn't feel lost.

6 days since I came back and I'm still suffering from rather severe jet lag. I spend most hours sleeping now anyway.

So Disneyland, Disney World, until if we meet again, I have Mickey with me. He looks like a kid.

2011-10-10T00:23:00.002+08:00

Day 19

Home Sweet Home

Back home after 18 days in Europe. I felt like I lived there, and not as a tourist.

Day 18
What a last day to the airport! Luggage was stuck in the lift for say an hour but luckily everything went fine.

Day 17
Last day in Paris

To stop the runny nose.

Dumplings for lunch, by Paris Aunt!

And soup! We bid farewell in the metro station (again; ok 1 year ago, farewell was at train station, and 5 years ago, farewell was at her shop).

Favourite dinner, for the last time, before who-knows-when.

And the taste 5 years ago!

After dinner we walked about the area. In fact 5 years ago I never been to those places around the hotel!

Day 16
Back in Paris

Favourite restaurant was closed for the day, so we tried another viet restaurant. Really delicious first plate, until we got the second plate and it wasn't that nice.

Day 15
Last day in Luzern

Thats my dad behind me!

Back to town

Constantly hungry!

I learnt from tv that they love being pretty and clean, so they cleaned themselves many times a day.

A fat one!

Its like standing in a freezer and looking out to the sea when it was going to rain.

Amazing scenes of butt.

Nice flowers, taken from the bridge.

Isnt that blue nice!

Stayed on the bridge while it rained briefly.

And now it was sunny again. And I was having a bad runny nose.

Going back to Paris, going back to Sg.

2011-10-01T09:30:00.002+08:00

The best I can put this.

I was lost for awhile, in the things that I do/did/am doing. But after the session, I was understanding it abit more, and am trying to find my way, the right way.

And of course, I am more ever determined to stop wasting time on people that really don't matter/care/fleeting, because really they aren't worth my time nor patient.

2011-10-01T09:12:00.002+08:00

Maybe the key is simply about being patient, or maybe it's jus all about time/timing.

5 years ago, I wanted very much to see the fireworks at Disney. But there was jus no way to see the show and yet be back on time, and the actual fact was, after 9 hours of straight Disney fun, I was sleepy and satisfied enough to want to go back to my hostel. I didn't think I would be back in a Disney park soon, despite how happy I was back then even if I was at the park on my own. I totally agree that Disney is the happiest place on Earth, but that was the memory of a 23 years old.

So it seems, I might be able to relive those memories, plus see the fireworks and hit back hotel after that.

2011-09-25T19:41:00.000+08:00

Day 14
Luzern

2011-09-24T01:06:00.001+08:00

Day 13
Sick in Luzern but my family had fun!

2011-09-21T22:13:00.001+08:00

Day 12
To Luzern

Train to Luzern

Nice!

2011-09-20T22:33:00.000+08:00

Day 11
Half sick, and visiting Paris aunt

The peaceful neighbour whereby you can wake up to the sounds of birds and smells of flowers.

Apartment in Paris - the room my sister and I shared.

2011-09-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

Day 10
Where else! Sightseeting day

The walk down. I hadnt done that 5 years ago, nor 1 year ago.

Say byebye

Tired already

Favourite viet food!

2011-09-17T23:46:00.001+08:00

Day 9
Shopping Day

2011-09-16T23:44:00.002+08:00

It has reached the natural progression of death, that despite how I like to deny, how hard I tried to avoid hitting down the same road, or how I would miss it when it ends at its death, it has come to that.

How I thought it wouldn't happen this time round because of how much I enjoyed those times, how I thought that I will have patience for what I used to enjoy. But it gets more satisfaction and less agony doing the work slides, or spend nonsense time surfing the net aimlessly than this. For something that is so easy and simple, it became so much a frustration with each cumulative frustrate. So maybe all we are left with from the death of things now is, the most, talk. Because if we cannot do that even then let's jus accept that.

Perhaps its fault of someone, more than one, or everyone, but since there had been efforts and since it doesn't make me happy and I ran out of patience anymore so let's jus come to celebrate its death, in this quiet, fleeting way.

2011-09-15T22:15:00.001+08:00

Day 8
Paris all over

Together

Lunch

Where I stayed 5 years ago

2011-09-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

Day 7
From Chamonix back to Paris

The little train station

Last walk around the town area

See that?

After overnight of rain

Amazing

Anyway I took the bus away from Chamonix, not the train. And that 3 hours of bus ride was window view of mountains and more, endless mountains.

In transit, to train ride

Inside

Back in Paris. That's real flowers grown by Paris Aunt, with the ever smiling pig.

2011-09-11T00:06:00.001+08:00

Donned in last year france pajamas and enjoyed 250cc of 1664, the last of happy birthday 28 went by. I think the best birthday present I gave/received this year was the Europe family trip. At least I can tell myself that at least I done that. It didn't feel like a holiday because it felt abit as if we were living there. Each time I used/wore/ate something I/we gotten from the holiday I feel that bit of comfort now that the daily everyday reality is. So see you soon.

2011-09-11T00:02:00.001+08:00

Day 6
In Chamonix

Taken at the bus stop

Went to the supermarket and everywhere your background is mountains.

Isnt this near? I dont know if anyone will get bored living in such a place but I dont think I ever will.

Because every mountain is different. The lovely blue sky.

Ice! (or whatever its name is)

Imagine christmas

Cows!

I went up!

Spot the little yellow flowers

Waterfall!

Look up

Where I took my dinner, by the window, seeing how the view changes every minute. Thats the most delicious part of the meal.

2011-09-08T23:00:00.001+08:00

Day 5
To Chamonix

The rainy morning

In one of the three trains

I didn't realise that leaving Chamonix gives a better mountain view than arriving at Chamonix.

Somewhere out there

The last train, finally!

More blue skies please

Isnt this life

Tell me its summer

Cant be happier to reach; cant be happier to leave

2011-09-05T20:48:00.001+08:00

Day 4
VAT refund day

The last time when I was here a year ago, I only had time to take a shot of the roof, so this was it again.

Lunch & desserts

Dinner

2011-09-04T18:38:00.001+08:00

Day 3
In Paris

Lunch

Desserts

Pretty every year

Dinner

2011-08-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

Day 2
Shopping with a companion

Nice balcony

Everything comes with beer

Prawn spag

2011-08-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

Nothing can be compared to a holiday, almost. So I cannot really say I am glad to be back, but I was back and it wasn't bad at all. I was still having the jet lag and all, but to hear some many people saying Hi already is welcoming.

*

But I also realised that being independent now meant that I will have to adapt when I moved in a year's time to a department.

*

We both thought each other was thinner but I now think it was jus because we hadn't seen each other for a long time that's all. I am sure it hurts so I shouldn't trek that route again. But why I think it feels different somewhat. Why they used to be immediately hidden and now it was up there. I wish it was done privately but I didn't think again.

I feel like saying I miss you. But I will never agree with it.

2011-08-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

I'm back. From one of my longest overseas summer holidays - whereby I had time with my friends, time to spend alone and time with my family.

I wrote a few paragraphs on my plane back, which perhaps I will pen it here at the end.

Day 1
Landed & cannot resist to get a hair cut (by the same hairdresser as the summer before)

Lunch

Dinner

Drinks

2011-07-31T05:12:00.000+08:00

I think I was much more excited 10 weeks ago than a few hours away from my flight. I guess I will always feel that I wish to stay home whenever I am about to leave home and the other way round on other times, so I shouldn't be wondering why anymore. There really isn't a reason for everything.

But I do remember why I/we are doing this, because it was a dream from almost 5 years ago.

So I guess I will be pretty excited the moment the dream unfolds.

And after this trip I would have doubled the number of days I spent in Paris from the last 2 trips, so I better do explore more of Paris than I had. Because I really don't know much of it to justify the 24 days over there. After this I think I really will want to move on to other european cities that I still want to explore after all these while, mainly Norway, Sweden and Greece. But probably somewhere closer to home next year first.

Also the fact that this is one of the longest overseas holiday that I ever remember taking, I am so glad that I am doing this.

So if I do say Hi or until when I am back, Happy Birthday Singapore.

2011-07-27T23:12:00.002+08:00

23 July 2011

Freaking flying canopy ride- I was taking photos until I freaked out from the backward and downward jerk.

Now if you can see half my pants was wet and I was under the sun for an hour before its dry.

Us at USS

2011-07-25T20:44:00.002+08:00

I feel like I wasted all the fun I had in Universal Studios Sentosa jus two days ago because on the bus ride home on the first day back at work, I was in tears. Buckets of them. Maybe its a small problem that provoked tears compounded by the fact that I was tired and sleepy but to be honest the problem existed long ago and the only difference was that I was strong enough all these while to brush it away each time it occurred. And because I don't know why it happens I wasn't convinced it should happen. Even if the reason for its happening is a ridiculous one, I would at least understand its existence, irregardless how unconvinced I am. I need to sleep, or run away, or both. You see, I am less than a week away from the much anticipated trip and I am in tears?

But I will never lose (let alone admit defeat - because I will not lose, how will I defeat or admit to one). No matter how difficult it can get, it wouldn't be too difficult.

2011-07-19T23:18:00.002+08:00

Two and a half month and for the first time I felt that everything is ok or rather everything is back to being ok. Nothing has changed, jus for today I guess.

You know, working from home really makes me/ everyone of us a happier person.

2011-07-16T14:48:00.002+08:00

Because I was disappointed of what happened to people around me so all I want to do is hide at home. I don't want to talk about it, because I don't want to hear pretended answers, denials or assumptions.

2011-07-09T13:53:00.001+08:00

The reason why I decided to go to Chamonix was because I saw a beautiful picture of the train station as it stood among the mountains. I love mountains, especially since my short cycling trip at GAP back in 2008, plus my love for train rides and train stations. I was at a point in time deciding between a beach destination and a mountain place but I guess because of the image of the train station with mountains as a background, I picked Chamonix. And the top thing that I want to do at Chamonix is of course, cycling.

2011-07-09T13:52:00.001+08:00

My KL-Sg postcard went to Thailand instead!

2011-07-06T12:51:00.002+08:00

I didn't realise I am officially over the 5-year mark of working life until jus now (or maybe I did, jus that I forget I did). So I went back to look at the calendar to realise what I had done that day- a new department birthday lunch and the site recee.

2011-07-05T13:43:00.001+08:00

The food quality, like the quality of our fashion, is heading to the ground. There is literally not much of a difference between chicken soup or fish soup, because salt only has one taste. Often too salty, too overpriced (price increased coupled with reduction in portion) and as usual, unhealthy. Too much processed, and preserved food and too oily. Any day I yearn for pasta, sandwiches, milk and anything we make at home.

Maybe someone should look into the food/meal industry because there is not much of a point trying to maintain food prices, if correspondly the portions are reduced or we are constantly eating unhealthy food.

2011-07-05T13:17:00.000+08:00

Call centers/ customer service hotlines generally drive me/everyone mad. The top 5 things that can happen when we dial one are:
- we are lost in the menu and never gotten in the line to speak to the operator
- we are put on hold longer than the amount of time we had with the officer
- we spent most of our time repeating our stories (try speaking to officers located out of Singapore)
- our calls get cut off literally
- officer cannot do anything, nor want to do anything to our case anymore

I sent my mobile to repair and it was a relief that HTC support center is near to the new office. HTC call center was alright, albeit I was trying my best to successfully communicate to officer the case ID is "P" and not "B" or "T" or "which B".

But the most pleasant bit of this entire I-cannot-live-without-my-phone-because-my-sister-old-mobile-is-mad experience is that HTC actually delivers, for free, the repaired phone back to me. Nothing less but in a box that reads "I'm back" in a HTC carrier bag. Such a great job that I am going to send back my survey response.

2011-06-29T00:24:00.003+08:00

Thank-you to Wilfrid's Giveaway, we caught Transformers 3(D) preview tonight. I am loving big toys, aliens, robots and science fiction all the more!

2011-06-29T00:03:00.002+08:00

The only time I opened my mouth and talked was almost always only during lunches. I hope this model works and is sustainable. Though sometimes I do "talk" to you and it always make me smile like a fool and wonder if you are "talking" in the straight face.

*

You make me more than who I am, to wake up and relook at things around me and so now I am curious and interested in everything around me. Things that I was never interested in, things that I was afraid of, things that I never thought of.

And I know what this is, forbidden nevertheless.

2011-06-24T23:29:00.003+08:00

After days of working from home, it was tough walking back into an office again today, even if I had a third of a can of coke. But yet of all days, after months on this new role, today I am confident to finally say that I feel happy that, despite everything else, I am doing what I am doing now. And I knew I wouldn't be happy if I have taken the other option, even if that is something I never will know. And this is after almost 5 months on this role, that I had such a reflection, as I walked back to my cubicle.

I am coping good now and I can accept everything (almost) that comes with it. I know I once said that since I am going to take this up, I will have to make all the sacrifices worth-while. I know they are. All the more, I know I might not have even sacrifice much, but gain more than anything, because whatever that belonged to me still belongs to me now and whatever that will not belong to me is also not going to be mine regardless of what. I move on, grow up and even if sometimes they hurt, I know this is one of the best.

Everything around me is always almost dead silent, other than music, but it also gave me a lot more to do a lot more. I am not tied to what were done in the past and I enjoy the flexible I have to do what I want in a way.

And so this is how I feel.

Now what's left is whatever time left on this role, and that I have to remember to water Hello Kitty Junior, my plant by the window.

*

It wouldn't make much sense if you hadn't quite know what this is all about but it is clear to me at least.

And, if so this is what you are curious about.

2011-06-23T23:19:00.002+08:00

Did we ever ask, why it hasn't happen until now. Why is that, before this happens, or someone playing a role in your life appears, why it hasn't happen before, nor someone else appears before?

Like why I don't have a closer friend than till you came to what is now my ex-team. Or like why did I not have anyone to email all the interesting articles and songs until you came to also what is now my ex-team.

But why is that, they say you are no longer who I know. I guess I don't know still because well, we are of the different teams now.

2011-06-23T21:49:00.001+08:00

Love this show!

2011-06-22T21:01:00.002+08:00

That I was thinking, why do we spend so much of our time in life doing the same few things. Of the years when we are young and able, we spend all our time in the little seat cubicle in a boxed environment and forget about the pace of life or even how good it feels to smell the sun and wind. Then of years of old ages why do we then drag our tired feet and body to smell life out there.

And why do we even pick out only the prettiest and perfect in-the-human-standard while wasting the others that don't make the cut, and in the process forget about everything natural? I was watching this documentary clip on how manufacturer chose the perfect apples to sell while discarding the remaining so-called ugly apples as apple juice. I know it makes sense that it didnt matter what kind of apples goes into making juices, but it does matter that the logic isn't right. We wax and keep the apples look good, all so that they look good? We forget about the natural but care only about making them last (by putting loads of chemicals into them) or picking only the prettiest one out. They dont make sense to me.

2011-06-18T00:15:00.001+08:00

My habits are periodic. Sometimes I eat alot; then I dont. Sometimes I read alot; then I couldnt get moving. Sometimes I sleep alot; then I couldnt. Its driving me mad that I am eating little, not reading much and cannot get to sleep. Being frustration is too much an understatement.

2011-06-13T23:26:00.002+08:00

It’s been more than a month since the office is moved, and since I gotten a seat away from my ex-team. Considering the days that I had been out of office, the remaining days were too occupied to feel the absence of what used to be there, so there hadnt been much adapting-to-the-new-environment that was required of me. The only time that I have would lead me to think of all the little conversations, throwing of stuff and chats/snacks that we shared, which now eroded to almost just lunch once a week of sort.

2011-06-08T00:49:00.001+08:00

A simple story, different from science fiction, but nevertheless informative, and touching. But rather I think I was looking more of the author's feelings of living in the place, rather than so much into the characters' lives. Like how a city girl feels living a year in tibet, how blue the sky is to her, or how she feels being among the people.

2011-06-07T22:51:00.002+08:00

I have serious views of the level of customer service we have, or rather the lack of it.

Years ago I have already realised that, to my horror, staff in the shop never knew what amenities they have in the mall their stores are located at, but the worse is, even without any customers to deal with and no apparent task at hand, they never bother to help, if you are not making any purchase. The fact is, this situation never change for the better if it hadn't deteriorate. Even staff fronting the information counter have poor knowledge of what they are supposed to be there for.

The thing is, if we are all bad at what we do, why are we doing the jobs/anything at all. I think our productivity will increase if we stop doing.

As long as I am travelling I find lesser motivations to step into a mall:
How easy is it to stay happy with crazy mark-up for poor quality of last season's design with no customer service in crowded places.

2011-06-04T02:02:00.002+08:00

It's weird. I never intended to go back to Paris, not so soon, not so many times, but this August, I will be back there for the third time in five years. Maybe if there is somewhere I would shift to it will be it, no? Or maybe having a friend there is the only reason. At this moment, after looking at the photos from five years ago, my first time there, I already felt like it's abit of going to a second home, is it. I missed those home cooked food by Paris Aunt and now that I am looking at last year's photos, I knew it was right to get away to Chamonix only for two days and have those four days in Paris, on my own, with Paris Aunt, before my family arrives.

2011-06-03T20:06:00.000+08:00

I want to swim here next time!

2011-05-31T12:50:00.000+08:00

Great, I don't really know how to not get myself into little life confusions/messes like:

Putting yoghurt into freezer thinking it was the refrigerator and get frozen yoghurt cubes
Mixing people's name with their surname
Nearly fell into a drain when trying to cross it to get to bridge
Capping the water flask which is overfilled with water

2011-05-29T11:02:00.001+08:00

I am trying hard to get used to it, and trying not to show it, or feel it to be any different.

But for the records, it cannot be more different than what it used to be. I dont have anyone besides to talk to, I dont know what my friends are up with and even during lunches I get disconnected at times.

2011-05-28T22:25:00.001+08:00

My days

2011-05-28T22:24:00.001+08:00

This is the finale of the Ender's game series, and the last of Ender and parallel series book that I read. That even my reading companion had a little paragraph in the email upon finishing this last one. Ender is dead (or in another way, no) and the scene that came to my mind was the winning Ender, the tired Ender and the Ender by the lake, depressed.

As though this is the farewell too, because now we have another lesser ansible.

2011-05-28T10:01:00.000+08:00

It wouldn't be considered a nightmare if it will happen eventually no matter how, but I didn't expect to see it, not in my dreams, not in real life, not anywhere. Because if you don't see it, you wouldn't have flashbacks that's too painful to occur. So it still came like a shock somehow to see it unfolding all in front of me, for me to face what I don't want to in reality.

2011-05-22T21:09:00.002+08:00

My 10-day break ends tonight and it feels like going back to first week of May all over again, like going back to the new office/department all on my own all over again and what-again.

I am hanging on there. It wasn't too pessimistic but I am jus still alittle on the worrying side. But I am looking forward and already counting down to 10 weeks from now. Because it will be everything but this- Paris, Lucerne, Chamonix, train rides, shopping, eating, sightseeing, my holiday, family holiday, Paris aunt.

Because, it was a dream from 5 years ago, after I stepped foot on and came back from Barcelona.

2011-05-21T14:34:00.002+08:00

My 10 days holiday is coming to an end. Knowing that the holiday will end in 10 days does affect how much of a holiday you can derive out of it but I did some of the things that I want to; train ride to KL and back, all the surfing and swimming, breaking out in sweats from the afternoon naps, resting well and basically staying at home.

2011-05-17T16:29:00.001+08:00

Greed and worries make people unhappy, at least for me. But greed is a tiger than can be tame, because if you dont have/cannot have something, sometimes no matter how hard you try you still wouldnt get it and I accept this. But worries seem to consume me of my energy and enthusaism, which is worrying in itself. If I can convince myself on a long term basis, because short term is easy, that worrying is of no value because what will happen will happen and what will not happen will not happen and all I can do is to do whatever is necessary if it happens or if it does not happen, then I think things will be better.

2011-05-16T18:08:00.002+08:00

I have wanted to travel all the way back to Hat Yai via the jungle line, the one we did in January 2011 but eventually settled for 25 hours with Kuala Lumpur, with about 6,7 hours in KL and the rest on the train. And I dont think I have been to KL (the day trip years ago should be to JB) before this.

The city line kept me wondering how would the jungle line be like in the day but I think I am rather done with the city train ride. All the more makes me look forward to train ride to hopefully Chamonix, and Lucerne later this year.

Singapore

Along the way in JB

Legendary Overseas Restaurant, S$7.50 for this plate

Black hokkien mee that I tasted years ago and wanted to eat it again, from Restoran Kim Lian Kee

Waiting for this shot!

*
[No I wasn't lost]

I hadn't told you so.

2011-05-16T11:21:00.003+08:00

My new home by

Suntracks Concepts

!

We have been living in here for a few months and its really comfortable that sometimes you don't want to go out.

The living room

The open concept kitchen

Great lights at night

Common toilet

Master bedroom

Master bedroom toilet

My room!

My sister's room

2011-05-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

With 5 million people living on the island or trying to leave the island at any one point in time, reservation is the tool to getting a table in the restaurant or a train ticket. And I still hadn't gotten my ticket and I have to go down tomorrow hoping to get one.

2011-05-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

I am pretty excited.

I had two swims this week already, considering that I no longer have the convenience and free use of an office pool. I ended up going to the public pool in Clementi and Buona Vista. It wasn't as easy as when I was used to where I swim and now it depends on where I am nearer to. The warm weather meant that a non-heated pool was officially warmer than a heated one, but anywhere nearer to the sky and water is good enough for me.

I have an unexpected stretch of leave, I think so. If I dont have a companion, I might still run off for a free and easy train ride. It's not that flexible for the fact that I already saw the train schedules and know when I can hop off/on. It sounds scary but it makes you feel alive when you do scary things. Alone, even if its alone.

*

You know I talk more than I was being talked to so I am thankful that you are still talking to me, that you are talking to me this way.

So let's say hi again one week-ish from now, shall we.

I hope to drop you a postcard.

2011-05-11T13:02:00.003+08:00

I am pretty excited about going to Paris/Europe again this year. The first time when I was in Paris, I don't think I will be returning soon because there wasn't much I want to go there already. But I was back there last year for some visiting and enjoyed greatly staying over in not a budget hotel but a home even if I didnt feel excited about the trip even when I landed in CDG. And this year again, we would be going to Paris for part of the family Europe trip, and I would be spending some time alone there first as well.

I think I am thinking of Chamonix and those mountains and blue sky.

I should be conscious to read `Why the sky is blue.

2011-05-11T08:27:00.001+08:00

I have been working too hard and playing too much, and I think its way time to do other things already, and one of them being stopping in the tracks.

2011-05-08T13:23:00.001+08:00

Polling Day Come-visit-my-home

Brief but fun nevertheless.

2011-05-07T10:14:00.002+08:00

And so we met before 9ish at Prague, this place with live band, drinks and food in Tanjong Pagar. To pour over what we went through the last days or so; to see someone smiling shiny for all the good sleep; to sit in the toilet of Amara Hotel to continue; and to even stand by the roads to talk when we were asked to leave the toilet to facilitate cleaning.

See you guys in a few hours time.

2011-05-05T21:26:00.001+08:00

I ran home for comfort food of instant mee and mamee monster- because I was jus simply disappointed for the day.

2011-05-03T23:02:00.002+08:00

The first day at the new office, new place was finally over, but never really will be over because each and every day I am going to go through it all over again, until I cannot recall how different this is.

It was almost like 5 years ago, all over again in a new place, but today I was not the fresh graduate who really wouldn't know much and can be expected to not know. I wasn't the girl who has friends out there somewhere, but one who has friends and people I know so near but so far, who is expected to know.

I guess I can lament all about how lonely, how alone, how silent the day was; like how I opened up all the chocolate beans and sweets to munch and how I stared at those photos and out; like how only Hello Kitty Super Junior my little living plant is happy with all the sun she is getting. But at the same time the only way to go is to hello-wake-up-and-be-independent because I am no longer the girl 5 years ago. I am not going to prove you right that I am wrong at this.

That, I keep telling myself, I can do it. There is nothing wrong with me, even if I still knock into things some of the time.

2011-05-03T04:33:00.003+08:00

I didn't know why/how but I cried before I went to bed and now I cannot get back to sleep, and I have been having (albeit mad) nightmares the past few nights- because when the week starts today, I will be on my own and I think it's freaking me out more than I say it (I don't quite say it anyway).

I have this habit of leaving what I want to tell you till I see you in the mornings to tell you to realise that I don't have any more mornings with you already.

2011-05-01T18:15:00.002+08:00

It seemed like this is the most appropriate time to have finished Shadow of the Giant, my 8th Card book, today. The last weekend after which I would start the week (and for the rest of who knows how long) away from everything in the past 5 years since I came in/ everything in the past 7 months that things changed. That you are like who Bean is to Petra, only pity that I am not to you who Petra is to Bean, especially when you were the giant so close. The book was especially touching when Bean had to go away, away from Petra forever that when Petra aged and passed on, Bean might still be alive in travel. Even in that hastily manner the pain was evidently clear to me and Petra, let alone the four months of luxury I had to say goodbye. That the letter Bean wrote to Petra, that the entire was "I love you" and how Peter Wiggin said "I love you". It was so painful that Bean cannot be with Petra but this is how the book is.

Save my heart, because I couldn't tell you enough, or even at all.

The very last book left I supposed would be Children of the Mind, which I think you should have the honour to read first. And that like the hope that the author might be adding another book to the series, this would have been the closest we can get and from now onwards we would get further.

2011-05-01T12:20:00.001+08:00

2011-05-01T08:54:00.000+08:00

Literally renewed this book which wasn't borowed under my name- this is my 7th book by Card. Comprises of 4 short stories that fit into the Ender's Game series along the way- the story about how Jane came about and how did Ender's parents meet were my favourite, especially that of Jane. So much we know about her but not right from the start. But of course I still love his books more than short stories, his EG series. I am mid-way into finish Shadow of a Giant, the parallel series. And finally, I got to lay my hands on the last book of the EG series- Children of the mind.

2011-04-29T02:53:00.001+08:00

Byebye to Suntec, farewell to INTC - 28 April 2011

Farewell lunch

Clearing party

Neighbour's last look out of Suntec

Everything cute and funny

And if none of the 4 boxes reached the new office, the other 3 are going to be gone too

Drawing is certainly therapy

For I spent the last of whatever left in Suntec doing this

The last state

2011-04-29T00:45:00.003+08:00

I don't think I could have ask for a less painful farewell than this because I didn't have to leave Suntec on my own (imagine tearing on the bus), I said byebye to my neighbour knowing that I wouldnt be sitting next to her but like I know I will still see her all the time, I didn't have to go to the new office on my own (feeling afraid and alone), and I have friends with me going to find my new cubicle.

The fact has been, I didn't know where I sit because it wouldn't matter where knowing it isn't together with my friends.

I sat for a long while around the place where I could have taken if not for the new posting. I sat there imaging how it would be like, how much fun it would be, how nice it would be (it really is nice with the sea view- I would have love it, the best place to feel the sunshine, look at the vast nature and imagine the breeze). I sat there listening to their plans on how and what they want to do. I sat there feeling totally empty.

The only thing I can say to myself is that, I should work all the more harder to make this painful farewell worthy.

And I really should resume swimming because the lack of it is making me very irritable and impatient, as told and as aware.

*

And in fact, the farewell was prolonged, as much as it could have gone. We went to the rally- my first ever. Exhausted and sad from the day events, for us, didn't make it a long one, and I was almost falling asleep as I saw on the grass field until a pat on my head asking if I am ok and whether to leave. Anyway I broke the fresh promise.

[It's very scary] {Why} [People treat you nicer than normal] {They do. Why is that not good} [They should treat me like normal people] {I am the only stupid one to scold you all the time} [It is very lonely after 5 years of having friends and people I know that I dont have anymore] {You still have} [Its different now] [I cannot turn behind to talk to my neighbour knowing she knows how I feel] [I cannot turn to you and talk to you] {I felt like I have worked for a long time} [I used to feel so stuck and run off to Orchard for lunch at least once a week] {Do you still meet him} [No, a bad friend] {You or him} [Him] [I was always there when he has problems, the never ending same problems but when I was injuried he disappeared; I guess since I am ok with that then I am fine without the friendship anyway] [I learn to be a better person nevertheless] {How} [To be more patient, to know what to do] {You are a problematic kid, you have so many issues and problems} [Asthma is not a problem, I am usually like normal people, other than the fact that when I talked as I walked, I feel tired.] {I dont mean asthma} [Then] {You knocked into things all the time, you are slow in your responses, you are very off sometimes, you keep scolding people sometimes} [Knocking into things is not a problem; yes I am very slow but you cannot change stuipidity; I know and I will try to change because the lack of swimming is making me really bad] [Will you miss me as your neighbour] {No I am very happy that you left us, no one will throw things at me, or suddenly scream} {You can always come back to look for us}
I know it probably doesnt make sense but I guess this must be one of the last conversations in this manner so this is for memory sake.

And then the actual farewell was in fact as short as byebye.

2011-04-28T00:09:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is our last day in Suntec; my last day with my team. Technically tomorrow is gone- with all the packing and buzz, and today was the last day; had been.

What a nice last day; memorable hang-out with everyone, with my dear friends, drunk.

All I want, is jus more time with you guys but this is not going to be the way. So lets say goodbye after which I will be out from this circle of you guys; the little jokes, the team bonding, the talks and chats, the cute and funny and fun stuff. I will never need to not want to talk to you because there isnt much chance for that anyhow.

It really isn't as easy as I make it sound like, if it even sound easy in the first place.

2011-04-27T23:44:00.005+08:00

No matter how long the ride home was, it wasn't enough time to think about the night that has jus passed.

[Wei] [Stop smiling, stop sleeping] {Why you hadn't gone home} [You have been sleeping for the past hour] [I cannot get you to wake up] [What if you sleep here through the night] [Shut down the laptop, go home] [Are you sure this is all you are taking] [Dont stand at the lift lobby; move, otherwise you will fall asleep again] [You are still awake to get yourself through the gate] [You are very heavy] [Dong gua] [Stop hitting me, it hurts] {See, even the train is gone} [You are very cute when you are drunk] [Why are you patting my head; like what I do] {Its very sad, life is like this destined silver path} [See, I pull you out, you can have a life] [Where is your ezlink] [Yes I am taking the other train, can go home also] {How, I cannot find bbq mamee monsters} [You only tried carrefour] {I tried carrefour, shen xiong; I still cannot find bbq} [Ok ok I will get it for you] [Stop sleeping, talk to me] {I know you are a good person} {Sit down, there} [Dont sleep, talk to me] {Why you cant do this (gun and two); what if you get rob} {What if you are lost} {2 more stops only] [Alright, ya, how can it be 2 more stops 5 stops ago; you can argue when you are drunk but bad mathematics] {My mathe is very good; I can do better than 282 for PSLE} [Ok ok this is your stop] {My stop; you stay} {Get back in} {Its gone} {Go home} [Go home] {You will lose your way; what if tomorrow you didnt go to the office} [I am not your neighbour from tomorrow onwards, why do you care if I cannot find my way] {If I dont, call the police} {If you dont go I dont go} [Haha you still realise you werent using your ezlink pass but office pass] [Shhhh stop shouting] [I am sure tomorrow you wouldnt remember all this] {Yes I agree I wouldnt remember but [I cant remember what you said anyway]} [Go home] {You go home}

Afternote: And now I recalled, you showed me the pen marks on your palm, [What's that] {The helpdesk case ID}.

And guess what, to keep you awake and not fall asleep while waiting for the train, I placed my icy hands on your cheeks; it worked because you are lamenting on how cold they are! Very cute indeed.

2011-04-27T20:24:00.003+08:00

I definitely say this better in writing than by saying it actually.

{So are you sad or happy to move over there} [Sad] {Why did you hesitate for a while before giving your answer}

2011-04-25T23:43:00.003+08:00

I want to run away- from the past that I will not have, from whatever I am supposed to be doing, from whatever that requires me to breathe in consciously hard. Part of me wants to do it together with my friends, but part of me wants to do it alone/no matter what.

So maybe, if I can, I will take the mid-May off for a unplanned train ride. Hop on and hop off as and when I want to even if the furthest I can go to is Southern Thailand (so that I can come back in time for well, another week what else). It scares me but I know I like doing what scares me if I like it.

2011-04-25T23:31:00.003+08:00

We are down to the last week in Suntec, and I am down to the last week with my team. In fact, I didn't even have a week. It was 3.5 days and we are done with Monday already.

You see, the only way you get pass being sad is when you are exhausted or too busy with packing. Maybe this is the big escape for me- so that I don't get too attached to the past when we are all out of Suntec. But the fact remains that nothing about the new place is part of my consideration- I am moving there alone, so wherever that might be, it didn't matter.

I am missing saying hello and good morning to my neighbour, and saying goodbye to another neighbour.

So hello and good morning, then goodbye. Separately somewhere else, even with a different lift lobby.

2011-04-23T02:48:00.000+08:00

My Days

Say byebye to Suntec and INTC

View of Sajc (from MBC), a view that I never seen before

Say byebye to Tanjong Pagar Railway Station

Say-farewell-to-INTC cards

2011-04-22T01:13:00.002+08:00

The event ended on Wednesday and I got an hour more sleep yesterday. I need to breathe and breathe in more.

I hadn't quite realised that the long weekend is here- I need to run about abit so I hope I have time to finish those backlog of 7 books. Alright, some of them.

2011-04-18T23:45:00.001+08:00

I am sure I am sad/upset/disappointed over the fact that I will not be moving over to the new office with my friends/colleagues- the department that I have been for the last 59 months, the friends in my team and the neighbours around me. And I know I am trying very hard not to feel something that I will live with everyday from May onwards.

I cannot bring myself to believe that by the end of next week, which means only 7 workdays to go, I will not be in the midst of all these.

That I will never see the smile-y face across the fence, nor feel free to throw my stuff over the fence or have someone to share mamee monsters with. And that I will never turn that little corner of ours into a girl-chat area, nor pour water into your cup because you didn't have time to run to the pantry or have someone who feels exactly how I am going through.

I dont know how this will be like on goodbye day, but it is already a tearful farewell day for me.

2011-04-16T14:24:00.002+08:00

My 6,000th Post Since 2003

My room, my pictures

At work

Korean Skewer Soup

Supper/morning breakfast
It's been fun, must have been.

2011-04-16T13:12:00.002+08:00

The other day we took some shots of our office, in the laughingly way of saying goodbyes. And we had such fun bonding over mussles, honey drink, herb garlic fries, skewer soup, fried chicken, and supper. That for once we spent the longest time debating ever over our positions that it was amazingly liberating. And had the rest of night laughing at each other and laughing at how others laugh at us.

2011-04-15T00:22:00.002+08:00

We had some fun moving legacy notebooks today and the fun part was because we got someone to help us on the moving of stuff. Then we got off to eat wanton noodles from my favourite store; I was trying to get my way for that instead of the roast pork store. And registering for course. How much time we have left for all these.

2011-04-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

We are going to leave the old office by end of the month and all these whiles all these are slipping away from me. Like we never would be chatting as we worked from our own screens; we never would be taking our farewell shots; we wouldn't decide on the spot to go for dinners before none of us had it; we wouldn't stand to chat at the end of dinner; and we wouldn't even know where I am because precisely I would be far away from you guys that when no one sees me no one remember me or know that I am still around. * It was way too funny today, that a second after you sent the message over I was to connect my laptop to the projector. And that I became the Robot PA, and the evening chat.

2011-04-13T00:08:00.002+08:00

Maybe I am tired now but did the laughters become less frequent and more tiring. Still every day counts because in less than 12 working days, we wouldn't be who we are to each other. It scares me all the time and the only reason that I am not feeling it always is because I am too occupied to feel it. I know I will get used to it; we have to, but I don't like it this way.

2011-04-11T22:56:00.002+08:00

This thing about money not being able to buy happiness is only true when you have to make sacrifices in order to gain those monies, so when nothing has to be given up or exchange for the monies, the statement no longer holds. We got jolly shandy today in the short supermarket walk and joked about getting a carton of mamee monster. - But the truth is, literally and abstractly, we are moving in opposite directions, or at least never going to be this similar ever. Why is it this difficult to - let's stay as friends, no matter where I am/we are.